Work Sucks.

To the dear contact lens patient I had earlier today:

Ma'am,
With all due respect I don't care what you believe.

Surprisingly beneath these rugged good looks lies someone who went to school for a couple of days to learn about eyes and contact lenses. Even more surprising is that I try to keep up with the latest studies and findings when it comes to eyes and contact lenses.

That said if you believe that my advice is wrong, fine, but please don't have the gall to say that your beliefs supersede years of research and experience. Further it doesn't have to be a "perfect world" to assume that one will wash their hands before handling their contact lenses. Also I can and do assume that patients use their contact lens solutions according to our directions.

So to repeat what I told you earlier:
1) Wash your hands before handling your contact lens (imperfect world and all)
2) Remove your contact lenses nightly (we both know you're not going to do this)
3) If not nightly (I strongly recommend nightly removal) remove them at least once a week (we both know you're not going to do this)
4) Get a pair of glasses (I know you're not going to, you know you're not going to but we can pretend can't we?)
5) Rub your lenses with the solution rather than just putting them in solution to soak overnight.


I will see you back when your already red eyes get more red. The pain you'll be feeling when I see you back will be God's way of saying; "Boy I sure created some idiots."

Sincerely,
The guy you scowled at for 20 minutes earlier this morning.

************************************************************

I saw a patient a couple of weeks ago. This poor woman is 72. Physically she looks great but mentally she's just not doing well. I don't know how dementia is measured but she is at the top of the scale.

My exam a couple of weeks ago consisted of me doing some tests and referring her out for cataract surgery.

I saw her back the other day. She had cataract surgery on one eye the day before. I was doing her one day follow up. Broke my heart when I heard this:

"I had surgery yesterday? I don't remember coming here yesterday!"

Man with her: "We didn't come here yesterday. We went somewhere else."

Woman with tears: "I don't remember going there. I had surgery!?"

That night I happened across a tv show about people climbing Mount Everest. On this show a 71 year old Japanese man became the oldest person to summit Mount Everest.

It amazes me how their can be such disparity in the effects of aging. Here I had a woman who couldn't remember having invasive surgery the day before and a man just a year younger summited Mount Everest.

I'm grateful for my good health. I complain about my back and headaches but things could be much worse. I was hit by a car with only inconvenient after effects (The backaches, headaches, and left foot problems). My brother-in-law drove my van into a moose while I was sitting in the back seat sans seatbelt (there was no seatbelt to put on) despite the van rolling on to its side I was no worse for the wear. A classmate driving in front of a speeding truck while we were in a little sporty car left me without a scratch.

Very fortunate, very grateful for my health and the health of my family.

I don't know what my point was but I felt like telling that story.

Sleep and the Loch Ness Monster

Much like seeing the Loch Ness Monster I am finding sleep to be rather elusive. I don't have insomnia per se as I eventually fall asleep only to have poor quality sleep. I wake up more tired than when I went to sleep.

Strange.

Swell's most recent birthday present should solve the sleeping problem.

Every episode of Road to Avonlea ever. Seven seasons worth.

Nice Thanks a lot for that gift. Just kidding. Kind of. Swell likes it that's all that matters. Its ok that I'll need to sit through them as well.

We may have a place to watch those episodes. The Nome job has gone from 11 days every two months to three weeks every ? months for both of us. They also want us to do some village travel. We would get into a small plane that would fly us into a village that can only be accessed by air where we would spend a couple of days being optometrists. They have a backlog of patients so they would like us to spend three weeks up there at a time. Fine by us as it is a 32% daily raise.

Employed/independent contractor optometrists tend to be paid via a daily rate. Some jobs have built in incentives (if you see X people you get Y extra per day) but it is a daily rate none-the-less.

Currently I work only 3 and 3/4 day per week. I pick up an extra day or two when I can. Swell works five days per week.

Going to Nome we would both receive an immediate 32% raise and I would be working more per week. 5 or 6 days a week. This will allow us to relax more on our weeks off. We would still be looking for fill-in work in and around wherever we happen to be (WA, OR, or GA maybe AB) but it wouldn't kill us if we only found a day or two here and there. This in turn would allow us to concentrate on other areas of our lives.

Selling our house.
Finding a practice.
Writing.
Etc.

Seems very exciting to me.

We're just waiting for a tentative schedule to be sent to us outlining the weeks they would like us to be there.

Projected first visit would be in February.

Brrrr.

I feel.

Well, I feel like I should be posting something here.

But I've got nothing.

Nothing going on in our lives.

No changes.

Very little word on Nome, although they have expressed interest in both of us. We're waiting to hear what the rate and the proposed schedule would be. If those both meet our wishes I think we'll probably go, although it would require quitting our jobs.

Jobs we don't like.

But breaking the news to the people I work with will be tough as they are very nice people.

We have to do what is best for us though. We like working together and we like adventure.

I'm sold.

Besides it will free up some vacation time.

Hawaii?
Florida?
Romania?

Anyone interested in a 975 sq foot one bedroom/1 bath/bonus room condo in the heart of downtown Decatur?

Will sell cheap.

Stoked.

I know that it seems like I've said this a million times but as of about 9:45 tonight it became official.

I will have my re-worked thesis published by August. The paper was accepted and is slated to run in August although it may come sooner.

I'm really, really stoked.

The Weekend That Was

I wrote the following over many hours (between patients, at lunch, after work, etc.) and after posting it and reading it, it barely makes sense and I'm too lazy to fix it. C'est la vie, non?

Swell’s parents are leaving early tomorrow morning. It was a nice visit. On Sunday we celebrated Christmas with games, a continuous finger food buffet, and gifts. On our Boxing Day (Monday) we went to the aquarium and someone (ME) made a fabulous dinner and more games were played.

On Tuesday it was Swell’s birthday.

Why is it that a description of my beautiful wife’s birthday requires me to write about a multi-national corporation’s public relations, public health work and a boss who takes advantage of me?

It is necessary because I’m a fool and December 4th is Home Town Day.

What is Home Town Day? Well, that would be a billion dollar multi-national corporation’s attempt to show the people it consistently rips off that it is a good corporate citizen.

Home Town Day is one prong of Luxotica’s four pronged blitzkrieg of preventable vision impairment.

Prong 1 is regular Gift of Sight exams. In the office I work at we do 1 exam a week for free. The individual also receives free glasses from Lenscrafters/Luxotica.

Prong 2 is the Vision Van. This is a motor home/truck dealie that is equipped with two exam lanes that is used to do “eye exams” on individuals in need who are then also given free glasses from a nearby Lenscrafters.

Prong 3 is Home Town Day where a number of hours are set aside to see many needy people who are then given free glasses from Lenscrafters/Luxotica.

Prong 4 is an abomination to all that is good and is known as the Gift of Sight international programs. A huge waste of money from a public health standpoint but never ending PR for the Luxotica family.

Flashback

6 weeks ago.

Bosssss Home Town Day is December 4. Can you volunteer and see some patients that day?
Me I am going to have to kindly decline due to philosophical difficulties I have with Home Town Day.
Bosssss OK. I was just hoping you’d help out.

Saturday December 1, 2007

Bossss I’m going to give you a project that you won’t get paid for and is really beyond the realm of what an independent contractor should really do because I don’t think you’ve been busy enough lately.
Me Ok. but if you think I’m actually going to do it you’ve got another think coming.
Bossss See you next week.

10 minutes pass

Worker Bossss is on the phone for you.

Me Hello?

Bossss Home Town Day is on Tuesday. Can you come in at 9 (an hour early) and help me out? I’ll be there at 8:30am and start everything you just come in at 9 and help out.

Me Ummmm…fine.

Tuesday, December 4

Walking into the store at exactly 9 am I realize that there are about 15 homeless people sitting in the waiting room with plates full of Christmas cookies and Chick Fil A chicken nuggets waiting to be seen for their free eye exams.

I head immediately to the back office to put my things down when I am told that there are people seated in the exam rooms ready to go.

Me Where is Bossss?
Office Manager He’s not here yet.

This is where I said a few choice things about: i) A waiting room full of people, ii) The fact that I said I didn’t want to do this weeks ago, and iii) Bossss not being at the office yet.

With those appropriately chosen words I went off to see my first patient.

You should know that when I see a waiting room full of people I have a physiological change. I become very tense, my heart rate increases, I begin to sweat a little and I have trouble breathing. Basically I have a mini panic attack. So when I said my choice words I was in that state.

After seeing a bunch of these good-for-nothing, lazy, unemployed, drunken homeless people the preceding was sarcasm for those that don’t know me Bossss took me aside to make sure that I wasn’t about to quit. Apparently office manager was upset with Bossss for not being on time. Bossss is habitually late and purposefully decided to come in late on Home Town Day due to his belief that homeless people will always show up late.

They didn’t.

He did.

I was mad at Bossss.

Office manager was mad at Bossss.

Bossss was mad at office manager as office manager let Bossss have it via multiple phone calls between 8:15 and 9:15. And a curt discussion in the office at 9:15.

I assured bossss that I wasn’t about to quit but I had in fact stated my displeasure to office manager. He was slightly taken aback but the three of us had a little sit-down and worked out our differences. Well until I'm forced to participate in the next Gift of Sight program that makes its way to our great office.

How can I be opposed to a program that gives free eye exams to needy people? This program is about getting as many people through the door as possible without impacting the day-to-day operations. That means they get 5 minute exams and a kick-in-the pants along with their Christmas cookies.

I don’t mind the weekly Gift of Sight patients as they get a regular exam slot. Home Town Day patients on the other hand…


So anyway I saw a bunch of needy folks and then the real patients started to come in at 10:30. With their arrival Bossss left for his day off. Within the onslaught of real patients a few Home Town Day stragglers also came in.

