Its not a town. Its a village.

Preamble: This is attempt two at this post. This time with functioning pictures?

The week that was, was the week that was.

Difficult.

Professionally.

Personally.

Psychologically.

Physically.

The best way to explain these difficulties is to simply tell you our week. Our week in rural Alaska.

But before we discuss our week in the villages I should go back and post some long promised pictures from our first week in Nome.

This is the entrance we use every morning we are in Nome to get to our offices:


Swell meets a friend named Velvet. (What’s with us seeing animals in the backs of cars?)


One of our views. (Ignore the shadow on the right corner. Somehow I jacked my camera up. I’ll need to get that fixed when we’re in Washington).


Our gourmet kitchen.



Eskimo Dancing



Sunset over the Bering Sea





The most beautiful girl in the world




Late last week we received our travel itinerary for village week. We were to leave via Bering Air on Monday around 10 in the morning and return on Friday February 29 in the late afternoon. Being the ignorant Southern 48ers we are we packed according to this itinerary.

When we flew up here from Atlanta we packed in two large suitcases and a duffel bag. I didn’t think that the large suitcases would make for appropriate village travel luggage so we squeezed our weeks worth of clothes into the duffel bag and Swell’s small backpack. My backpack is suitable only for my camera and a computer so all of our belongings were relegated to the aforementioned duffel and backpack. We were also required to bring our sleeping bags and most importantly food and water for a week.

We were graciously lent the clinic’s cooler for our food.

In case you didn’t realize – it was extremely difficult to accomplish this packing feat.

We were able to shove and squeeze everything into our allotted luggage but were forced to cut some clothes and shove some food into the duffel.

We were set.

But not prepared.

In the midst of our packing we were asked to go to one of the hospital’s big-wigs home for pizza.

A nice late welcome?

Nah, we were going to the “lets-convince-a-yet-to-be-graduated-OD-to-move-to-Nome” meet the staff dinner.

Funny enough only one of three staff members made it to the dinner but both Swell and I made it.

We actually left Nome and headed to the bustling Nome suburb of Icy View.

While I was packing a thought popped into my head, I thought; “Self the name of this optometrist they’re trying to convince to come here seems so familiar. Where do I know that name from?”

And then it dawned on me.

A number of years ago I wrote this person an unsolicited email.

Why would I do that?

Because I’m an ass.

This person wrote a plea on the internet for connections to plan a trip to Belize for an optometric mission. I had just done a case study on eye care in Belize in Public Health school so I wrote this person what I thought about eye care missions and that they should contact one of two groups – the Ministry of Health or a non-governmental organization working on eye care in Belize – if they decided to go forward with an inappropriate mission. (My email was worded nicely and there is good reason to discourage foreign eye care in Belize – the good reason is that optometry is developing along a very public health path in Belize and should be aided before foreigners run in and throw glasses at the people).

Surprisingly I never heard back from this person but learned later via other sources that they did contact and work with the NGO I suggested.

The pizza party was good. We visited with the potential OD and encouraged them to seriously consider coming up here all the while wondering why we were never given the sales pitch they were giving this person.

I suppose we weren’t given the sales pitch because we never expressed any interest in staying here more full time. On Monday and Tuesday while we were slaving away in the villages the potential employee was being interviewed, given tours, and told about the potential for loan forgiveness through Indian Health Services.

I could sure use some loan forgiveness.

Monday morning eventually rolled around and we were soon ready to head to the airport.

In order to save space in our luggage we both got dressed with long underwear, jeans, ski pants, boots, undershirts, thermal shirts, jackets, toques, gloves and anything else we could think of.

I called for a cab thinking that it would give us another 15 minutes or so to finish getting dressed. Upon calling the cab company I was told “We’re on the way.”

No lie 1 minute later the cab pulled up to our door.

We threw our boots on ran out and were soon on our way to the Nome “airport”.

“Airport” because it’s actually one runway and every airline has its own little terminal building.

The cab drivers act as their own dispatchers. We heard a funny exchange between the cabbie and a potential passenger.

Cabbie Checker Cab
Woman’s voice Can you come and get me at X hotel?
Cabbie Where to?
Woman’s voice The hospital
Cabbie Ok. I’ll be there soon.

Two minutes later
Cabbie Checker Cab
Woman’s voice Are you coming to get me from X hotel?
Cabbie I’m on my way. (by this time we were fully loaded with passengers – the cab is a van and it picks up multiple fares and makes up the most efficient route to pick up/drop off fares – and on our way to the airport which is a little way out of town).
Woman’s voice I’m having some chest pains and I need to get to the hospital
Cabbie I’m on my way to the airport so you should call the hospital and ask them to send the ambulance
Man’s voice – apparently another cabbie listening in Call 911
Woman’s voice I’ll be waiting outside
Cabbie – shaking head Ok. We’re on the way.

We arrived a little early and had to sit and wait to check-in. I suppose we didn’t have to wait but Swell wanted to wait until our optician/assistant arrived at the “airport” and all check in together.

We waited. And waited. And waited.

Eventually the front desk people told us we needed to check-in. As our concern grew that we were being stood up and wouldn’t be able to function on our own the optician/assistant arrived.
As part of the check in process you are required to give your weight and weigh every item that will be carried onto the plane.

That should tell you something about the size of the plane we flew on.




Soon some kid who looked about 12 years old with some five o’clock shadow walked into the waiting area and said “Brevig/Wales”. We followed him out the door onto the tarmac and onto the plane.



We were flying in a plane called a caravan. It seems to be a true bush plane. Being able to be transformed to carry people or goods or some combination of both.

Once on the plane both Swell and I were very grateful that our small luggage forced us to dress in all of our warm clothes. Soon after putting on my seatbelt I realized that not only was it chilly on the plane but I could see my breath.

I was slightly shocked when the 12 year old guy who walked us out to the plane got in the pilot’s seat and strapped in.

It was going to be a long plane ride.

We flew to Wales via another small village where we dropped some people and goods off. Soon we were approaching “windy Wales”.

Upon arrival we hopped off the plane and started the long walk to the village school where we would spend the next two days and nights. I carried my backpack, a sleeping bag, and Swell’s pillow while she carried her backpack and a sleeping bag.

