Out of my league but email sent...

"A high profile IAPB member has an opportunity for an exceptional Programme Development Manager..."











"...Based in Australia, the successful candidate will design and plan country programmes and individual projects that are internationally recognised as best practice."

Florida continued...

Our first three days in Orlando were Disney World days. Due to various events along the planning route of our trip we decided that it would be best if we did three Disney World days in a row followed by a rest day and then two Universal days. (Swell and I would add another three Universal days after everyone else left for home).

Our itinerary changed multiple times as well. We eventually – for a vast number of reasons – decided on doing three Disney Parks and doing them in this order:

Animal Kingdom
Magic Kingdom
Disney MGM Studios

So real briefly here are our Disney days.

I did just enough planning to kind of know that we should get to the parks early and that there were certain rides we should do in the am and then fastpass if we wanted to do them again.

Our plan for Animal Kingdom was not grand. We wanted to ride Expedition Everest (the three young boys were really looking forward to this – the eldest especially – after watching the Disney World trip planning DVD) and we wanted to do the Safari.

We were at the park at opening. We made it to Expedition Everest quickly and found a short standby line. While my Mum, who doesn’t do rides, got fastpasses the rest of the group rode EE and loved it. Well everyone loved it but me. You see I don’t have kids. I have nephews that I see once a year. Half way through the ride the ride did something and as it went through that motion (an intended motion) I couldn’t help but think, “Well Cheese just fell out.” Cheese is the youngest of the three boys and is just tall enough to ride EE. I know that it was an irrational thought that he fell out but it was a thought that flashed across my brain and it kind of took the fun away from the second half of the ride. Although the second time we did it I enjoyed it more. When we finished our second EE ride (having used our fastpasses a couple hours later) we received Year of a Million Dreams Ears which made everyone very happy. We even wore them for a while. I’d post pictures but I forgot the battery for my camera in Atlanta and, therefore, took no pictures. Ooops. Others took pictures but there is only so many pictures of a group of people standing around looking lost that you can post without becoming boring. I’ll save the boring pictures for later.

ETA: Pictures from Swell's camera added!







We saw Devine on the way to the Safari.

We also really liked the safari. It was great and we saw lots of animals. It had the same feel as the real safari Swell and I did in South Africa earlier this year. It was great to see people enjoying seeing the animals up close and personal.



Kali river rapids was fun but we did it only once as we knew we had a similar although superior ride to go on our universal days. We didn’t really get wet although it is a water ride. My sister really wanted to see the bird show. I was meh! But it turned out to be quite good and most importantly the boys really liked it. Nothing else really stands out in my memory on the Animal Kingdom day and we left around 4. That night Swell and I had to drive to the airport to pick up her Dad. With his arrival our group was complete.

Magic Kingdom day was a lot of fun. I wasn’t expecting much from this day as I had never been to the MK before but it was very enjoyable.



We rode all the popular rides multiple times and were impressed with them (Space mountain, splash mountain, etc.).



Saw the afternoon parade at which Cheese – who is unbelievably cute – was greeted by many, many characters. They would come up to him and rustle his hair, poke him, high five him, etc. They seemed to come to him more than other kids but I’m sure every family thinks that.



We particularly liked Big Thunder Mountain Railroad although we were only able to ride it once because it was down for part of the day (we were in line when it went down and they evacuated everyone from the line – we were grateful not to be stuck on the ride in the blistering heat). Many liked Buzz Lightyear, and we enjoyed riding a lot of the family/young kids rides like Snow White, Winnie the Pooh, etc. It was a good day. Cami loved Monster’s as he has a great sense of humour. He was in stitches and it was fun to hear him laugh so much. Stitch was fun as a one time only type thing. Poor George was a little scared I think because the shoulder harness didn’t come down on him the way it was supposed to (for those who don’t know the shoulder harness isn’t a protective device in this ride it simply adds to the – well it creates – sensory experience). A very hot day but the boys were great and we didn’t experience any meltdowns. We left in the early evening despite the park being open until 11 so that we could have an evening of swimming at home.

I don’t go in pools. Its not that I completely despise the concept of communal bathing (which is really what swimming is at its core) its just that I don’t swim. I took lessons as a kid but they didn’t stick. I started to take adult swimming lessons when I was in grade 12 but shortly after finishing a course I was in a pedestrian vs. motor vehicle accident.

I was the pedestrian.

This caused my left shoulder to have permanent nerve damage and muscle wastage. I have limited range of motion of my left arm. So if I was to swim I would only be able to manage swimming in a clockwise circle.

One of my life goals is to stand next to as many large bodies of water as possible without actually going in them.