Due to Bossss’s lateness, and his early departure I ended up seeing more Home Town Day patients than he did.

All this despite my earlier declaration that I didn’t want to participate.

Oh well.

By the time 7 rolled around I had been working quite steadily since 9 that morning. I was tired and grumpy due to the circumstances surrounding the day and we still needed to go out for Swell’s birthday dinner.

Next year I’ll take the day off.

Upon the sight of Swell I cheered up and we were able to enjoy a nice dinner at Dante’s Down the Hatch (a cool divey-looking fondue place). I think her parents enjoyed it although her Dad was yelled at during the cheese-fondue appetizer. (He insisted on touching the pot despite being told not to by the girl in charge of keeping our flame lit. Boy could she light a flame! His touching the pot and breaking the rules caused great concern and the exclamation of Stop It! by the two ladies at our table. This in turn caused him to want to touch the pot some more… and the saga began.)

Following way too much food we drove to a local coffee/wine bar for birthday cake. Swell had the great idea of doing this rather than buying a cake because she knows I really don’t need to have left over cake in the house. We shared three pieces of cake between the four of us… well really two pieces between the three of us and an unnamed 50 something man had a piece mostly to himself. Which was the plan.

The evening ended with Swell receiving some birthday gifts. It was a nice birthday I think. She’s old now but still really cute.

Due to her birthday and our “Christmas celebration” our lists have been amended (we'll try to add more ideas if needed.)

Sheepie
Swell

Yippee!

Today is Swell's Birthday!

Happy Birthday Swell!

BND

So here it is, Buy Nothing Day, and I'm sitting in a mall.

A mall filled to the gills with shoppers straining under the weight of their purchases.

Loaded down (looking eerily like pack mules) looking to make their next purchase.

Looking to "save" more money!

It is Black Friday.

It is the busiest shopping day on the American consumer's calender. Credit cards are melting from the non-stop swiping. Consumer debt will continue to grow today as shoppers will find those things they must have.

They can't live without.

Their homes are already full but they will find more room for more stuff.

I just spent $3.

On Buy Nothing Day.

I'm mad.

But I showed up to work at the same time as another optometrist. He wasn't supposed to be there today but everybody forgot to tell him. So being the patsy I am I volunteered to come back in a few hours and we would split the day.

So I bought a cookie.

And a drink.

I had no where else to go.

And I sit in a mall on Buy Nothing Day and ponder all of the things I've purchased in my life.

All of the things I don't need.

Like this computer.

Although I use it I'm sure Swell and I don't each need one. Yet we both have computers and all of the associated computer paraphernalia that I needed.

Ipod? Check.
PSP? Check.
External hard drives? Check.

I shaved yesterday.

If you see pictures of me throughout my adulthood you'll see stark changes in my appearance.

The less I'm enjoying "life" the more homeless I let myself look. (I'll forgo telling the story of one of the proudest moments in my life. Most of you have heard the story of the concerned couple asking my sister if she knew me, and if she thought I needed a warm meal and a place to stay. Awesome!)

Its my pseudo-rebellion against the man. I may have to participate in Western society but I won't look the part.

After a few weeks of this I invariably realize how stupid I am and clean myself up a little (although I refuse to cut my hair more than twice a year. I HATE getting my hair cut).

Swell and I have both been unhappy with where we are. Money hates us.

More accurately knowing what to do with money is difficult for us.

Do we pay loans back more quickly?
Do we give more away?
Do we give money to distant poverty stricken relatives or spend money to send them stuff?
How much do we set aside to pay our taxes?
Are we going to go to jail because our tax situation is going to be a nightmare this year (thanks in no small part to our employers purposeful misuse of us as independent contractors)?

Furthermore, we have no strong desire to be optometrists. We have no passion for optometry, although we enjoy it. It isn't our lives. It doesn't give us a great deal of purpose in life although it is quickly consuming our entire lives.

Between Swell's hideous commute and our longish work days we've become the fabulous wake up-go to work-come home-eat-sleep duo.

No friends (me=Thank God, Swell=boo hoo).
No hobbies.
No family nearby.
No direction.

I think that's why this Nome opportunity is attractive to us. Its something different. It will break us out of our doldrum.

But it does nothing to further our lives.

It doesn't help us move forward.

We've done a lot of lateral movements in the five years we've been married. Hopping from thing to thing without any long term direction.

We're trying to gain that long-term direction by opening/buying our own practice but in our selfishness (that's not really the right word...) we don't want owning a practice to cramp our other opportunities. Its a catch 22. We can't continue to live here and work for others but we can't move anywhere else and work for others as we'll go broke.

So we'll devote our lives to owning a small business and this will make the pursuit of money (not necessarily in a bad way) become a central theme of our lives. We, after all, will have bills to pay, payroll to meet, etc.

This raises a whole bunch of other questions that is difficult for us to grapple with.

Do we open on Buy Nothing Day?
Will there be a market for an optometry practice dedicated to helping eradicate poverty, injustice, and inequity? (We plan on setting aside a certain percentage of income/profit? to give to yet to be determined NGOs. We will advertise (internally) this fact.)
Is it possible to find fair trade spectacle frames? Lenses?
Will we be able to pursue other interests outside of a small business without killing ourselves or the practice?

These and other questions weigh on our hearts and minds as we scrounge to survive a life we dislike. While we continue to work for money rather than enjoyment. While we continue to live lonely lives.

So in rebellion I became homely homeless looking.

What did that accomplish? Nothing. But it felt good to rebel.

We will continue our rebellion in our Christmas gift purchases.

We will continue our rebellion by refusing to participate in the busiest shopping day of the year (aside from my cookie and drink... I suck).

We will continue our rebellion by being small business owners who own a business that treats employees fairly and desires to leave lasting change in the world.

We will continue our rebellion by trying to forgo the trappings of wealth.

We will continue our rebellion by...?

Another Day

Happy American Thanksgiving

and don't freaking call it "Turkey Day" or I'll hunt you down and hurt you.

Why Not?

A portion of an email I found in my inbox a week ago is below:

Hello Fellow Optometrists:

Anyone interested in adventure and travel?

We have recently received a unique request for OD coverage in Nome, Alaska. Yes, that is way up North. The client is looking for someone to provide optometric coverage for a period of 11 days every 6 weeks through September 2008. They will pay airfare and provide housing. The housing is within walking distance of the facility.

My thought? Why not?

Will hear more later but it would be pretty cool to do this. We'll see if we can make it work or not.

Facts

To the tech who decided to walk into my office to tell me how to do my job:

Fact 1) It doesn't take me 30 minutes to realize that an 81 year old woman with complaints of decreased vision has cataracts.
Fact 2) I spent the majority of my time in the exam room explaining to the "little old lady" that she has cataracts and new glasses would do nothing but empty her wallet.
Fact 3) The "little old lady" did not want to listen to a word I said.
Fact 4) The "little old lady" wouldn't listen to reason. I know what I'm talking about. No matter what she says new glasses are not going to help. I don't care what she believes or thinks.
Fact 5) I am not going to make my next patient wait so that I can talk to the daughter of the "little old lady" without the "little old lady's" permission. Put them in a room and I'll get to them next.
Fact 6) Don't ever, ever tell me to explain things to people, especially "little old ladies", again. If you knew anything about me or my exam techniques you would know for a fact that I educate too much. I spend far too much time educating at the end of my exams. It puts me behind.
Fact 7) I couldn't care less if this "little old lady" wants to get a second opinion. More power to her. Don't throw that out like I did something wrong. She's a stubborn old mule masquerading as a "little old lady" who won't listen to reason. I am confident that her second opinion will cost her more money as she will pay for the exam and may wind up at some unscrupulous OD's office who will change her prescription and sell her useless glasses.
Fact 8) I know its hard to believe but in addition to my rugged good looks I have a brain and I know how to use it so you can rest assured I don't need you to tell me how to interact with patients or how to do my job.



Oh and I should add:

To the jackasses selling Christmas trees today.

Really? Are you serious?

Still doing little to nothing exciting in life.

It will soon be Swell's big 3-0.

Her folks are coming to help her celebrate. They will be here on the first.

On Swell's Birthday we'll probably go to a restaurant not far from where I work and then to a lounge downtown that spins and gives 360 degree views of Atlanta.

We'll also do our Xmas with her folks while they are here. We'll exchange gifts, have some sort of "Xmas meal", and play games. Unfortunately we only have a couple days off with them and we can't afford/are not able to take time off. It will be a jam packed visit but should be fun.

Looking into a unique part-time job opportunity. Will find out much more in the next few days but suffice it to say:

1) Employer pays airfare
2) Employer provides housing
3) Work 2 weeks every 2 months
4) Lasts until next September
5) Need warm clothes

I always jump at things that sound fun and exciting but this one would require a lot of things to fall into place to make it work.

We're looking forward to our time off at Christmas and our time in E'Town. It never seems like Christmas time around here. No snow. Warmish weather and nothing to excite us. Although this year, unlike last year, we'll be decorating our house for Christmas.

We didn't last year because we left the country shortly after Christmas. This year we'll decorate on Thanksgiving because we both work before and after.

I'm just sitting at one of my gigs doing nothing but feeling guilty as my "employer" is seeing patients and I'm doing nothing. Oh, well. Not my fault. If he wasn't busy enough to keep me busy he shouldn't have hired me.

I hope it gets busier so that I can keep this job at least.

The Internet is Pretty Cool

Not much going on in Atlanta these days. We're still working.

We're still breathing.

That's about all we're doing.

Although on Tuesday we were able to go to a hockey game for free. It was fun.