It was cold and I’ve been cold before. I mean cold, cold not just regular cold. We walked, and walked, and walked. At one point the “snow machine” (aka snowmobile) that was our luggage cart came by with the second half of our luggage and picked up the optician. Swell and I continued to walk and walk. Eventually the snow machine picked us up. Swell sat behind the driver and I sat on the sled behind it hanging on for dear life with my backpack weighing me down and the sleeping bag slipping from my grasp.

Fun?

Ummmm…no.

We got to the school and immediately started to unpack and set up. The optician/assistant also began to man the phones phoning those who had signed up for an exam to set up an appointment for them.
We were a little shocked by the room we were given to work in. It was basically a large storage room. We did our best to set up in a way that would be at least somewhat functional while being clinically appropriate.

Our exam room




View through phoropter (prescription checker)


We began seeing patients at around 11:30 and finished for the night around 8pm.

We saw a lot of kids but also many adults. Everyone was very grateful that we were there and were very friendly. It had been a couple of years since a Norton Sound Health Corporation eye team had been to Wales but there are a couple of private outfits that fly to villages to do eye exam and sell glasses. The bad thing is that they don’t do follow up care or report to Norton sound. While it’s not necessary to share findings Norton sound provides the rest of these patient’s healthcare so it would be nice to have complete charts.

Just another little problem in the provision of care to those in rural areas.

Toward the end of the day I was met with the best of all news.

Every evening the school gym was open for people to play basketball.

For much of the evening a little store was also open that sold soda and candy.

Much to my excitement not only did they sell Dr. Pepper it was actually quite cheap – only 75 cents per can.

I was ecstatic.

The work was difficult. We were busy. Our equipment left much to be desired. Many of the folks had difficult problems that we were unable to completely deal with. We were not sure how to refer, where to refer, or when to refer.

Again, a manual – policies and procedures – would have come in handy.

The big excitement in town was that there was a Polar Bear spotted in town recently. We were told not to venture outside – not that we had time to – and the children were told to walk on the town side of the school rather than the water side.

Wales is a very small village with less than 200 inhabitants. The post office was closed while we were there as the post master was at a conference.

The school has five or six classes which are not grades per se; rather the children are grouped according to “level”. If you reach one level you’re geared for general life. If you want to go to college or trade school you have to reach the final level.

From the papers posted on various bulletin boards it seems that the kids are quite bright and well taught.

We met one teacher who is originally from Oklahoma and has been teaching in this little village for 10 years now. She mentioned that most of the staff had been at the school for years now.

Very impressive if you ask me. Important for the kids’ education as well. Continuity is important.

We met one girl who wants to go to optometry school – or not. It said in her chart under occupation “future optometrist” so we talked to her about it. Like most people she didn’t realize that it was a post-grad degree so we’re not sure if she’s in it for the long haul. We gave her Swell’s email address and have already communicated via email about optometry school.

As we prepared for bed we realized two things:
1) We would be sleeping in a classroom – the younger kindergarten age kids’ room and
2) There were others sleeping in other classrooms.

We’re not entirely sure how many people were spending the night in the school but I think there were three groups in total – us, some folks working on the schools plumbing issues (?? – An interesting plumbing side note in both villages we stayed in they had indoor washrooms for us but both contained signs bearing the clever albeit off colour saying If its yellow let it mellow. If its brown flush it down. In Wales the bathrooms also bore signs indicating that they were only to be used during school hours due to “freezing pipes”. That made for some long nights. Nah, we ignored that sign and some ignored the latter part of the first…if you get my drift.) The third group was a couple of young guys – Glaciologists – from the University of Alaska doing some research on the sea ice. I’m sure their conclusions will not bode well for humankind. They were nice although a little disappointed by our presence. Apparently the storage room/eye exam room is also the Glaciologist’s equipment cleaning room and we were in their space all day.

Our beds were grand.



But our sleep was not sound.

The next day started with a wonderful breakfast of water and a granola bar. We were both tired and my back was sore (and still is). Despite that we worked.

From 8:30 am until 9:00 pm.

Four patients an hour (with two ~45 minute breaks for lunch and dinner).

We each shared the patients and a routine that would carry through the week was developed. Swell would start the patients and I would finish with them. I think Swell had it harder, she thinks I had it harder. I guess that means we found a good balance.

Looking out the unfortunately placed (for an eye exam lane) window one could see why the village is called “Windy Wales”. It looked absolutely miserable out.


We were glad to be indoors in the too light exam room during the day and too dark exam room during the early morning and night. Swell was struck with the realization (and I’ll avoid using this opportunity to say I told you so) that she in fact did not need the heavy sweaters and pants that she packed as – surprise, surprise – they actually had good heat in the school. She was sweating like a pig. Ha!

The day was uneventful, although our last patient before dinner spent quite a bit of time talking to us about the changes he has seen in Wales. Mentioning that usually by this time of the year they have seen 8 or 9 Polar Bears but this year just one. He mentioned that the weather has changed drastically in the past number of years. He didn’t say why he thought these things have happened. Perhaps global warming we pondered, perhaps just a regular weather cycle. He didn’t know. We couldn’t offer an explanation but it was an interesting ten minutes learning about life in Wales.

Yet another life experience I couldn’t ever have imagined having: standing in a school hallway talking to an Eskimo about life in a tiny village in rural Alaska.

We went to bed that night knowing that this was our last night in Wales. We would wake up the next morning and work for a few hours and then pack up and fly out to Shishmaref.

That night Swell was shown the shower.

There was a shower (limited to a total of 2 minutes).

She states that it was so powerful that one couldn’t stay more than two minutes even if one wanted to.

I turned down the shower.

I’m a man’s man.

Stinky.

The next morning we woke up and started working again.

We worked.

We ate our PB and J for lunch.

I packed up the equipment while Swell walked to the only open store. It turned out to only be a grocery store. She was hoping for a hand made goods store.

We had opportunity to buy things made locally.

The first things one of the patients brought was beautiful. It was an Ivory carving of little Eskimo guys dancing.

It was $750.

We said no.

We also said no to the $150 crafts and the $85 ones. Well, we said no to everything.

Far too rich for our blood.

We decided that it would be fun to walk to the "airport" to take some pictures.

It was sooooo cold. Colder than the first day. The coldest I've ever been.