Anyway the boys were super thrilled to be able to swim and seemed almost as excited or more excited to do that than go to parks. Nothing eventful happened during swimming except when I was watching the boys to ensure that if they were drowning I could explain precisely to the EMTs how they drown I “accidentally” fell in the pool (fully clothed of course) after taking my phone, wallet and keys out of my pocket and setting them on the table. I think the boys thought my “accident” was a hoot. ETA: actually looking at pictures it seems that this happened during our off day. Hmmmm... I'll leave the story here because I already typed it...and I'm lazy.



Disney MGM Studios days was great. We love the Tower of Terror (although Cheese looked terrified the first three times. I think he was about to cry after the first ride but when the rest of us were hooting and hollering about how fun it was he started to believe that what was probably to that point in his life the worst thing he’s ever experienced – and he’s had major surgery – was actually fun) and Rock ‘n’ Roller Coaster (George just about didn’t ride this one. We were nearing the front of the line and he was certain he wasn’t going to do it so his Grandpa was going to take him out the chicken exit but just as we got to the front he said “I’m gonna do it!” and he did. No one prodded him or told him to do it or else. I think he just did it because Cami – his older brother – was going to and he didn’t want to be “behind” his brother in the ride count.) The boys enjoyed the playland, and the various shows (Backlot tour, Great Movie ride, Drew Carey, The stunt shows etc.) We stayed late this night to enjoy Fantasmic. There were some crummy things this day as well but we chose to ignore them (Rock ‘n’ Roller coaster went down when a few of us were trying to rush through the single riders line. We waited it out but had to send Swell’s Dad back down to the rest of the group to tell them to go and get their Fantasmic seats. A protein spill on Star Wars by another guest was also a negative. I didn’t experience that as I ride Star Tours once and only once at the very most and this occurred on the group’s second ride.) We also saw a lot of line cutting. Groups going into the single rider line only to join the standby line during the preshow. Anyway it was a very fun day and we were able to enjoy all of our favourites many, many times. (Thanks to an expertly planned trip – of course by me.)

Like I said I won’t go into a lot of detail on the Disney side of our trip because I was looking forward to Universal much more and the stories from Universal are better.

Next up rest day (how much shopping can one family do? and how I beat Jill senseless in mini-golf) and then moving from a great house to an even better hotel.

Most of you were there but...

On Saturday, August 11, 2007 the Hootenanny officially began. At 5:30 am Eastern Time Swell and Sheepie woke with great anticipation for the good times – and long drive – ahead. Around the same time 3:30 am Mountain Time the rest of the clan were on their way to the airport in Edmonton, Alberta.

The plan was for Swell and Sheepie to pick up a few remaining groceries (they already had a trunk full of non-perishables) in Orlando drop them off at the rental home and meet up with the rest of the group at Downtown Disney for shopping and dinner.

By 6:30 pm the whole group would be together and the fun would begin in earnest.

But before that, traveling would have to be done.

Swell and Sheepie left Atlanta around the scheduled time of 6:45 am. After a short drive it was already time to stop for a quick Chick-Fil-A breakfast. The drive was very uneventful and Pam-Pam (our GPS) guided us flawlessly. Traffic slowed dramatically near Arabi, Georgia – what kind of name is Arabi anyway?

We were dismayed to see the aftermath of what seemed to be a very serious single car accident. There was a pick-up truck straddling the central median with its roof completely pushed in from what appeared to be a multiple rollover accident. Having been in a car (1970 VW bus) that slid on its side down the highway after hitting a moose it always bothers me to see accidents. It always brings back bad memories. After making it by the accident (a tow truck was at that point pulling the truck of the median) we resumed to normal freeway speed and made it into Orlando with no further issues.

We weren’t able to access the rental house until 4pm and we arrived in Orlando at 1:30ish so we decided to go and do the remainder of our grocery shopping prior to heading to the house. We found a Costco via Pam-Pam’s vast memory and were soon on our way to the I-4 parking lot. Traffic was not moving… at all.

After about an hour we found the cause of the non-moving traffic. It appeared to by, yet again, a single car roll over accident. Again the car was on the center median and the tow truck was nearby getting ready to pull the car off the road. Strange coincidence.

Shopping done we headed back toward the house with our perishables quickly melting in the oppressive heat of Orlando. It was hot. Soooo hot.

We were listening intently to Pam-Pam for the route to “home”.

Pam-Pam Prepare to exit to the right.
Me OK
Pam-Pam Exit Freeway on the right… Now.
Me What!? There is no exit on the right! Pam-Pam what do I do?
Pam-Pam Recalculating route… exit on the right… now.
Me What!? There is still no exit. Am I supposed to drive through the grass? What are you telling me Pam-Pam?
Pam-Pam Recalculating route you idiot. Stay to the left. I’ve now added 10 extra miles to your trip.