We saw the Atlanta Thrashers beat the Washington Capitols 2-1 in overtime. I'm not entirely sure how we got the tickets.

I know they were given to us by one of my employers. I know that he got them from a local Ophthalmologist. I don't know how the ophthalmologist got them.

Are they the practice's tickets that they give out to various optometrists as a thank-you for referrals?

Were they given to the ophthalmologist from a pharmaceutical company and then passed down the food chain?

Are they the ophthalmologists personal tickets and he just couldn't use them?

I don't know and I don't really care.

Swell and I were joined by the office manager and his friend as no-one else from the office could go. We were sitting directly across from one of the goal posts about 3 rows up from the glass. We had our own personal waiter although the food was not free.

Well it was but it wasn't.

As I reached for my wallet to pay for our hot dogs and drinks the office manager pulled out the company credit card and we ate for "free". Good times.

It made us want to go to more games because they're fun. We'll see if we actually pay for something though.

I don't like to pay for things.

I like free things.

Many of you will remember that before this incarnation of our "blog" we had a different one. We did not do a very good job at keeping that "blog" unidentifiable.

A few weeks ago a fellow Swell works with had the following exchange with her.

Swell: You're making me angry. Stop it. I'll figure it out.
Guy: If anyone should be angry it should be me! I read what you wrote on your blog.
Swell: What? What blog? We have three of them. What are you talking about?
Guy: You wrote it just before you left to go to Palestine.
Swell: Was what we wrote a lie? What are you talking about?
Guy: I could have said something about this when I first saw you but I bit my tongue...

aside. The funny thing is he may have bit his tongue then but he was waiting for a time to bring this up. It was eating at his very soul.

...I wouldn't say it was untrue but I would say that people have different opinions about things.

Swell: Well I don't know what you're talking about but I do know that I didn't write it. It was my husband.
Guy: I know it was your husband.
Swell: How did you get it.
Guy: Some one printed it off and gave it to me.

Someone PRINTED IT OFF AND GAVE IT TO HIM!

Swell: Who.
Guy: I'm not going to tell.

Now this is the funniest thing. Someone took the time to print off one of our posts and show it to him after we had departed Atlanta. His talking about this made us want to go back and read what we I wrote.

I stand by it, although it seems a little mean. When I apologized to Swell for getting her in trouble she didn't care. She stands by it as well. Hopefully, we have done a better job of keeping this one from being found by those we don't want to see it, although we continue to stand by whatever we've written here as well.

Here is a portion of what was written:

Person "1" is by far the most annoying. I'm thinking specifically of a guy named [his name was written here]... a co-worker of Swell's. Suffice it to say he is an ass. Not just about this but about everything he ever does. He's mean, arrogant, and cruel. The funny thing, to me, is that he has absolutely nothing to be arrogant about. He has a terrible job at which he does a terrible job. He has a miserable life - mostly thanks to himself - yet he treats everyone he meets with great contempt. He thought it necessary to scare Swell all day at work yesterday by saying BOOM . To get her "used to hearing the bombs". Luckily for Swell her work experience this year has been limited with this guy. She was very fortunate to be transferred out of his store. But by trying to scare Swell (in two ways at that) I nominate him for jack ass of the year. I am sure he will receive a plethora of votes. I think his saying that she should get used to hearing the bombs speaks loudly to his intelligence (read lack of).

Oops.

But Ha, Ha!

When reading this post over Swell and I began to wonder how we could go about saving all those posts for posterity's sake. I was searching the internet and found a program someone devised that would take every post we made and convert it to a PDF file along with all the comments people left.

He made the program to be used for free, although I did donate some money for his troubles. So we have saved all our posts but I'm currently trying to do it again because none of the pictures came through. If the pictures never come through I'm still really stoked that someone took the time to make this program for donations only. It's really cool and we're happy to have those 18 months saved.

So to the internet gurus out there I salute you.

My computer may not be long for this world as the monitor is having intermittent seizures. It will get all dark and then the monitor will begin to flash at a relatively rapid pace.

Maybe I'll get a free replacement?

Christmas list redux

Ok.

This is a post for family only. Why don't I email them? Because I don't have any family email addresses or regular addresses or phone numbers for that matter.

Presents from us will be limited for a variety of reasons including our my growing disdain for consumerism (so feel free to ignore my list altogether), our desire to move (and consequently strained budget), our inability to travel with 100 pounds of gifts (and the Canadian Government's desire to tax us on gifts we bring in).

Please budget your gift buying accordingly.

If you are even considering going into debt to buy us a gift we would, yet again, prefer to buy you a coffee and doughnut from Tim Horton's while we're there.

When looking at our lists please be advised that there are comments about the gift on some of our items. They will explain some of the reasoning behind our request.

Again. Nothing is often better than something. You are going to get closer to nothing than something from us and we expect (nay demand) tit for tat.

While we're on a "family only" post I'd like to wish my parents an enjoyable seeing animals being tortured week. We know you enjoy the rodeo every year and hope that this year the animals win at least some of the battles.

I'm just kidding about the animal torture. I really couldn't care less about what happens to those poor fuzzy little bulls/horses/sheep/goats/chickens/dogs/whatever

Works in progress...

We HATE doing this.

Hate with a passion.

Dislike.

It causes us great pain to do this.

But here they are. They will be updated when the mood strikes us.

We expect nothing. We hope for less.

Swell's
Sheepie's

Remember, remember the fifth of November

"Good evening, London.

Allow me first to apologize for this interruption. I do, like many of you, appreciate the comforts of every day routine- the security of the familiar, the tranquility of repetition. I enjoy them as much as any bloke. But in the spirit of commemoration, thereby those important events of the past usually associated with someone's death or the end of some awful bloody struggle, a celebration of a nice holiday, I thought we could mark this November the 5th, a day that is sadly no longer remembered, by taking some time out of our daily lives to sit down and have a little chat.

There are of course those who do not want us to speak. I suspect even now, orders are being shouted into telephones, and men with guns will soon be on their way. Why? Because while the truncheon may be used in lieu of conversation, words will always retain their power. Words offer the means to meaning, and for those who will listen, the enunciation of truth. And the truth is, there is something terribly wrong with this country, isn't there? Cruelty and injustice, intolerance and oppression. And where once you had the freedom to object, to think and speak as you saw fit, you now have censors and systems of surveillance coercing your conformity and soliciting your submission.

How did this happen? Who's to blame? Well certainly there are those more responsible than others, and they will be held accountable, but again truth be told, if you're looking for the guilty, you need only look into a mirror. I know why you did it. I know you were afraid. Who wouldn't be? War, terror, disease. There were a myriad of problems which conspired to corrupt your reason and rob you of your common sense...

...More than four hundred years ago a great citizen wished to embed the fifth of November forever in our memory. His hope was to remind the world that fairness, justice, and freedom are more than words, they are perspectives. So if you've seen nothing, if the crimes of this government remain unknown to you then I would suggest you allow the fifth of November to pass unmarked. But if you see what I see, if you feel as I feel, and if you would seek as I seek, then I ask you to stand beside me one year from tonight, outside the gates of Parliament, and together we shall give them a fifth of November that shall never, ever be forgot." - V (V for Vendetta)

Send money and new jobs*

Leave
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Depart: 7:24am Atlanta, GA
Arrive: 12:33pm Edmonton, Canada

Return
Friday, December 28, 2007
Depart: 12:25am Edmonton, Canada
Arrive: 9:40am Atlanta, GA

*Kidding about the money. Not so much about the jobs

Halloween for Cheapies

We live in a condo building.

140 units.

We are cheap.

We did wander the halls of all 6 floors tonight.

We did collect candy.



Yummy, yummy candy.

Road Trip

So Swell and I just got back from our very quick, very spontaneous road trip. I was doing what I do best, nothing, when I saw an itinerary on the internet for a meeting occurring a mere 464 miles from our home. The first order of business on this itinerary was a presentation by a particular man. When I saw that this man was part of this meeting I said: "Swell. We've got to go to Tampa."

Swell: "Why in the world would we go to Tampa?"

Me: "I've got to see a man, about a thing."

With that she said, "Let's go."

Plans were made. Plans being we'll leave on Saturday after work get there in time to see the man about the thing and then come home on Monday. Plans did not include finding a place to stay. That would be too much planning.

On Saturday I was busy at work. The busiest I've been in years. No lies. Upon leaving I looked at one of the opticians (who used to work with me at my old job) and said, "that was worse than DVW" which is saying a lot.

A whole lot.

I saw my 30 patients and by 7:30 we were on our way to Tampa.

Long story short we were in bed by 4 am after searching for a reasonably priced hotel nearish to where the man was going to be.

I was up at 7 and out the door by 7:45.

I sat nearby the meeting and when I heard the applause indicating that the man was done speaking I stood near the door.

Upon seeing him I did what any sane person would do.

I said: "Dr. Man, I drove from Atlanta last night to give you this." and I handed him my CV/resume.

And that my friends is the way one gets noticed.

He was slightly taken aback and spent the next 10 minutes or so talking to me before he had to run to the airport to catch his flight to...


...Atlanta.

Goshdarnit.

The rest of Sunday was spent sleeping, visiting with some others who were in Tampa for the meeting and then going out with Swell for one of the best dinners we've ever had.

Swell asked the front desk person at the hotel what was nearby in terms of a good place to eat. We could have stayed for the meeting's dinner but since we had already stolen lunch from them as well as snacks we didn't feel it in our best interest to steal a $60 pp dinner although we easily could have...

...and were encouraged to.

We just wanted to go out on our own.

The front desk lady directed us to go from Tampa (nearish to the airport) to a town called Clearwater where we ate at the Island Way Grill. It was really good.