Some pictures of our walk to the airport as taken by two frozen cameras.









Yes I'm stupid. Yes its on upside down. My excuse - I didn't put it on until outside and my fingers were freezing.



Next installment

Home

We're home in Nome. A day later than expected. Will post more (a lot?) later.

Miss us?

We're in Wales.

Look it up on a map.

We're exhausted but have much more to do today.

Have sporadic contact with my three loves:

Swell
Dr. Pepper
Internet

Leave tomorrow.

Will probably lose contact with two of my three loves.

We'll see.

Back in Nome on Saturday (Friday night actually).

Will write more then.

Haven't missed us I see.

The Bread is Fresh...

So we're at the endish of our first week. It has been extremely challenging on many fronts.

First the good:
It has been awesome to be here with Swell. We don't see a tonne of each other during work but its nice to get home at a decent time 5:30-6:00 and sit and watch TV or DVDs together.

On Wednesday we were invited to go to the local Catholic Church where some Eskimo folks were "practicing their dancing". We weren't entirely sure what that meant but after arrving realized that we were experiencing one of the coolest things I've experienced in my life. It ranks up their with sitting on a roof top in Palestine listening to some locals play music (in '99). It also ranks with when I was sitting in the back of a truck in rural Honduras zipping along listening to the frogs croaking. On Wednesday we sat in this Catholic church and listened to three men play traditonal drums and sing. Whenever anyone felt like it they would jump up and do a dance associated with the song being played. What I found most interesting is that there were many young people there (12-14 years old) and would at times be the only person dancing. It was actually (for this bleeding heart) a very moving experience and one that I won't soon forget. I'll try to put some pictures up but that will require going to the pizza place and spending a bunch of money on lunch or dinner (this Sunday or tomorrow for dinner).

The patients here are very challenging. They people are beyond nice but they are a sick/old population (the ones we're seeing this week any way - remember that they are all diabetics this week). The previous optometrist was meticulous in her note taking and I would argue extremely conservative in her treatment plans. Swell and I, having worked in the worst of all situations, are far less likely to call something a problem. It makes it difficult to reconcile our findings with the previous optometrists. We were astounded by how much the previous optometrist did but have come to find out she was really only doing one exam an hour. We will be doing at least 2 an hour each.

The negatives are just things we have to learn to live with.

A lack of communication is a big one. There is no one "in charge" of optometry here. No one really seems to know how things work. There is no policy and procedures manual. We are going out to villages all next week and were told to make sure we had all the necessary equipment ready. Most of it was already packed away but we really don't know what we need as we've never done this before. If I were ruler of the world I would make a manual that states bring this and that for every village trip. No such manual exists. This wouldn't normally be a problem because there were two optometrists here but because both quit there is no senior OD here to guide the Jr. ODs (us).

In the villages we really only have enough equipment to be doing one exam at a time. We'll have to figure out a way around this.

We have to bring our own food and water to the villages. We only have one duffel bag and then a tourist style suitcase. We can bring as much luggage as we want but I don't think a four wheeled suitcase is going to work well in a small rural village.

Because they are without an optometrist we are pushing a lot of "special testing" off. Many of the charts have the notation to do a visual fields in a year, or photos, or someother non-regular testing. Well, a year is up but we can't really do this extra testing as we don't have the time. We tell them to come back in a couple of months and hopefully we will be here and able to do it or they will have hired someone.

A yet to graduate optometrist is coming by sometime this week or next to tour the facilities. They hope to hire this new grad. I couldn't have done this work right out of school but I hope that this new grad is willing because they really need someone.

Well thats that. We haven't been overwhelmingly busy because a couple of villages were snowed in and the folks couldn't make it into Nome.

I should explain that there are medics in many of the villages (these are well trained lay people who are able to prescribe some medications and take care of minor issues). They can also communicate with providers in the hospital and send pictures and questions for guidance. (Telemedicine at its finest).

Once in a while a specialist comes to Nome and all those requiring help from said specialist come into town to be seen. Physicians also travel to the villages on some set schedule.

It is a very public healthy set up and seems - albeit from the outside looking in - to be an efficient method of providing care to the local people.

We were in Safeway yesterday as a man took bread of the shelf he exclaimed: "The bread is fresh today!" He proceeded to thump it and explain how he knew it was fresh "Its still frozen!"

Thats Nome in a nutshell. Fresh bread is still frozen bread put out on the shelves.

Its been fun.

Day 1

I'm sitting in the smaller of our two offices here at the hospital. It is quickly approaching quitin' time.

The end of a hard day approaches.

Not hard because we were so busy. Not hard because the patients were so complicated.

Just hard because its always hard to start a new job.

Not knowing where things are. Not being familiar with policies and processes are always difficult.

They were especially difficult today simply because we are working in a hospital.

Mounds of paperwork.

No simple drawer full of new supplies, rather one must go to the pharmacy or supply room to obtain replacement drops or things.

New equipment is always a little difficult in the beginning. While it is true that everything works the same it just takes a little while to get used to where this knob is, and that button is.

My exam lane is the smaller of the two. Smaller simply because it is filled to the brim with extra equipment that isn't used regularly. I've really been struggling more than Swell I think.

I was getting more and more frustrated as I tried to figure out why it felt like I was moving in slow motion and everything just seemed really difficult.

It finally dawned on me.

I'm working in a left hand room.

Everything I'm using is on the opposite side of the room that I'm used to.

Not a big deal but its throwing me off. Physically and mentally. Just being in a weird room is causing everything to be just that much more difficult.

I'll get used to it but its going to take some time.

Nice weather today. Very warm, although we won't really experience it as we're here all day and then have a short walk home tonight.

There is no place like Nome

So we are sitting here in Airport Pizza just waiting for the waitress to bring Swell's Latte.

Needless to say Swell is ecstatic that she has the availability of Lattes, Cappuccinos, and Espressos.

Airport Pizza is one of many restaurants in Nome. It is, however, the only one we've tried thus far. We've now eaten here twice.

Our first meal here was a lunch where we got a very expensive, yet yummy, pizza. Believe it or not we had Reindeer sausage pizza.

It was quite good. We felt like doofus tourists ordering it but I've come to find out that it is actually quite popular.