It appears that the map that Pam-Pam uses has two freeway exits on it that don’t exist in real life. So for the rest of the week we would fly past the correct exit saying as we did – I think we should have exited there – only to hear Pam-Pam say “exit now” when there was no exit around. We would then have 10 miles added to our trip. Good times. Good times.

I should mention that we had dinner reservations at the Rainforest Café at Downtown Disney scheduled for 10 pm. We’re not real good planner aheaders. So we didn’t call until somewhere on the route to make a reservation. By that time the only time available was 10pm. I took the reservation but fully expected to go elsewhere.

Pam-Pam eventually took us to our rental home. We pulled into the driveway and had the following conversation.

Swell: “Ummmm… how do we get into the house?”
Sheepie: “Easy. The management company gave us a code. We just need to pull up the code on my computer. Enter it into the keypad and we’ll be in the house putting away the groceries.”
Swell: “Sounds good, but can you explain to me why there are people in the house?”
Sheepie: “No. I actually can’t explain that. I’m going to continue with my plan of finding the code on my computer and entering the house.”
Swell: “Well I’m going to find out who is in the house and why.”

Swell comes back stating three surprising things:
1) We’re not expected until tomorrow
2) They are cleaning the house
3) The house doesn’t look like the pictures

I’m very, very slow and put all the blame on my mother who booked the house. I wouldn’t have been surprised had she booked for the wrong dates. We had a meeting time fast approaching so Swell arranged to have our perishables put in the fridge while the house was being cleaned. The cleaners phoned the home owner and he said we could stay that night but might owe a little bit more money. We left all of our food – perishables in the fridge the rest in the garage – and left for our dinner date.

Every 15 passenger van we passed on our way to Downtown Disney received stares as we scanned the passenger’s faces looking for our family.

At 6:30 pm exactly we saw a bright red van pulling into the parking lot of Downtown Disney. I pulled up alongside it and saw that it was, in fact, filled with the 9 Edmonton members of our Orlando Hootenanny. We all waved at each other with excitement and soon parked our respective vehicles.

We spent the next couple of hours exploring Downtown Disney and when I say Downtown Disney I mean the Lego store as we had three young boys with us. We decided to cancel our 10pm Rainforest Café reservation and head elsewhere as the Edmonton folks had yet to eat since early that morning.

After dinner we pulled up to the house – after missing the exit of course. The van arrived prior to our car and we pulled up to a very confused group of people.

The magic code didn’t work for the door. The house didn’t look like the right house. My father pointed out that the house across the street actually looked like the right house. We all compared the address we had to the address on the house. We were at the right address but the picture included in the rental package looked a lot like the house across the street.

As my mother phoned the management company – no answer – my father and brother walked across the street tried the magic code on that door and presto/chango was granted access.

Three problems arose from this:
1) The house had not been completely cleaned
2) Our food was in the other house
3) I was very confused

After 30 minutes of phone calls we finally got a hold of someone and it turns out that we were given the wrong address and we had, in fact, rented the house to which we were able to gain access. We were given a code for the first house and retrieved our food. Someone soon came to finish cleaning the house (one room was a mess, the rest was fine) and we were happy. The house was everything that was promised to my Mum and matched the photos she had viewed on line.

Our first day in Orlando came to a close and we had an early morning planned so everyone fell into a deep, content sleep.

Upcoming installments:
Three days of Disney in a paragraph (or 2)
Why doesn’t my camera work?
Portofino Bay is NICE
Why can kids ride roller coasters with no fear but freak out in Twister?
Dudley Do-Right ate my keys

We're here and we're...

well we're not doing much.

We returned from a great vacation in Florida to a few days of work. I worked my regular Wednesday job and it was ok. Yesterday was my first day at my new part-time job...

It was also good but very, very interesting. Three major things happened. None of which I will repeat here. But I will tell stories to those that ask on a non-public forum. One of the stories is crazy, one is interesting, the other is sad but all told they made for an interesting day. I was extremely busy and expect to be very busy the days that I am there. I will be there this Tuesday, Saturday and then on Labour day for a half day. The good thing about getting this job is that it is on the Marta (subway) line so I can take the train to work rather than having to buy a second car. Score!