We started with an appetizer called Frankie's Tuna roll which is a sushi-like dish that was fantastic. Per the menu it is "TUNA, CREAM CHEESE, GOBO, ASPARAGUS, AND CRAB, BATTERED AND TEMPURA FRIED". It was out of this world.

Then we were, much to our surprise, given very large salads with Rice Wine Vinaigrette. This, too was fantastic.

Then for our main courses we had Szechwan Pepper Crusted Tuna. Which was recommended by the waiter to be prepared raw. It was served with wasabi mashed potatoes and sauteed Asian greens. We also got Macadamia Nut Crusted Mahi Mahi. It, too, came with the wasabi mashed potatoes. Notice I said "we got" because we shared each. I ate half of the tuna while Swell ate half of the Mahi-Mahi and then we switched. Portions were huge. Too big. We couldn't finish either.

It was a nice night. We were sitting near the water (although it was just a marina it was nice) on a large patio. It was nice to get away from Atlanta. We decided we have to do it more often.

Then funny thing about being in Tampa - funnier than driving all the way there just to give someone my resume - was that I felt a strange twinge of guilt.

You know that feeling you get when you pass near or through a city where you know someone and you feel like you should at least give them a call to say "Hi"? Well we "know" someone who lives in Tampa and thought about looking them up on Monday morning but didn't. So as we left town on a disappointingly rainy Monday we felt a small twinge of guilt for not at least dropping some cookies off at this person's work place.

What's funny about this?

We've never met this person in real life.

We only know of them via the internet.

Yet we felt like we should say "Hi" because we were in the area.

That really would have taken my stalking to a whole new level. Pounce on someone unannounced as they leave a meeting just to hand them a resume and then show up at a person's work cookies in hand that we've never really met.

Maybe its good that we didn't.

Livid

So my column was put online yesterday. I still haven't received my hard copy. If the online version is the same as the published version I am livid.

It is not what I wrote. I never agreed to have my name associated with this version. It has blatant errors in it! I will soon see if the published one is the same as the online one.

See the online one here

My version is below:

A Mission for Vision

Teaching or training optometry to those less fortunate has a far greater impact than providing direct care.

Sheepie O.D., M.P.H., Atlanta, Ga.

A look of sheer terror crossed my wife Swell’s face, as we heard the unmistakable sound of gunfire nearby. As all five passengers in the dilapidated van ducked for cover, I couldn’t help but think, “What have I gotten us into?”
Swell (also an optometrist) and I were returning to our flat in the beautiful, mountainous Palestinian city of Nablus after a full day of orientation meetings at An-Najah National University in the West Bank.

Vision camp flashback
In the few moments between hearing the gunfire and regaining my composure, I flashed back to my first trip to the occupied territories. It was the summer of 1999 and I had just finished my first year of optometry school.
I was in Palestine to provide eye care to the local population as a part of the Pacific University College of Optometry Amigos EyeCare group. Despite having made advance contact with our Palestinian hosts, once we arrived in the Gaza strip, local government officials told us our services were not welcome. These officials said the Palestinian people would find ways to take care of their own vision needs. After some pleading from our team leaders and our local hosts, however, the government officials relented, permitting us to provide care to a population they would select: grade-school children.

For the remainder of our trip, however, the statement, “the Palestinian people would find ways to take care of their own vision needs,” reverberated in my mind. Yes, our camp was able to treat many individuals, but we did nothing to create an infrastructure or human resources. I, therefore, felt the impact we made was temporary at best. After all, once we departed, so did the community’s opportunity for eye care.

The right to sight
Earlier in 1999, the World Health Organization (WHO), the International Agency for the Prevention of Blindness (IAPB) and other organizations concerned with global blindness, such as the International Council of Ophthalmology (ICO) developed VISION 2020: The Right to Sight. This global initiative calls for local human resource and infrastructure development in developing countries to combat preventable blindness by the year 2020.
Because of my concern regarding the long-term benefit and sustainability of care that came from my vision-camp experience, I was eager to put the principles of VISION 2020 into action in Palestine. So, when I discovered that An-Najah University was seeking foreign O.D.s to teach optometry, I convinced my wife to join me in Palestine for the spring 2007 semester.

A yearn to learn
Swell and I spent 16 weeks teaching various optometric courses, and we were thrilled with our bright young students. They earn their Bachelor of Science degree in Optometry while taking all classes in English. Due to procurement difficulties the entire faculty was without optometric equipment until just before our arrival yet the students were well prepared to pick up the equipment and begin to fine tune their finger skills. Despite a lack of previous teaching experience, we found teaching optometry came very easily. We were, after all, simply teaching what we do and see as clinical optometrists.
The program at An-Najah will produce optometrists skilled in all aspects of vision care including “medical optometry.” In May 2008, the first graduating class of Palestinian optometrists will receive their degrees. This will enable them to meet the vision-care needs of Palestinians for many years to come through constant direct service as a result of their optometric education and by acting as optometric educators.
The gunshots we heard on our first day turned out to come from a young policeman firing his rifle into the air. Perhaps he was acting as our unofficial welcome wagon, thanking us for trying to leave a lasting impact on the visual health needs of the Palestinian people. OM


If you're really in a reading mood you can Read this as well

The weekend is coming

Swell's Mum arrives for a visit early tomorrow morning. Sometime around 6 am we need to be at the airport to pick her up, then its off to our respective places of business. She will leave bright and early Tuesday morning - I think.

Swell faxed a contract and a payment to the consulting company I wrote about earlier. That means we're on our way to moving - somewhere - and owning a practice.

We're very excited. Although I'm hesitant to get terribly excited because there are other things we want to be able to do that could take a back seat with the stresses and demands of being business owners.

I'm a professional author... officially.

My column will be published in Optometric Management this month's issue (i.e. it is in the mail now). I will be paid for its inclusion in the journal.

My collaboration article is in November's issue of Clinical and Experimental Optometry which will be out soon. (I've seen the final version as it will appear in the Journal. Very exciting.)

My written all by lonesome article has passed one of two reviewers' second review but I have not yet heard back from the second second reviewer.

I am working on analyzing some silly data that we collected while in Nablus that Swell and I will turn into a paper soon after.

Upon receipt of the contract for my Optometric Management column I was reminded that they are always looking for "good" writers. I suggested a series of articles that I would write that would track our opening of our practice. Discussions on choosing a location. Choosing whether to buy or open cold. Decisions on what insurance to take, etc. The idea is being passed along so I may have some more writing to do. I'm already doing a very silly version of those articles on a secret blog that you're not allowed to see so it would just be taking those ideas and making them more serious and thoughtful. Fun to think that I may be able to write some serious public health things and then some more generic optometry things.

Things are really good around here. We spent a small fortune getting some paintings framed. They turned out awesome. We've framed 5 paintings (Two from Egypt, two from Moldova, and one from South Africa). A sixth (from South Africa) was simply stretched onto a frame.

The Moldova ones (which were sitting in a book for 7 years) are my favourite although the others look really, really good as well.

Sorry so boring but we really haven't been up to much lately. I think we're going to head down to Florida next weekend for Sunday as we want to get away for a bit and there are some folks we wouldn't mind saying "hi" to. I also want to give a small gift to the outgoing president of the main optometry group that provides volunteer services in developing countries. They are having their annual meeting a week from Sunday in Florida (we went last year). I want to give her a gift for being such an understanding and kind person despite the recent "attacks" on her organization's methods.

Thats it. More later.

I can't believe I get paid.

Today was, as was last Wednesday, my easy and guilty day.

I got paid - well - to see one patient. The rest of the day I just sat around doing nothing.

Nothing.

This particular practice depends upon insurance to draw patients in. I am in the process of being credentialed on the main insurances they take.

In the process means I am unable to see many of the patients as we wouldn't be reimbursed by their insurance company. So I sit.

And do nothing.

And get paid.

I feel quite guilty but they could have phoned and said: "Don't come in" but they didn't. So I did.

I am keeping up relatively well with my workouts.

I am following a training guide and do quite well with it. I didn't do my long run last Sunday so I'm repeating that week. Yesterday I upped my pace from the sloth-enly pace of 10:30 minutes/mile to the slightly more swift 10:00 min/mile and it actually felt better.

I missed last Sunday's long run because I was cooking with Swell.

We attend a bible study (Financial Peace by Dave Ramsey) immediately following church on Sundays. Church starts at 5:30pm and our bible study (not really at all a study of the bible...) ends at around 9:00 pm. This doesn't bode well for people's consumption of supper so one couple or two singles bring food for the group each week.

This week was our turn. Swell bristled at my suggestion of fruit roll-ups, chips, and doughnuts. She wanted to impress people (real Christianly, no?). So on Sunday, we cooked.

Swell We decided on chiftele, potato salad, tomato/cucumber/feta cheese salad, bread and confetti squares for desert.

Chiftele is a typical Romanian dish.

Meat mixed with more meat with a dash of meat for good measure.

Sunday morning found us at the local Farmer's market (Your Dekalb Farmer's Market - Mine? I didn't even ask for it!) buying ground beef (3 pounds), ground turkey (1 pound) and ground pork (1 pound).

I told you it was meaty.

In addition to these meats (of which we used all the turkey, pork and 2.5 pounds of the beef) mashed potatoes were added along with egg, seasonings, and bread crumbs.

The meats were mixed expertly by your's truly made into balls squished into patties and then fried.

I did a fantabulous job on the meat and meat by-products while Swell made the potato salad.

As a former vegetarian I was simultaneously revolted and intrigued.

Despite a late start to bible study and another couple bringing a dish (poor communication in our group - our leader wasn't there this week [it's a video series] and he neglected to inform them that we had volunteered to bring the meal this week) oh well.