Today we each had a burger. I had a true beef burger whereas Swell had a Garden burger. Both were quite good but, again, expensive.

Everything is extremely expensive here. We were expecting expensive but were still a little shocked. Swell is going to write down the prices of some of the things at the grocery store to share our shock. To give you some idea I'm looking out the restaurant window at the nearby gas station - $4.29/gallon. And we're told that's very cheap for Alaska standards.

Our little apartment is warm. That's really all it is but we're not complaining. We are warmer indoors than we were this time last year.

Much, much warmer.

Outdoors is another story, though.

Anyway our apartment is a two bedroom one bath complete with washer and dryer - yippee - but is filthy.

Disgusting filthy but not the kind of filth that can be cleaned. Its just the type of place that has seen many different tenants - I believe its owned or rented solely for the use of the hospital. Stains of unknown origin on the carpets and walls.

Rickety furniture.

But its fine. We're treating it like a camping trip.

Scrounging for food.

Sleeping in sleeping bags.

We haven't done much the last few days. We're just trying to acclimatize and get used to the time change.

We've been watching TV (they have provided us with cable) and DVD's (on my computer). We did venture out a little bit each day.

It is a very small town. Population ~3500. Everything worth going to is in a short distance from our apartment. Front Street is the main drag - complete with bar after tavern after watering hole - and is right on the Bering Sea - which is, of course, completely frozen.

The temperature has been very bearable. We think it was actually much colder in Edmonton over Christmas. We, of course, also have much better/warmer clothing here.

We start work on Tuesday. This week, as we've already mentioned, is simply diabetic eye exams. No set schedule. Folks from around the Norton sound area will be coming in for their annual diabetic meetings with the nurse, physician, and dietitian. At some point they will drop by the eye clinic where we will check their eyes for any diabetic complications. So we'll be busy in spurts. No big deal. It should be fun.

We have internet at work and then here at the restaurant so we'll be in touch this week but out of touch next week.

Sorry for the rambling but it is difficult for me to write fast and entertainingly at the same time.

Some pictures to end the post.

Nome began due to Gold Rush



Front Street


Tourist Center


Iditarod finish line - They pull it out at the end of the race but it sits outside all year long


We could walk to Siberia - we could if we were crazy.

Nome Sweet Nome

Here.

Not that cold.

Apartment is...interesting.

Orientation half day tomorrow.

Long weekend due to Presidents Day on Monday. Start working on Tuesday.

Later.

Cold?

We are sitting in the Anchorage airport waiting to board our last flight of the day. We will fly to Nome via another town so we have two more takeoffs and two more landings to go, although it is only one flight.

Lots of snow outside. Doesn't look too cold here but we have a long journey North yet.

Uneventful day thus far if you discount the ticket lady in ATL, the big guy squishing me on the second flight and the SCREAMING kid sitting right behind me.

All those who read this and are sick you better get better immediatley. All those who read this and are being silly with your lives better cut it out immediatley.

Ok that's it. My thumbs hurt and I don't like not having a spell checker.

We're on our way

So we will be leaving our house via cab (or more accurately "luxury sedan" - same price as a cab and way more cooler) tomorrow morning at 6. Our flight is at 8:30 am and we arrive in Nome, via Seattle, via Anchorage at 8:30 pm. 16 hours of travel time (remember the time change people) and we'll be in Nome.

Here's hoping our flights are on time and without incident.

Swell is excited by the fact that there is a 100 degree Fahrenheit difference between Nome and our holiday location of Maui. That will be a shock to the system.

We've already been asked to make this a year long deal.

We'll see.

I don't know how much access we'll have to internet but I get all my emails pushed to my phone immediately so you can stay in touch that way.

I'll also try to update here via phone if the internet is not working.

Later Gators.

Put it out of its misery

Before I start this post I want to explicitly state that we love our car and are very grateful for it. It was a gift Swell's parents gave her for Optometry school graduation a number of years ago. Since then I have purchased it from her. (Click here for a reminder as to how this car became my property)

That said this car has become more trouble than its worth over the last few weeks.

As the car approached 115000 miles we figured it was oil change/tune up time. No problem. I could take it in on a Monday or Thursday. Mondays both Swell and I had off but we're often out and about doing errands, shopping,etc. Thursdays Swell worked but I had the day off and could drive her and then head back to the car place and they would drive me the mile or so back to our place where I could do my weekly cleaning. (Of the house, not of me. I clean myself monthly whether I need it or not.)

Hating talking on the phone I had Swell phone to make the appointment. She tried a couple of times but their phone just kept on ringing. After learning of this non-answered phone business I did what any sane individual would do.

Find a new garage?

No. Book an appointment on line.

The next Thursday.

Me: Bye Swell. Have a nice day. I'll see you later.
Swell: Let me know if they find anything wrong with the car.

Twenty minutes later.
Me - on phone: Ummmm...Swell... I don't think they're open anymore.
Swell: What! They're not open?
Me: Correct. They are not open anymore.
Swell: That's strange. I guess we'll have to do it another time.

Three days later
Swell: When are you going to take the car in?
Me: I don't know where to take it... I'll have to search on the internet for another Ford dealer.
Swell: Why don't you just take it into the dealer we always take it.
Me: FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY, DO YOU NEVER LISTEN TO ME!
Swell: What?
Me: Remember? I was taking the car in last Thursday and I phoned you and said they weren't open?
Swell: Well, of course I remember that. What does that have to do with taking the car in this week?
Me: I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO TAKE IT! I'll have to look for a new dealer online or something.
Swell: I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU CAN'T JUST MAKE A NEW APPOINTMENT AND TAKE IT WHERE WE USUALLY TAKE IT.
Me: Oh my goodness! You really don't listen. I just told you that they were closed.
Swell: Its not like they're closed forever, stupid.
Me: It's exactly like they're closed forever. All the cars that were for sale are gone. Its just a big empty lot now.
Swell: Oh. I thought you meant they were just closed last Thursday.
Me: That doesn't really make sense does it?
Swell: I didn't think it made sense but you said it and most of what you say doesn't make sense.
Me: That's true.