In our personal lives we will be visiting with a financial planner in the next few weeks. We found an organization through the pastor of the church we attend that offers true financial planning. They will write up a report which will suggest how much to invest, how to invest, where to invest. How to save for retirement. Etc. Basically they look at your financial position and your short and long term goals and develop a plan to get you there. If they figure we make enough money and require more personalized/frequent investment advice we can hire them (they are paid a fee rather than working off of commission) to control our finances. We've been married and working for five years and haven't started planning for our future so we're looking forward to getting some direction. We were very lucky to come home from Florida to a bunch of money. Our tax return, our mortgage refund, and an overdue paycheque for me. It was all our money but it was nice to get it.

Swell has had her job finalized. She will be working 4-5 days a week at her old job and is somewhat happy with that. She will be paid as an employee which is really important. She will have health insurance - which is also really important.

So it has been a good week back from our time in Florida. I'll write some about Florida tomorrow.

My Wednesday.

So what was my Wednesday like? Well it was a pretty good Wednesday as far as Wednesdays go.

It was a good Wednesday and it was an interesting Wednesday.

My Wednesday started out with me getting up and leaving a swollen Swell sleeping while I went to work. Two big things in that sentence!

1) Swell is in fact swollen yet again. This is odd as she usually only gets sick once or twice a year and she has been sick twice this month. She was very foolish and regrets it now but didn't go in for treatment at the start of this episode. She has been living with a swollen abdomen for the past week and is on the mend but has been very uncomfortable for the week. For those who have never seen a swollen Swell here it is. This is from a year and a half ago but it gives you a general idea of what HAE causes.





2) I went to work. That's right my second day of work in 6 weeks. This job is a continuous-every-Wednesday job at a private practice close to home. I enjoyed it. It was very easy as the staff is well trained and it wasn't really high volume. I am paid well and will be there every Wednesday that they want me. Hopefully it will increase to a few days per week (although I have a very good lead on a 3 or 4 day job elsewhere. I met with this Lenscrafter's optometrist today and he was impressed more with my life than my optometric skills. Again, an optometry interview which consisted more of me describing our 6 months away and the life of a Palestinian than talking about optometry. Oh, for those interested the Wal-Mart chick decided to go with another "candidate". Too funny.)

During my lunch break at my new gig I walked to a nearby restaurant that had free wifi. Using their wifi I submitted a short 600 word (as opposed to a long 600 word) paper to an optometry journal. It isn't a scientific paper rather it is a simple description of our time away and why I went. If they publish it I'll get an honorarium and will, therefore, be a professional author! They'll let me know in a couple of weeks if they like what I wrote. It's not a big deal so I suspect they'll take it as is or with minor changes.

After a very slow afternoon at work (one and a half patients - there were four scheduled but I'm not allowed to see patients from a certain insurance company so the owning optometrist saw two and a half of them) I came home and worked out. That's right worked out.

I lost about 15 pounds while we were away but have been rapidly putting it back on. Not liking this I decided to search the internet for a work out plan that would take an out of shape former athlete and turn them into someone who could complete a marathon. I found a good program and started it at the beginning of the week. Why did I start when I won't be able to workout this upcoming week? Because I needed to. If I didn't start then I would never start. It has been a good week of short runs and they are getting more enjoyable very quickly. Only complaint is that I've been running with tight shoulders and my left shoulder has really been bothering me this week. For those that don't know what I look like my left shoulder is a hideous mess. A large number of years ago I was hit by a car which caused substantial nerve damage and, in turn, muscle wastage of my left shoulder. It is basically bone. Very freaky looking and, now, painful. I'll try to find a marathon to run 18 weeks from now or so but if none are available I will start the next cycle and run one next spring. I need a goal or I won't continue working out. Here's hoping.

After my workout we had a big condo meeting! It was very juicy. As a condo association we have just fired our management company for questionable accounting practices and poor supervision of the workers. Our board is very upset about the state of our condos (lack of maintenance and cleaning) as well as poor financial record keeping/disclosure.

Our board gave all of the home owners a letter indicating that they were giving the management company 30 days notice and the general reasons why. A few days later we got a very poorly written and very angry letter from the management company disputing all claims made by the board. It was in very poor taste but added to the drama. The big question now is whether or not the old management company will continue to provide the services they have been contracted to provide until the end of the month. Many are betting they won't.

We met our new onsite manager and the CEO of the management company. They both seem quite nice and are going to crack down on many of the things that the old management company has been letting slide. Cleaning, maintenance as discussed above as well as the dreaded renters.

In our bylaws a maximum of 25% of units are allowed to be rental units. Most of the owners believe that this has been drastically exceeded as people are moving in and out weekly. Movers cause damage to the hall walls, the carpet, elevator, etc. Renters care less about the open spaces, etc.

It should make for some interesting meetings in the coming months.