They were sufficiently impressed and Swell beamed appropriately.

ASIDE:

For goodness sake if someone doesn't tell this ignorant hick family to stop yelling at each other sometime soon I may have to scream. Furthermore if the mother doesn't stop telling her kid he's wrong about why we celebrate Thanksgiving by telling him that it is the day the Mayflower landed I'll go over there take their youngest, screamingist child and beat them each with her.

/ASIDE

It was declared that we made the best meal yet and that we should just be left in charge of the food.

Now if Swell would only cook for me.

Tomorrow is my day off. Swell works. I don't. Life is good. Thanks for asking.

We haven't updated in a few days. Not because we don't love you, simply because we have nothing to say.

Nothing ground breaking to talk about.

Nothing exciting going on in our lives.

We're just existing.

Working.

Sleeping.

Dying a little on the inside every day.

Our time in Atlanta has to come to a close sooner, rather than later.

JDL and The Good One can testify to this. They are the ones who, if they were paying attention (unlikely), saw Swell crying up a storm on the shuttle from our hotel in Vegas to the airport.

She's tired of being alone in the big city.

Tired of missing out on all the good things life has to offer.

Decatur is great. Our condo is great but 3000 miles away from closest family is not. We can't leave Atlanta without new jobs in our new city. Even with new jobs we will be taking up to a 30% pay cut just by leaving the Southeast and heading to the Pacific Northwest. That is not something we can take lightly. An excess of optometrists leads to low wages. Three new optometry schools being opened in the next 5 years will drive wages down even further. While those that know me know that I'm not a money kind of guy I do have 6 figure student loans to pay back and I can't do that making minimum wage. We'll have to find something with guaranteed cash flow in a city with a relatively low cost of living. We'll see.

I'm on my Saturday lunch break again. Had 13 patient encounters in my three before lunch hours. Will have an equally busy afternoon and I'll then be exhausted until tomorrow. Swell must be busy selling glasses (She rarely sees patients but is expected to work the floor when not busy *roll eyes* as I've haven't heard from her all morning.)

I joined the American Public Health Association and they send me a monthly Journal with public health articles in them. The first one I read was quite interesting. It outlined the history of the availability of birth control through insurances.

Basically saying that through the history of birth control very few insurance companies are/were willing to pay for contraception despite the obvious cost savings they would have if women were able to plan their pregnancies.

This lack of coverage regained attention with the development of Viagra as it was quickly put on most insurance companies' covered drugs whereas many still refuse to cover contraception.

A strange contradiction. But to me shows the importance that western society places on Women's health, which is...

...it doesn't.

Today is my easy day.

Today is, therefore, also my guilty day.

It’s 9:30 am as I type this.

I’m at work.

My first patient is at 3:00 pm.

Easy and guilty.

So needless to say we’re back. We had a great time in Vegas which is always surprising to me as we don’t drink. At all. And we gamble very little. (Does throwing $20 in the penny slots constitute gambling?)

Vegas is a good time to people watch, see the sights, and eat too much. It was nice to have some visitors from Edmonton come down and spend some time with us. It was somewhat nice to be at an optometry conference although most of our education was dull. Swell was very keen on collecting free things from the vendors displaying their wares. She didn’t care if it was a pen, a balloon, a bag, or a piece of paper. If it was free it was snatched up by Swell.

Most of it will find its way to Romania.

It will cost more to mail it then it did to manufacture it.

The most exciting part of our trip was when I nearly won $30,000. One of the vendors at the show was giving away a two year lease on a Lexus Hybrid or $30,000. Knowing that money is far superior to a Lexus I would have chosen the money. They were giving away the car/money through a basic raffle.

They collected raffle cards every day. At the end of every day they drew 10 names. Those 10 people would be in the running for the car/money. You had to be present at the time of the drawing to win/get entered in the finals.

Day 1- We were unaware of the raffle and did not enter
Day 2 – We entered but did not have our names drawn
Day 3 – Swell didn’t want to hang out until the time of the drawing. She just wanted to leave. I insisted. Lo and behold my name was drawn. I was in the Semi-finals!

I now had a 1 in 30 chance of winning $30,000…

They actually changed the rules slightly and said they would now draw five names out of the 30 (actually 28 as 2 people didn’t show for the final drawing!?) and those five would have the chance to win the car/money.

My name was not drawn to be a member of the finals.

So I missed out on the money. Boo hoo.

While in Vegas we also went and saw Matsuri which is a great Japanese acrobatic/gymnastic/dance show. It was a lot of fun.

Other than that we wandered, laughed at people and ate too much food.

Swell and I also made an appointment to speak with a consulting group who will help us find a location to open a practice and give us business insight that we don’t currently have.

Very expensive but will be worthwhile. We will pay them a small amount in the next month or so and that will get us advice on where and how to open/buy a practice. When we buy or come closer to buying a practice we will fly down to their headquarters and go through business boot camp, we will then open and they will provide 6 months of support.

We’re both excited about this program as neither of us have any business skills and that was causing some concern when it came to working for ourselves.


Tomorrow, Thursday, October 11 is World Sight Day.

314 million people in the world are estimated to be visually impaired – with 45 million of them blind. 153 million are visually impaired due to uncorrected distance refractive error (need for glasses to see in the distance) and millions more are affected by uncorrected presbyopia (need for reading glasses). Optometry Giving Sight is an organization that collects money to be used to deliver eye care services and develop human resources and infrastructure.

Imagine going through life with decreased vision simply because you have no access to eye care and/or spectacles.

Consider helping to eliminate avoidable blindness/visual impairment by supporting Optometry Giving Sight on World Sight Day!

How can it be?

2 hour delay of a red eye flight + waiting for luggage + having to take the train home + having to be at work by 10 am + only 3 hours of airplane sleep over the past 36 hours = me being very tired.

Sooo tired.

Tired.

On to more important things. How can it be October already? On top of that How can it be Thanksgiving already?

I don't know but it is so...

Happy Canadian Thanksgiving!!!

I guess we'll make it a tradition...

It is Saturday. Obviously.

I am on my lunch break.

I am tired.

So tired.

Busyish morning. 8 exams and 1 follow up.

Busy afternoon coming up in a mere 30 minutes or so.

Swell must also be busy as she hasn't called/texted me back.

Swell has some good stories to tell but she isn't keen on telling them to you. They involve her being patronized, abused, and all around taken advantage of. Basically stories of being a young woman optometrist.

We've been attending church again. We hadn't gone in about a year (due in large part to living in a predominantly Islamic country).

Its been good. One thing I like about Veritas church is that they are socially aware and somewhat socially active. They will once again collect food for the food bank by going door to door in their communities. (We did our entire condo unit a couple of years ago and got a lot of food but will be away during this year's drive). They are also trying to become active in "Not for Sale" an anti-human trafficking group. Atlanta is the leading city in the US for human trafficking. Not a great distinction.

Swell and I are going to go to a movie tonight called Trade as a percentage of the first week's box office receipts will go to some groups involved in ending human trafficking. We were encouraged to go by the pastor of the church so we'll follow his suggestion. The movie only has a limited release this week so it may not be showing in your town.

In addition to being socially aware they are a young church (both the church and the members) and seem to want to do more than just preach at people. They want to help people.

We've been attending a financial "bible study" after church. Little bothers me more than a group of Christians getting together and talking about money. I know that we aren't the best with our money and that we could do more. We try to give a lot away between World Vision, Swell's family, Medical Teams International and our church but we don't do as much as we should/could.

But when the premise of the study is the building of wealth I just get irked a little. While there is nothing wrong with money the very first lesson in any Xian bible study, as far as I'm concerned, should be to consume less. To spend less. To be concerned about how our money is spent and where it goes. Instead the lessons are simply don't go into debt, rather save for the things you want. As Xians we should be called to watch our wants carefully. I'm very bad at this. I have too much. I should feel guilty about all the things that I have. I don't need it all. We should be encouraged to sacrifice multiple TVs. Multiple cars.

We should question the need of a bigger house when we really have very big houses to begin with.

Anyway. We'll keep going as we need to learn about investments, etc. But I'll fume a little bit every session.

Well its almost time to go back to work.

*sigh.

Happy Ameriversary!

So 20 years ago today Swell, her Mum and her Dad fled communism in Romania and wound up in Vancouver, Washington.

I, for one, appreciate their moving to the US.

So to them a Happy 20th Ameriversary.



And to my parents a Happy "some number that I have no idea what it is" Anniversary - tomorrow (?).

Dude...

To the dude in the red shirt and the blue shorts working out in the gym today.

Look dude, you're going to hurt yourself.

Calm down.

Lift less weight.

It does you no good to have to use such poor form to lift weights for 15 minutes.

You're going to give yourself a hernia. I will laugh when I discover you writhing in pain in the gym.


Open invitation: Party in Vegas from October 3 to the 7th. All are welcome!

You know what really grinds my gears?

To steal a phrase from the infamous Peter Griffin - you know what really grinds my gears?

Yes this will be a rambling self-involved post of little to no interest for those who are not, well, me.

I'm sitting here on my "lunch" break.

At the mall - yes, much like CWH, this grinds my gears but isn't the reason for this post - at Panera using their internet.

One thing that grinds my gears is that I'm sitting at Panera at "lunch" and it is only 1:00. Remember a previous post that indicated my start time? I start work at 10 am and end at 7. Why the heck is my lunch 3 hours after I start? Furthermore, why in the world do I have to work for 5 hours after lunch. My preference, not that anyone cares, is to work more hours before lunch and fewer after lunch. I hate going back to work after lunch.

Its like when I was in track. I hated the rest lap between intervals. It made the start of the next interval more difficult.