So after that fateful misunderstanding I said something to someone once about not posting personal stuff (like fights) in a blog so I just want to reiterate that I exaggerate our disagreements although the underlying story is true. It is very true that we had a complete misunderstanding of what "They are closed" meant. It was quite funny. I searched and searched for another Ford dealer.

The nearest one wasn't really all that near. About 7 miles from our place, which is a long way in Atlanta.

So one fateful Thursday I dropped Swell off at work and made my way to the new Ford place.

Upon arriving I was impressed with the customer lounge, not so much with the neighbourhood.

After telling the garage dude that we needed i) an oil change ii) an inspection to look for any problems and iii) an explanation as to why the car was idling poorly at stop lights I went looking for a place to hang out.

Me - on phone: Swell, I'm a little bit a feared. This place is in the ghetto, and not the ironic cool ghetto I mean the actual ghetto and its freaking cold out today.
Swell: Don't care.
Me: Well ok then. I'll call you when the car is done.

I eventually found a place to eat. Who would have expected to find a Chik-Fil-A in the ghetto? (Ok that was crossing the line I know. It wasn't really a ghetto. It was just a rundown part of the city with a lot of shady people hanging around. And truth be told where isn't there a Chik-Fil-A in Atlanta?)

After my nutritious lunch I walked back to the garage and sat for five hours watching Scrubs on my computer.

Oil Change? Check!
Explanation for poor idling? Check!
Fix idling problem? Check?
Cheque? $600
Check the brakes? No. Although they were supposed to. Its on the sheet. The just marked. Didn't do.

Why would the brakes be important?

A few days later.
Swell on the phone: Ummmm, dear husband of mine. Remember when you took the car in. I told you to make sure they checked the brakes right?
Me: I know. They were supposed to. How am I to know that this new garage just ignores that part of the multi-point inspection?
Swell: BY TELLING THEM TO CHECK THE BRAKES!
Me: Sorry. Are they worse?
Swell: If you consider a combination of an ear splitting screeching and a headache inducing grinding worse, than yes they are worse.

The next Thursday I was on my way to yet another Ford Dealer.

My long walk this time led me to a Wendy's followed by 4 or 5 hours of The Office on my computer while waiting in the not as nice customer lounge.

Brakes fixed? Check!
Cheque? Another $600

One day later toward the end of a very long Friday.
Swell - on phone: I'm on 400 and the car doesn't sound right.
Me: What's wrong?
Swell: I don't know. It just doesn't sound right.
Me: I'm sorry. Drive slowly and try to get here. I can't really do anything else from here.
Swell: Ok.

Ten minutes later
Swell: It sounds even worse now and its not going very fast.
Me: Maybe you should pull over.
Swell: I'm on 400
Me: DON'T PULL OVER!!!!

Ten minutes later
Swell: I made it. I'm in the parking lot where should I go?
Me: Just find the nearest parking spot.
Swell: I think maybe the tire is flat.
Me: Just find the nearest parking spot.

Ten minutes later.
Me while looking at the huge piece of metal in the tire and the blown sidewall: Well, you're lucky you're not dead.
Swell: You're not supposed to drive on a flat tire?
Me: No dear.

20 minutes later.
Swell You'll stay open for us? We're almost there. We're just driving on a doughnut now and we work tomorrow so it would be great if we could get it fixed tonight.

2 hours later.

Tire fixed? Check!
All other tires ok? Check!
Cheque? $250.

Since then? So far so good.

Don't Phone Us

Well we got rid of Sprint. They hosed us a little and we weren't able to port our numbers. So don't call us. After living in Atlanta for over 3 years we finally have local numbers... just in time to move away.

If you don't hear from us in the next couple of days via email or phone and you want our new numbers drop us a line. For the next day or two we'll be going through our contacts and trying to figure out who needs our numbers.

I love Atlantans

Swell had the brilliant idea to weasel out of our cell phone contract by indicating that we were moving to a place that had no cell phone coverage.

We're not entirely unhappy with Sprint but would love to get out so that we could really weigh our options (particularly with phone availability - Sprint has the worst selection of phones in the world). We refuse to pay the cancellation fee so I thought I'd head over to a Sprint store during my overly slow work day, and ask if we could, in fact, get out of our contract without the exorbitant cancellation fee. I'd read that they are willing to forgive the fees if you can prove you are moving to a location without coverage.

Worker Welcome to Sprint. How can I help you?
Me Well, believe it or not my wife and I are moving to Nome, Alaska.
Worker Where's that?

Ok. Now I'm not the smartest person in the world. My intellect, unlike my stunning good looks, would probably fall smack dab in the middle of the intellect bell curve. Average at best.

That said, I know where Alaska is. I might not have been able to point to Nome on a map without a hint or two but if someone said I'm moving to Nome, Alaska I wouldn't say "where's that?". I had hoped that anyone in this country would have a vague idea where Nome, Alaska was.

The worker's response begged the question, did they not know where Alaska was? Did they know that Alaska was, in fact, part of the US?

Me - dazed and confused Ummmm... well... it's about as far north as you can get in the United States.
Worker - doubtful as to the veracity of my geographical knowledge and future habitat Yeah, let me check on that.

I tell 'ya the education system needs a good overhaul down here.

Any Americans who care to chime in. What cell service do you use and is it worth getting?

Cheers!

I'm gonna try out saying Cheers now. I don't know why. I just feel like doing it. By the way we applied for positions starting January '08... in New Zealand. They may or may not have openings at that time but have asked for two referees from us. Where can I find a referee? Do I just approach them after a hockey game or what?

Silly Girl Getting Ready

Silly Girls Wii-ing. (Long exposure with attempt to show movement. Kinda worked)

Now that's what I'm talking about

Hi Headhunter woman,

During SwellandSheepie's 3 week visit, we have schedule a village trip 2/25-2/29. They will travel together on one of our smaller airlines to two remote eskimo villages. 1 village is Wales, AK and one village is Shishmaref, AK. They will travel with the optician here and she will orientate them to the clinic and be there the entire time with them.

They will all stay in the village clinic overnight. It is safe there and there will be separate sleeping areas for Pearce's and the optician. However, if they have sleeping bags, they may want to bring them. Most clinics are equipped with cots.

I am writing to make sure they are up for the trip. We will pay for the airfare, etc. The lodging is taken care of and they can enjoy the experience.