Well. We're off early tomorrow for Florida and will be back late on August 21. I work on the 22nd and have my second interview/meeting with the Lenscrafter's optometrist on the 23rd.

Hope everyone is well and those with new babies are getting at least some sleep. and congratulations?

Hired? Fired?

So the Wal-Mart chick emailed me and asked if I could start for $x four days a week as an independent contractor until the end of December.

Let me tell you another little optometric secret. Optometrists as a whole will do nothing to benefit any other optometrist. It is a cut throat world. Often, in fact I would say more often than not, "employer" optometrists "hire" their employees as independent contractors. This saves the employer money on payroll taxes but screws the employee over because they have to pay extra - self-employment - taxes. If the employee is technically an independent contractor they should set their own hours, practice however they want, own the charts, collect all fees, etc. This is never what happens. The independent contractors are told when and how to practice etc. I would not be truly an independent contractor under the proposal she sent me. This is against the law, but is really only trouble for her not me. If I worked for her and complained she would get in trouble from the IRS, I believe, for not paying proper payroll taxes.

I wrote her back and said "No unless you pay me $y and I will not guarantee until the end of December. I'll guarantee that I'll give you two weeks notice but that is it."

She wrote back and said, and I quote, "I have another interview setup on Thurs and then I will let you know. Is that ok?"

Apparently from past posts people don't find things as funny as Swell and I. The above quote we found very funny. For many reasons. Anyone else find it funny?

And you thought I was mean.

So Swell told me this story the other day I found it funny and slightly mean. Let me preface the story by telling you a little about where Swell works.

She works in an upscaleish commercial optometry practice. Commercial optometry means that the optical is the focus of the business and the optometry is the afterthought.

She also works in the suburbs of Atlanta.

OTP.

Outside the Perimeter.

ITP inside the perimeter is either ghetto or expensive with very little in between. For the same amount of money our condo cost ITP we could have purchased a 4 bedroom/2 bath house OTP.

The drawback? A very time consuming commute. Traffic coming in from the suburbs is atrocious. 2 hour drives just to get to work. It would suck. I couldn't do it so we have a smaller place and we live in the city.

Anyway a lot of suburbanites in Metro-Atlanta seem to have the attitude that they are very wealthy, and very important. Swell sees many of them.

Many of her patients are better than the employees at the store, better than Swell, and are some of the most important people in the world. They take every opportunity to indicate how important they are.

My car!
My house!
My job!
My traveling!
My importance!

Patient in a condescending I'm better than you tone "We're going to be going to London pretty soon."
Swell "Oh, it was cold last time we were there."
Patient "Tsk. When was that? because I'm going soon and I'm better than you".
Swell "Well we were last there on July 4th and it was cold. It was also cold when we flew through there on May 25th and in January."

That is how I heard the story. In reality? I'm not sure but I laughed and laughed when she told me the story. Maybe its just me. Maybe its just the way she tells the story. So funny.

So I worked! I worked yesterday way out in Hickville. It was soooo far away. (50 miles) and we had to rent a car because there was really no way to carpool. I got to work at a Wal-Mart. A filthy disgusting Wal-Mart.

I know that I'm not the tidiest person in the world. We're not messy per se. We are slightly cluttered, however. Our floors are clean and our kitchen/dishes are done every night. Our laundry doesn't pile up but all of our bookshelves, extra drawers are overflowing. I'm getting better as we threw a lot of stuff away when we came home last month.

A lot of stuff.

But anyway nothing bothers me more (well a lot of things bother me equally to this) than a messy practice. This Wal-Mart I was at was a pig sty. Stains all over the carpets. Junk all over the counters. Drawers unorganized. You'd be amazed how many optometry practices are like this. Just filthy.

It would make it difficult for me to go in everyday to an unorganized mess.

I don't know why I'm writing this story. I guess it just irked me.

I work next Wednesday as well at my new one-day-per-week job. Then next weekend we are off to Florida.

We are really looking forward to the drive.

In fact that is what we're looking forward to the most. Call us weird. We don't care. We embrace our weirdness.

I'll end with a statement and a question.

Statement Congratulations Matt and Crina (on the birth of your daughter) A. Person. Yes I know its funny! I love it. They named their kid A. Person!

Question How many times does one congratulate a pregnant woman? I assume one congratulates them when they announce their pregnancy. One then congratulates them when they give birth. Do we congratulate them again when we see them? When they make it home? When we give them a gift?

Its all for really the same thing. Is there a way to give them a half a congratulations at announcement and then a quarter of a congratulations at birth and the final quarter when you finally meet the rugrat? I feel that with all the people that we know that are/were pregnant they are going to steal all of my congratulations.