Its also like going to a show. I hated the part of the set where the band felt it necessary to talk and then play slow songs. It made me so tired that when they played fast songs again I couldn't "dance" anymore.

I guess I should count it lucky that I get lunch. At DVW it was a 10 hour work day with NO lunch. Insert roll eyes here.

It also grinds my gears that this morning I only saw 5 exams and an office visit and this afternoon I have a million people scheduled. Some of the times I have three scheduled for the same time. Sure some probably won't show but I prefer a perfectly symmetrical schedule. We as optometrists are too concerned, probably due to the levels of competition out there, that people won't come see us if we don't bend to their every fancy. We, therefore, ask "when do you want to come in?" rather than saying "we can see you at this time".

So this afternoon I'll be running around like the proverbial chicken with its head cut off - which is really quite the sight, not me, the chicken. I encourage everyone to see, at least once in their life, a chicken with its head cut off. At least it will make the afternoon go quickly.

My gears were further ground by the fact that yet again I needed to refer someone out of the office for something stupid. When you work the types of jobs I do the type of equipment at your disposal is very limited. I saw a fine chap for an exam this morning and between the looks of his optic nerve heads and his results on a very rudimentary visual field test I was slightly concerned that he might have glaucoma.

Now note I said slightly concerned. When you don't have equipment on hand and you are slightly concerned about something a great debate begins. Do I really want to refer this person out of the office for something that will probably be ok? If I had the equipment it would be so easy just to say we need to run these tests. Now it is explain the problem, explain the tests, explain why I think its important for them to go. Hope that they go, hope that the doctor sends a note back, hope that the doctor doesn't think me a fool for being even slightly concerned.

Oh well. I figure if you're having the debate you might as well send the patient out.

It will be nice to work at a practice that has at least some basic "non-prescription finding" equipment at my disposal. It will be even nicer if I could get paid to use it (that is an insurance rant that you Canadians just wouldn't understand).

My gears are still being ground by the fact that the Canadian dollar is nearly on par with the US dollar. I paid much of my optometry school tuition in Canadian dollars while the Canadian dollar was at record lows. When I started school it was at about 63 cents on the dollar. For my four years of school it ranged from 63 to 68 cents. So every dollar I borrowed I was only getting 60 some cents of goods and services.

I figured by staying in the US and earning US dollars paying back the Canadian loans wouldn't be a big deal. For every dollar I earned I would be able to pay back $1.54.

Wrong.

For every dollar I earn now I can pay $1 back. Do the math. I'm losing my shirt.

I blame Bush whether its his fault or not.

I should mention what I got for my birthday because some of you are curious.

I haven't actually spent my birthday money (received from my parents and parents-in-law) but the plan is to buy Corner Gas Season 4 (season one will soon be shown on TBS for those in the US who want to see what its all about - check your local listings) and a better zoom lens for my camera.

After I buy said lens I'll have a cheaper version of the lens for sale to anyone interested in a Canon compatible 70-300 mm lens with macro. Will sell cheap.

Oh! One last piece of sad news. The chairs that have been in my family for over 30 years are no longer members of our family. I asked a million times, a million people in the family if they wanted them and nobody jumped at the opportunity. Our place is far too small for 6 dining room chairs and a dining room table so we got rid of them. They are now for sale at a Goodwill somewhere in the greater Atlanta area.

Long live the chairs.

Odds and Ends, Bits and Pieces

This post will be very uninteresting, unless you know us and want to know the mundane details of our lives. If you know us a little and are looking for excitement you'll have to go elsewhere. Ever since our return to the US our lives have become more and more normal.

No more gunshots. No more snow days. No more feeling proud-but-not-in-an-obnoxious-way of what we were accomplishing - or not accomplishing.

Normalcy has returned.

I'm not taking it well.

Our days consist of some combination of the following.

Wake up to the shrill sound of the alarm.
Drive to work.
Work.
Drive home.
Realize that its 8pm and we don't feel like cooking.
Go out.
Come home.
Go to sleep.

It isn't an exciting life but it is our lives now. We work really crappy hours. Most days we start at 10 and work until 7. Not really banker's hours are they.

In some ways the late start and late finish are good. It does decrease the amount of traffic that we need to deal with. Traffic is still a nightmare but it isn't as bad as it could be.

We were out for a walk the other night. I don't remember why we were out for a walk but we were out for a walk. We walked by the store front that used to contain our Cold Stone Creamery. Note the use of the words used to contain. At some point during our time away they closed our Cold Stone and tore out all the ice cream goodness. It is being replaced by a jewelry store.

Oh the humanity! We were bitterly disappointed. No longer can we walk for 2 minutes and get our fill of yummy ice cream. They closed the store! We only had the desire for Cold Stone maybe once or twice a year. Perhaps thats why they closed down.

We don't like change. It was a sad day.

Other changes in our neighbourhood have been good. They finally finished the construction on Decatur Square and it is once again a big and lively place. They had a book festival on the square a few weeks ago and it was nice to see people sitting on the square again.

Some more bad changes were the loss of our Indian store beneath our condos and its replacement by Verizon Wireless. We went from being able to buy goods made in India by Indians to being able to buy cell phones. How often does one need a cell phone? Besides, we don't even use Verizon. Very disappointing.

When we were considering buying our place the store fronts had yet to be sold. We were promised a variety of restaurants and other hip and happening things. The reality (from right to left) is:
A cigar store (often very stinky)
A real estate agency (Morris and Raper Intown. RAPER!!!)
An overpriced hair salon (called Oh. La La. Note the spelling. I'm sure they meant Oooh La La.)
Verizon Wireless (as mentioned above)
A Mortgage company (A MORTGAGE COMPANY! What kind of mortgage company wants their offices in a store front?)
A nail salon. (Viet Tradition Nails or Viet Traditional Nails depending on which sign you read.)

We won the lottery on those businesses. Very disappointing.

So being back in Atlanta and dealing with newly mundane lives we've set out some goals.

Most are mine because Swell is perfect.

1 Year - 2 years.
Buy an optometry practice for Swell somewhere not in Southeast USA
Find me a public health type job not in Southeast USA

1 Year
Fix my bus (Body work, paint, interior, windows)
Me: Collect enough points to take my oral exam for Fellowship.

6 months
Start saving for retirement
Have enough money to go to Romania this summer
Me: Lose 30 pounds via exercise (I've started this already and have gotten to the stage where I feel guilty if I don't exercise - which is good), eating better (not going very well considering I'm sitting in Panera right now), and so on.

4 months
Me: Write two more papers and submit them for publication
Write a presentation for a conference in London taking place in April

Pretty boring goals. Hopefully within the next year or so we can finally decide where we want to live and what we want to do.

We'll see.

For now we're looking forward to going to Vegas, although some people still owe us A LOT of money for this trip and they seem to be ducking us every day. Enjoy sleeping on the street unnamed people.

He's Already a Disaster

So my 4:15pm patient and his mother show up at around 4:45pm today. I wasn't terribly bothered because it wasn't a full exam, I had a slow afternoon, and the mother screamed as she walked in the door: "We're late. Sorry. We completely forgot about the appointment and then when we remembered we rushed right over."

I took them back to the exam room and said: "So wuz up?" Nah. I really said "What can I do for you today?" As the kid had just had an exam a couple of months ago.

(Earlier in the day I came this close to saying: "Come back after you see your retinitis pigmentosa dude." but caught myself just in time and said, "come back after you see your retinitis pigmentosa duuu..doctor." Now for all of the optometrists who might read this don't roll your eyes at me. I don't know why she sees an RP dude. She just does. I'm not gonna steal patients.)

Anyway back to the kid.

I sit in my chair face the kid and ask "What can I do for you today." All of a sudden I hear a whirlwind of chatter from behind my back as the mother speaks a mile a minute about his eyes this and his contact lenses that. This kid is like 15 and Mum didn't even let him have a chance to answer. So she talks and talks. When she finishes I turn back to the kid and say, "So Jim (not his real name) what do you have to say?"

I hate it when the "guest" in the exam room talks for the patient. It bothers me so much.

Anyway it turns out that his contact lenses feel dry... or he has a tick from his ADHD... or its from his medicine for his ADHD because they just upped his meds. This started the first of many arguments between patient and Mum. He tells me that he has no idea what she is talking about. That his lenses are fine. That she made his physician up his meds and that they make him feel weird and so on and so forth.

Mum yells at patient that he just started his new meds a few days ago. He yells back. I sit and stare at my chart.

I end up changing his contact lenses because, in my humble opinion, he was in crappy contact lenses. We go back to the room so I can look at them as the patient complains that the lenses feel terrible.

He then proceeds to say that there was nothing wrong with his old lenses to which Mum yells then why were you rubbing your eyes so much, blinking so much, why did your teachers complain so much. And so on and so forth.

They continue to yell at each other while I look dumbly at the chart. Eventually they tire out and I ask the kid "Now that we've had a chance to talk about other things how do the lenses feel?"

Kid: "Oh. They actually feel very good. Much better than the other ones."

They argue some more.

Then Mum turns to me and says: "He just started his freshman year (Grade 9 for you Canadians)and they've only been in school for four weeks and he is already a disaster."

My heart breaks for the kid. His mum just called him a disaster. He is obviously socially awkward. I am sure that school isn't much fun for him. He probably has a few friends and they try to hide their days away in high school and here she is calling him a disaster.

What can you say? I just said, "You're not a disaster. I think these contact lenses will work much better for you."

What goes through parent's minds? Calling your kid a disaster! So sad.

Miserable day made better by...

So today was kind of a miserable day. One of those days made miserable simply because it was miserable. Nothing specific to make the day miserable other than the sun rising in the morning.