Please let me know if there are any problems with this. Wales does not have "running" water. There is water and there is a local store, but no actual running water. There are showers available.

I think they will love it. The other two weeks will be spent in Nome. We have an annual diabetes clinic 2/19-2/22. The entire week will be used to see our diabetic patients. We usually have about 70 patients come to town for this clinic, so that week may be busy.

(emphasis mine)

Bad Days

I've had some bad days as an optometrist. Some really bad days.

Patients yelling.

Staff glaring.

Patients glaring.

Staff yelling.

Busy.

Slow.

Confused.

Saturday was one of those days. But I don't know why. It wasn't particularly busy (20 patients for full exams, five or so for miscellaneous junk). I didn't get yelled at or about. I received very few glares. It was just a difficult day made worse by a complete lack of desire to be here.

We don't like it here Sam I am.

Not a bit.

Not a little.

Not a lot.

Not at all.

It is time to move on. From Saturday at 7pm to Monday at 5 pm we are relatively happy people but as the fact that we have to return to work on Tuesday begins to sink in early Monday evenings the dread starts.

From Swell's long drive and staff that hate her to my just hating working at a mall and seeing walk-in after walk-in our work weeks are killing us.

Why can't work be fun? We went to school for a long time. We demand fun.

Instead we get no fun.

We hope that Nome is fun.

They were supposed to have purchased our tickets at the end of last week. We approved the flights and they were supposed to buy them.

I hope they did.

If they didn't...

We've given our notice here and are ready to go.

We hope to be challenged professionally.

We hope to learn optometry.

We hope to learn about others.

We hope to experience Alaska.

We hope our plane doesn't crash.

Swell's Ma is coming to visit this weekend. Every couple of weeks her schedule works out in such a way that she has four or five days off in a row. She can fly cheap so she is coming to see us. While cleaning for her arrival I came to the conclusion that somehow we have too much stuff. We have so much stuff we don't have enough room for it.

Now remember that a lot of it isn't our stuff. It is stuff for Romania. Swell has a dream. Her dream is to fill four suitcases of stuff for others and take our clothes and the like as carry ons. In the meantime the stuff multiplies, much like the stereotypical rabbit, and accumulates in our rather small condo.

We trip over stuff.

We sit on stuff.

We push stuff aside to clear but a little room to walk.

I exaggerate of course, but suffice it to say there is Romania stuff on top of stuff we need to part with.

Thats one good part of moving.

Purging.

I'm semi-proud of us for purging much of our optometry school notes. They are now in a landfill somewhere near Nablus.

I'm semi-proud that we purged clothing upon our return 6 months ago. They are now in a Goodwill somewhere (or in someone else's closet).

We now need to do some more purging. If we're going to sell our place it can't look like its bursting at the seams. We have too many sheets and blankets.

We have too much Christmas stuff.

I have too many books and CDs.

The time to start purging nears.

And then packing to move...

I hate packing.

I'd rather work here than pack.

Interesting observation

When it is 9 am in Atlanta it is 5 am in Nome.

This morning at 9 am Atlanta time the temperature in Atlanta was 21F/-6C (with wind chill 7F/-14C).

In Nome at 5 am this morning the temperature was 31F/-1C (With wind chill 19F/-7C).

Strange, no?

Pictures from our second winter storm this week!

As I sit here waiting for Swell to pick me up after another hard day's work the metro-Atlanta region holds it's collective breath.

Children are on the verge of tears.

Women are shivering.

Men are prepping.

The mayor is on alert.

Principals are manning the phones.

TV stations are preparing for round the clock coverage.

It is snowing.

A lot.

A veritable blizzard.

A southern blizzard but a blizzard none-the-less. White flaky moisture is falling from the sky. A snow day is in the making. Shovels need to be sharpened. Scarves need to be tied. Snow needs to start sticking 'cause nobody wants to work tomorrow. If there is a dusting of snow in the morning work, school, and life will be temporarily halted.

It just might happen.

Snow days are still an enigma to me. Why should a little snow stand in the way of living life? You can walk in snow. You can drive in snow. You can work in snow.

I guess I should say I can walk, drive and work in snow. The rest of the city? Apparently not.

Swell has a long drive ahead of her and if people drive in the snow like they do in the rain here I won't see her until tomorrow. Although I can't see her I am sure she's blue.

Not from the cold but from holding her breath. She would be over the moon ecstatic to not work tomorrow. Thursdays are her most dreaded days. She really struggles at the location she works at tomorrow. Suffice it to say that her Thursday location is not a fun work environment.

Her Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday, Saturday work place is a soap opera. Her ADD/Tourette's/OCD/Druggie co-worker has at long last been fired. His replacement. A know-nothing know-it-all who thinks she actually has a say in how the store runs. A manager who has nobody to manage. A new comer to the wonderful world that is optics but has been left to run an optical store. I'm sure if Swell ever becomes un-lazy she can tell you stories.

We've been busy the last week or so buying stuff for Alaska... but we're not entirely sure if Alaska is happening. We're sure. The company that was hired to find us is sure. The hospital where we'll be working? We have yet to receive word that our tickets were purchased although Swell found some tickets for a song a week ago.

We've each purchased boots. We each got a few more sweaters. Swell got socks, 4 coats, mittens among other things.

We're looking forward to going...

...if we get to go.


As an aside. I was sitting next to a real catch the other day before work. Any of you single ladies out there might want to give me permission to pass on your info to him. I'll probably see him tomorrow!

This guy was talking on the phone to a woman he obviously has not met and is speaking to for the first time. I think that he got her contact info from some type of online dating site.

He says, and I quote: "I have booty calls on speed dial so thats not why I'm talking to you."

Surprisingly he is not hung up on. The conversation continues with him asking "Where are you from?"

Following her response I hear the following:

"New Orleans! I'm in New Orleans right now!"

We were of course in downtown Atlanta.

Winner!!!

An Update is in Order

Well I guess it's been long enough without a real update. Might as well say whats going on in our lives.

We left to go to Alberta for Christmas early on December 23. Upon arriving at the airport we were curtly told that we were being taken off of the Chicago leg of our flight and put on a flight through Denver. This was to delay our arrival in Edmonton by 2 hours.