I took yet another extra day of work this week making my week go from 1 day of work to 4 days of work overnight. This is very good as, again, we need the money and I shouldn't be lazing around so much.

So today was the first of two days at a new place of work. I signed up with a company that provides "fill-in" optometric services. That means that if you own/lease a practice and need/want time off but don't want to close down the exam side of your practice you can phone this company and request fill-in coverage.

The company then phones optometrists on their list hoping that someone is available to fill-in.

Turns out someone had very last minute needs due to a death in the family and I was available. So lo and behold I worked today and will work tomorrow a few miles from where Swell worked today and will work tomorrow. Very convenient for us.

I wasn't entirely impressed with the location I was at today. Just wasn't a great place to be. I'll admit that when it comes to seeing patients I am lazy. Well, that isn't entirely true. If the book is fully scheduled when I get there I'm fine. Its when the book is empty (today had 4 people scheduled) and the day ends up being relatively busy that I get kind of angry.

I was told this am that it wasn't going to be busy and that they rarely get walkins. A 10 person day isn't that busy but when 6 of them are walk ins that you were promised wouldn't come...

It is also somewhat difficult to work at a new place and learn new forms. Learn what kind of contact lenses they have. Try to fit your practice style with the practice's rules and regulations. Learn where things are, etc.

It makes for a harder day than it needs to be.

Tomorrow I'll be in the same place and I have 9 patients scheduled.

7 of them before noon...

I start at 10.

Yippee!

To fill you in on some other goings on in our lives. I received the expected email back from Australia. I was disappointed but it was expected.

"Our client (the job was posted through a recruiting company)is looking for someone with more experience." The recruiter did say that my CV was well written. I think she said it like you would say; "Beautiful colouring!" to a two year old with a box of crayons and a completely green picture of the sweet baby Jesus lying in a manger.

We have yet to meet with a financial planner. I've left that in Swell's hands... I'll take over when I'm done my paper.

We are going to have our picture published in the upcoming issue of Pacific University's Alumni magazine. They tracked us down on Myspace (N. is a friend of the Pacific Boxer's myspace page) and said their next issue was going to be about Pacific Alumni out in the world. They asked for pictures with international flair. It will either be a picture of me, Swell and Moses in front of a pyramid in Egypt or a picture of Swell on a camel in Jericho. They were going to choose whichever one fit their magazine better. We'll be famous!

So my miserable day was made better how? Well after work we went to a nearby mall for dinner as if we were to leave immediately following work we would be in traffic for 60-90 minutes.

We live 10 miles away.

We decided that our time would be better spent getting something to eat and of course looking for things to send to Romania.

Well at this mall, and I don't mean to be crude, Swell and I saw some sights.

Now most of you know that I am as far from a mall person as they come. I hate the mall. I hate what it stands for and I hate the people that go to malls.

This mall is actually where I work at Lenscrafters a few days a week. (Only on Saturday this week). And it is a young people, see and be seen mall. (Usher was there today. Who is Usher?


No, I'm asking you. Who is Usher? Well he was at Macy's for an event promoting his new perfume/cologne. Apparently Usher requires 10 armed policemen where ever he goes.)

Usher isn't the point. When we walked into the mall we headed directly for the down escalator. We were going down and Breasty McBreasts Alot was coming up.

Ladies. If you are well endowed there is no reason to buy a bra that shoves your ginormous breasts toward the heavens. If you choose to buy a bra that enables the heavenly hosts to get a better view please don't wear a scoop neck shirt.

If you choose to wear the bra that makes your breasts touch your ears while wearing a scoop neck shirt please don't go up the escalator while I go down the other side. You'll hurt my eyes.

No, not by what I see. You'll literally hurt my eyes as your gigantic breasts that have been pushed so far up your body that they somehow defy the very law of gravity slap me in the face as we go by each other.

As we saw this sight - one of the eight wonder (whys) of the world - Swell kept muttering: "Look away, look away" as if chanting a protective spell over our soon to be breast beaten bodies. Soon after passing this sight we made it to where we going to eat.

I see a second sight. A sight worse than the first. Here is a young woman her punkness shining so brightly that it was startling. It is fine with me if you want to have a lot of tattoos. Doesn't bother me. Fine also if you choose to have multiple piercings although having four below your bottom lip is slightly startling.

But the punk fashion should be approached with great caution. Try to avoid the scoop neck shirt with the push up bra that must be a few sizes too small.

If you choose to ignore this advice your endowment will be unprotected from the world and it will take on a shape that is not becoming. If your "lovely lady lumps" take on this sine wave shape due to your choice in attire and you are sitting at a low table leaning over flirting with the poor fool sitting across from you, you will look beyond silly. In fact it will look like you have bags under your eyes. Large, large bags. In addition you will not be able to see your plate of food.

You will starve.

But you will make a miserable day better because I can laugh at you.

One final word of advice.

LOOK IN A MIRROR!

Pictures from Swell

Swell wanted me to tell you about some pictures that she put up on the internet.

I told her to put up fewer pics but...

Crazy millions of pictures

Entertain You?

Entertain you? Entertain you? Entertain you?

No.

You heard me. No.

I will not entertain you. I will not entertain you because I'm tired, I'm busy and I'm not happy.

As I said earlier (if you were paying attention) I've been writing some papers and have been hit with some deadlines.

I wrote one which will be published very soon (next month?) and I was consistently emailing back and forth with the editor. It is a simple one page "story" about our time away. I never would have guessed a one page story would be so much work.

So. Much. Work.

I'll take a picture of the published paper when I receive it.

I've also been revising a paper I wrote while in Nablus. I think I wrote about getting the paper back with some comments calling for revisions. I was not surprised with the need to revise, however, I was surprised with how much work and time it would take to revise. The plan was to do it while I was sitting around bored in Romania but as you know my computer was dead and I was unable to work on it until recently.

I've spent hours and hours working on it over the last week or 10 days and have just sent it to a friend/colleague to read it over and give some feedback. While he has the paper I will be writing (as I've just learned from said friend/colleague) a long/detailed letter to the editor indicating what changes I've made to the paper (many) as well as nicely telling one of the reviewers to shove it on a couple of their suggestions.

I was to work on that today but Swell also had today off... when Swell has the day off we have to leave to buy things for people in Romania. So instead of working on said letter I went shopping.

I've also picked up two extra work days this week as we need the money and I was only going to work Saturday this week so my schedule has been changed yet again. I'm hoping that it won't be busy tomorrow as I'm working for Swell's boss and she's never busy but I'm working at a location that had the Optometrist had to leave for an emergency so it may be busy with his patients. We'll see. Hopefully I'll be paid to work on the paper.

That said. Entertain yourselves.

(I hope you know I'm just teasing Mr. or Ms. Anonymous. Thanks for reading.)

Another Day

Funny story. Well not funny, funny. Just funny.

Swell is sick.

Now before a select few of you go crazy and start to get real worried she is sick but she's not sick sick. Well she's sick, sick but not sick sick.

We got home yesterday she said "I'm sick. I think I should go in for treatment."

She phones treatment dude. He never phones back. We drive over there in the hope that he will get back to us while we were on the way. We get there he never phones back. She phones multiple times. She texts. She hopes. She cries.

He never gets back to her.

Just after midnight I hear her phone buzzing. I check. It is a text indicating that the treatment dude is in the midst of moving and had put his phone down while he was moving and never heard it/saw it/etc.

He felt terrible but Swell had to stick her HAE out like they do in deep, dark Africa.

She's on the mend but we find it funny that the only time she's decided to go for treatment without much encouragement it isn't available.

See its funny, but not funny, funny.

Where were we?

Yes, that’s right we were at the entrance to Universal Studios Orlando.

Me “Ma, you don’t need to show your ID for everyone’s tickets that doesn’t make any sense at all.”
Ma “Well when I printed the tickets at home it said that I, the purchaser, would be asked for my ID when we first used the tickets.”
Me “Why would they care about your ID for my ticket? So silly. You won’t need to show your ID.”
Guy at gate “Is this the first use of your 7 day ticket?”
Me “Yes.”
Guy at gate “I’ll need to see the ID of the person who purchased the tickets.”
Ma looking smug. “Here you go.”

Now I don’t care that they required my Ma to produce ID. What I do care is that they had to ask me for the ID when the rest of my family was using a different turnstile and not being asked for my Ma’s ID. Why do I care?

‘Cause my Ma was able to look smug at my expense.

Tears were shed.

Cheese standing on his tiptoes at the measuring sign. Note the blue change purse thingie gift from Loews hotel.


For some reason we lost our minds upon entering Universal Studios. Rather than avoid the crowd we just followed them. Our front of the line passes in hand we couldn’t be stopped.

We first joined the very short line for Shrek 4-D which everyone very much enjoyed. It’s always fun to go with someone who hasn’t seen it before. Their reactions are usually worth the price of admission. A very funny and fun show.

The only problem (and probably not something others think about) is that I have great difficulty fusing 3D movies. If the image is stable I can see depth quite well but once I start moving or the image moves it either becomes flat or double. It’s because I have a touch of convergence excess and really have to r-e-l-a-x to make the images jump out. I know I should relax. I know that deep breathing will help make the show more 3D but I just can’t do it while the show is going on. This causes headaches and a slight decrease in the enjoyment of the show. Still fun though.

After Shrek we crossed the street to go to Jimmy Neutron. We really enjoyed this ride last year and were looking forward to it this year. We so enjoyed it that:

Me to motion sick prone Ma “It’s not that bad Ma. I think you won’t have any problems on it. It is a lot of fun!”
Ma “Are you sure?”
Me “Sure. You’ll like it! Come on!”

Ride starts. Ma sitting next to me.

Me “Sorry.”
Ma Groan. Moan.

We enjoyed it more last year. It seemed that the chicken dance lasted longer last year but it was still fun and the boys enjoyed themselves.

We just kept making our way around the park and stopped at Twister. Now Cami was excessively nervous about this attraction. I’m not really sure why as he wasn’t alive during Edmonton’s “Black Friday” Tornado. His uncle, Jill, however, was and I will always have the image of him running around our basement screaming in fear. Funny now. Then? Not so much.

Cami was talked into going in and at the conclusion said: “That was ok. But I’m not doing it again!” Good enough.

Revenge of the Mummy was next. Cheese wasn’t tall enough to do this one. He knew he wasn’t tall enough. He was told he wasn’t tall enough many times long before the trip started. He was fine with not being tall enough until he was reminded he had to stay with Grandma while we went on the ride. He didn’t like that at all. This was the first time he couldn’t go on a ride with all of us (aside from Rock ‘n’ Roller coaster but his Ma sat out with him that time.) He cried. A little.

We left joined the express line and when I say line I really mean we joined the empty space as we walked past all the other poor saps in the stand by line. Right on to the ride with nary a break in stride. Great ride and everyone really enjoyed it.

As soon as we got out we couldn’t find G-Ma and Cheese. Where did they go? We all fanned out and searched. Eventually finding them in the arcade next to Revenge of the Mummy. Cheese was, apparently fine with not riding as soon as we left and they enjoyed their very few minutes waiting for us.

Just as we all regrouped the Blues Brothers were beginning their show. Not wanting to see said show most of us returned to the Mummy but Mustard, JDL and Cheese stayed behind to watch the show.

Next stop was to be Men in Black. We first stopped in at Finnegans as it is a tradition to have lunch there when visiting Universal Studios. We stopped to find out if they take reservations – they don’t – and check their hours. We decided to do Men in Black first and then head back for lunch.

On the way to MIB I think we stopped at Fear Factor Live as it was just starting. It is always an enjoyable show and with three young boys it is extra enjoyable.

We arrived at MIB walked the length of the express line only to stop and wait. And wait. And wait.

After 10 minutes or so the announcement that they were experiencing technical difficulties began. Not a big deal as we had FOTL. We left the line as there was no point waiting it out when we could just come back later and get to the front of the line quickly. That is one of the good things about FOTL. When you’re in a regular standby line you invest a lot of time into any given line. If the ride goes down you have a big decision to make. Do you risk investing more time or do you cut your losses – which can be quite large losses – and leave the line to head elsewhere. With FOTL the choice is simple. Leave. Come back later.

We did.

I think Earthquake was next. Cami was dead set against riding this one as he had enough of the natural disasters. He eventually decided to ride as his brothers were going to and I’m sure he didn’t want to be the only one too scared to ride.

We went through the enjoyable pre-show and ride and when it was all said and done Cami said: “That was fun. Way better than Twister.”

Lunch was next.

We stopped for a quick break so Jill could cheat on his girlfriend.


Sorry for the short update. I’m writing a couple of papers and have been hit with some deadlines. More soon.

Today

Happy Birthday Mustard! wherever you are.

Day 4 and 5

Rest Day

During the planning phase of our trip we decided that it would be prudent, in fact welcome, to have a day away from the parks. The plan was to have an easy day where everyone could sleep in. We could lounge by the pool, perhaps go mini-golfing, shopping, and end the day at dinner theater of some type.

By the time our rest day rolled around during our vacation everyone was quite anxious to relax but they still wanted to accomplish something, after all how often does one find their way to Orlando?

So we slept longer this day but we didn’t sleep too long. We had to head for Pirate’s Cove Mini-Golf.

Mini-golf for some of us is a time to prove our superiority to the rest of the family. Now it’s known that I am vastly superior to the family in every regard but it is an unspoken superiority. When mini-golf time rolls around the silence is broken and everyone is left gasping at the manifestation of my superiority. Today’s mini-golf would be no different.

Mini-golf is a funny thing because my brother, Jill, has grand delusions before every game that this could be his day to shine. It really never is.

We split into three groups. Played the “difficult” course at Pirate’s cove. Not because we were up for a challenge but rather because the nice young lady running the register mentioned that there were 200 fewer stairs on the difficult side.

Being Pearce’s slothfulness supersedes the desire for a challenge so had the easy course had moving sidewalks and a robot to putt for you we would have done the easy side. On this day, at this course the difficult side allowed for less expenditure of energy so we did the difficult side.

I was in a group with Swell, her Dad, and little Cheese. We had fun. I think everyone else did as well despite the ridiculous temperatures and their terrible mini-golf skills.

I was, of course the grand champion by tens of strokes and the family was reminded of my superiority in all things once again.

Following mini-golf it was time for SHOPPING!

There is very little I hate more than shopping. Shopping for souvenirs is one step worse than just regular shopping. Shopping for souvenirs in the discount stores is slightly worse than regular souvenir shopping. Shopping for souvenirs in the discount stores with 11 other people… Jesus take me home.

They shopped. I stewed. We were lucky enough to shop at multiple discount stores and just when everyone was done my brother, Jill, decided that it was a good time to FINALLY START LOOKING FOR SOMETHING FOR HIS GIRLFRIEND.

What did you do for the last 3 hours!!!!!

The only thing that made that afternoon worthwhile was lunch at Chick-Fil-A. Southwest Chicken Salad with Spicy dressing.

Manna from heaven.

We then made our way home to shower, change in time to go to Medieval times Dinner Theater.

On my last trip to Orlando I was lucky enough to experience Sleuth’s dinner theater which was quite fun (see earlier post) and the Pirate’s waste-of-time-and-money-please-don’t-make-me-do-it-again Dinner Extravaganza.

I had low hopes for Medieval Times.

It turned out to actually be quite fun although it is a little disconcerting to hear your young nephews shouting at the top of their lungs: “KILL HIM! KILL HIM! KILL HIM!”

I slept with one eye open the rest of the trip.

Medieval Times had something for everyone in my group.
Horses for my Pa, BBL, and “The Good One”
Action for the three boys, Cami, George and Cheese.
An easy to follow story – a necessity for my Mustard.
Meat for Swell’s dad (including the now infamous family joke - Bar-B-Que Spare Rib – note the lack of plural spare ribs. It was a grammatically correct menu, I’ll have you know.)
Dreamboat actors for my three sis’s BBL, JDL and the Good one
And little flags to wave around for Me, Jill and Swell. Fun, fun flags.

Our rest day concluded with a swim in the pool. And according to photo documentation recently uncovered this was actually the day I “fell” in the pool.

It was a great rest day all in all and I’m glad we took some time to do things away from the theme parks. I highly recommend a day to explore other tourist traps in Orlando if you get a chance.

Going Home To Universal Studios that is!

By now we had reached our 5th full day in Orlando and we would be transferring from our mansion of a house – which Ma had booked for the correct amount of days, starting on the correct day (I never doubted her…much) – to a great four star hotel.

I was excited. So excited.

I really don’t know why I was looking forward to Universal so much. Last year we spent two days at Universal and one at Disney and we seemed to just have a better time at Universal. We didn’t have a bad time at Disney but my Ma didn’t come that day but she did come to the Universal days. There are rides at Universal that we could all go on including motion sick Ma that aren’t really there at Disney.

We were also looking forward to Front of the Line passes from the hotel. This perk sounded cool but we hadn’t ever experienced it. Our last day at Universal last year was marred by out of control lines (school groups) and we spent much of our otherwise great day fighting off rowdy, line-cutting kids. The last four hours at Islands of Adventure last year was heaven when all the kids had gone and we had the park to ourselves. Front of the line sounded like those four hours being available all day.

We were not disappointed.

Arrival

We left the house quite early and hoped to get to the hotel, check-in – get our FOTL passes – and get to the parks before 9.

We arrived to the parking lot of the Portofino Bay in good time and found our way to the lobby without difficulty.

Swell and I booked the hotel so we were left in charge of checking in.

There was no wait at the front desk in the beautiful lobby. Our reservation was found without issue and they even remembered to give us adjoining rooms (two adjoining, the third room was down a floor).

No check in problems at all.

Except.

Now I think some of you may have figured this out by now.

I’m not the brightest guy in the world. To say I’m a little slow is a wonderful compliment and I thank you for your kind words.

The lovely woman at the front desk says: “So, who is in room 1?”

I respond: “Say whaaaat?”
Lovely woman: “I need the names and ages of the people who are staying in the room.”
Me: “Ummmm… sure.” I then list four names of the people in our party randomly.
Lovely woman: “Ok, and how about in room 2?”
Me: Randomly blurting out names half of which I’ve already said.
Lovely woman a little exasperated: “Are there two Cheeses in your party?”

By the time we got to the third room I didn’t know who I’d said, who I hadn’t and more importantly I actually couldn’t even remember everyone who was with us.

It was embarrassing…for Swell.
For me? Meh.
I knew I had a room key. The rest of the party? Meh.

My advice. If you’re checking in to a hotel in a large group have your room assignments written down in advance. Unless of course you’re smart and can do it off the top of your head.

We were given our 12 room keys along with 12 really cool little change purse thingies that you could hang around your neck.
They could hold your money.
Your tickets.
Your room key: AKA no line for me passes.
As well as the keys to your rental van. (Remember this one it will become important later!)

So much for our buying name badge holders on a retractable string. Everyone far preferred this free gift and wore it proudly for the next two days.

We were done checking in (one room ready the other two would be ready later) and headed immediately for the water taxi that would take us to Universal studios.

We were a little behind schedule but it was just after 9am and we would soon be in Universal Studios Orlando.