Upon arriving in Denver we were told that our airplane had not yet arrived and our flight would be delayed until they were good and ready to send us to Edmonton. Surprisingly this was only an hour delay. We arrived in Edmonton 3 hours late upset that we purposefully spent more money on our flights to avoid getting into town in the later afternoon.

Oh well. We were there and it was Christmas.

We stopped to finish up some shopping on our way to my parent's house. (We didn't really do much in terms of gifts this year. We really just got people a few trinkets from our travels and then framed some photos we've taken over the last year. Inexpensive and homemadeish gifts.)

We spent the next few days doing Christmas the way only my family can.

Loud.

Overdone.

Messy.

Gouty.

But so much fun.

It was great to be with my family again. We've been lucky this year having seen quite a bit of both sides of our family.

After Christmas it was time to head back home to Atlanta. We took a red eye arriving in Atlanta around 11 am. I was 45 minutes late for work (supposed to be there at noon but our flight was delayed out of Chicago so I didn't get there until 12:45. Oh well.)

Swell and I both worked the day we returned. We were exhausted for the next few days and have just found the time and energy to unpack and clean our house. We received lots of neat things from family from books and clothes, to Wii's and DVDs to money and souvenirs. It was a great week at home.

Since returning to Atlanta we've been working and growing to despise it here even more. Swell has gone off the deep end at work. Everyday I am required to hear story after story of what a terrible place it is.

I've had enough.

I told her that no matter what she wasn't allowed to work there past mid-February.

Luckily we officially have other work beginning mid-February. On Feb. 13th or 14th we'll be flying out of ATL to head to Nome, Alaska. We will work for three weeks and then fly to Portland, OR to visit Swell's Parents. After the amazing time we will have there we will fly out of Portland to visit Gilda in Maui.

Its a sacrifice for us but its our turn to visit. It will be tough to spend 11 days in Maui but its what we do for friends.

We're good people.

The best people.

But now I have to get into swimsuit shape. Haven't had a Dr. Pepper all year and we're eating at home more than ever before. Saves money and its better for us.

Following that visit its back to Portland for a couple of days and then we'll fly back to the ATL and have our nephew Cami come and visit for a week. Following that we'll be dirt poor and need to do two things 1) Get our place fixed up to sell and 2) Head back to Nome to work some more.

We'll be in Nome for three weeks and then off until sometime in June. After the June trip it's my sister's wedding (!?) and then off to Romania with my other sisters.

We've got a lot planned. Here's hoping we can sell our place to at least save some money, if not make some money.

We were considering going to South Africa in March but we're not now. Also considering going to a conference in London in April but I don't think we'll do that either. Too expensive.

So I've given notice at both my jobs. Easy to give notice when you're an independent contractor.

Me Hey employer. I'm not available after mid-February anymore. Nice working with you.
Employer Ok. We'll miss you.

Swell hasn't quit yet but is looking forward to doing it.

Well she wants me to do it for her... via email... because she's a scaredy cat. Doesn't like to disappoint people.

Ironically it doesn't seem to phase her that by not quitting she'll disappoint me.

We're very excited that Swell didn't get sick this Christmas. We think its because we traveled a lot less than usual and didn't go out into the wild and crazy malls.

We're also very excited to go to Nome and see what that is all about.

One of these days we're going to have to settle down.

But not until Summer 2008 is over...


at the earliest.

Ignore this post unless you're family

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JDL and PA!

Hope you both have a great day and an even better year.

RIP

Destiny,
I liked it when you sat on my lap. You were too big to sit on my lap! Swell liked it when you tackled her last Christmas. She thought you were going to stop before you got to her but you ran her right over!



RIP the best big dog we ever did know. It wasn't nice of you to leave us without warning but we'll always remember you fondly.







Sorry JDL

01/01/08

Happy New Year

and if I hear one more person say Happy New Years I will scream.

My first day of 2008 will be spent working. Yippee!

p.s. For God's sake Dick Clark, just retire already.

Work Sucks.

To the dear contact lens patient I had earlier today:

Ma'am,
With all due respect I don't care what you believe.

Surprisingly beneath these rugged good looks lies someone who went to school for a couple of days to learn about eyes and contact lenses. Even more surprising is that I try to keep up with the latest studies and findings when it comes to eyes and contact lenses.

That said if you believe that my advice is wrong, fine, but please don't have the gall to say that your beliefs supersede years of research and experience. Further it doesn't have to be a "perfect world" to assume that one will wash their hands before handling their contact lenses. Also I can and do assume that patients use their contact lens solutions according to our directions.

So to repeat what I told you earlier:
1) Wash your hands before handling your contact lens (imperfect world and all)
2) Remove your contact lenses nightly (we both know you're not going to do this)
3) If not nightly (I strongly recommend nightly removal) remove them at least once a week (we both know you're not going to do this)
4) Get a pair of glasses (I know you're not going to, you know you're not going to but we can pretend can't we?)
5) Rub your lenses with the solution rather than just putting them in solution to soak overnight.


I will see you back when your already red eyes get more red. The pain you'll be feeling when I see you back will be God's way of saying; "Boy I sure created some idiots."

Sincerely,
The guy you scowled at for 20 minutes earlier this morning.

************************************************************

I saw a patient a couple of weeks ago. This poor woman is 72. Physically she looks great but mentally she's just not doing well. I don't know how dementia is measured but she is at the top of the scale.

My exam a couple of weeks ago consisted of me doing some tests and referring her out for cataract surgery.

I saw her back the other day. She had cataract surgery on one eye the day before. I was doing her one day follow up. Broke my heart when I heard this:

"I had surgery yesterday? I don't remember coming here yesterday!"

Man with her: "We didn't come here yesterday. We went somewhere else."

Woman with tears: "I don't remember going there. I had surgery!?"

That night I happened across a tv show about people climbing Mount Everest. On this show a 71 year old Japanese man became the oldest person to summit Mount Everest.

It amazes me how their can be such disparity in the effects of aging. Here I had a woman who couldn't remember having invasive surgery the day before and a man just a year younger summited Mount Everest.

I'm grateful for my good health. I complain about my back and headaches but things could be much worse. I was hit by a car with only inconvenient after effects (The backaches, headaches, and left foot problems). My brother-in-law drove my van into a moose while I was sitting in the back seat sans seatbelt (there was no seatbelt to put on) despite the van rolling on to its side I was no worse for the wear. A classmate driving in front of a speeding truck while we were in a little sporty car left me without a scratch.

Very fortunate, very grateful for my health and the health of my family.

I don't know what my point was but I felt like telling that story.

Sleep and the Loch Ness Monster

Much like seeing the Loch Ness Monster I am finding sleep to be rather elusive. I don't have insomnia per se as I eventually fall asleep only to have poor quality sleep. I wake up more tired than when I went to sleep.

Strange.

Swell's most recent birthday present should solve the sleeping problem.

Every episode of Road to Avonlea ever. Seven seasons worth.

Nice Thanks a lot for that gift. Just kidding. Kind of. Swell likes it that's all that matters. Its ok that I'll need to sit through them as well.

We may have a place to watch those episodes. The Nome job has gone from 11 days every two months to three weeks every ? months for both of us. They also want us to do some village travel. We would get into a small plane that would fly us into a village that can only be accessed by air where we would spend a couple of days being optometrists. They have a backlog of patients so they would like us to spend three weeks up there at a time. Fine by us as it is a 32% daily raise.

Employed/independent contractor optometrists tend to be paid via a daily rate. Some jobs have built in incentives (if you see X people you get Y extra per day) but it is a daily rate none-the-less.

Currently I work only 3 and 3/4 day per week. I pick up an extra day or two when I can. Swell works five days per week.

Going to Nome we would both receive an immediate 32% raise and I would be working more per week. 5 or 6 days a week. This will allow us to relax more on our weeks off. We would still be looking for fill-in work in and around wherever we happen to be (WA, OR, or GA maybe AB) but it wouldn't kill us if we only found a day or two here and there. This in turn would allow us to concentrate on other areas of our lives.

Selling our house.
Finding a practice.
Writing.
Etc.

Seems very exciting to me.

We're just waiting for a tentative schedule to be sent to us outlining the weeks they would like us to be there.

Projected first visit would be in February.

Brrrr.

I feel.

Well, I feel like I should be posting something here.

But I've got nothing.

Nothing going on in our lives.

No changes.

Very little word on Nome, although they have expressed interest in both of us. We're waiting to hear what the rate and the proposed schedule would be. If those both meet our wishes I think we'll probably go, although it would require quitting our jobs.

Jobs we don't like.

But breaking the news to the people I work with will be tough as they are very nice people.

We have to do what is best for us though. We like working together and we like adventure.

I'm sold.

Besides it will free up some vacation time.

Hawaii?
Florida?
Romania?

Anyone interested in a 975 sq foot one bedroom/1 bath/bonus room condo in the heart of downtown Decatur?

Will sell cheap.

Stoked.

I know that it seems like I've said this a million times but as of about 9:45 tonight it became official.

I will have my re-worked thesis published by August. The paper was accepted and is slated to run in August although it may come sooner.

I'm really, really stoked.

The Weekend That Was

I wrote the following over many hours (between patients, at lunch, after work, etc.) and after posting it and reading it, it barely makes sense and I'm too lazy to fix it. C'est la vie, non?

Swell’s parents are leaving early tomorrow morning. It was a nice visit. On Sunday we celebrated Christmas with games, a continuous finger food buffet, and gifts. On our Boxing Day (Monday) we went to the aquarium and someone (ME) made a fabulous dinner and more games were played.

On Tuesday it was Swell’s birthday.

Why is it that a description of my beautiful wife’s birthday requires me to write about a multi-national corporation’s public relations, public health work and a boss who takes advantage of me?

It is necessary because I’m a fool and December 4th is Home Town Day.

What is Home Town Day? Well, that would be a billion dollar multi-national corporation’s attempt to show the people it consistently rips off that it is a good corporate citizen.

Home Town Day is one prong of Luxotica’s four pronged blitzkrieg of preventable vision impairment.

Prong 1 is regular Gift of Sight exams. In the office I work at we do 1 exam a week for free. The individual also receives free glasses from Lenscrafters/Luxotica.

Prong 2 is the Vision Van. This is a motor home/truck dealie that is equipped with two exam lanes that is used to do “eye exams” on individuals in need who are then also given free glasses from a nearby Lenscrafters.

Prong 3 is Home Town Day where a number of hours are set aside to see many needy people who are then given free glasses from Lenscrafters/Luxotica.

Prong 4 is an abomination to all that is good and is known as the Gift of Sight international programs. A huge waste of money from a public health standpoint but never ending PR for the Luxotica family.

Flashback

6 weeks ago.

Bosssss Home Town Day is December 4. Can you volunteer and see some patients that day?
Me I am going to have to kindly decline due to philosophical difficulties I have with Home Town Day.
Bosssss OK. I was just hoping you’d help out.

Saturday December 1, 2007

Bossss I’m going to give you a project that you won’t get paid for and is really beyond the realm of what an independent contractor should really do because I don’t think you’ve been busy enough lately.
Me Ok. but if you think I’m actually going to do it you’ve got another think coming.
Bossss See you next week.

10 minutes pass

Worker Bossss is on the phone for you.

Me Hello?

Bossss Home Town Day is on Tuesday. Can you come in at 9 (an hour early) and help me out? I’ll be there at 8:30am and start everything you just come in at 9 and help out.

Me Ummmm…fine.

Tuesday, December 4

Walking into the store at exactly 9 am I realize that there are about 15 homeless people sitting in the waiting room with plates full of Christmas cookies and Chick Fil A chicken nuggets waiting to be seen for their free eye exams.

I head immediately to the back office to put my things down when I am told that there are people seated in the exam rooms ready to go.

Me Where is Bossss?
Office Manager He’s not here yet.

This is where I said a few choice things about: i) A waiting room full of people, ii) The fact that I said I didn’t want to do this weeks ago, and iii) Bossss not being at the office yet.

With those appropriately chosen words I went off to see my first patient.

You should know that when I see a waiting room full of people I have a physiological change. I become very tense, my heart rate increases, I begin to sweat a little and I have trouble breathing. Basically I have a mini panic attack. So when I said my choice words I was in that state.

After seeing a bunch of these good-for-nothing, lazy, unemployed, drunken homeless people the preceding was sarcasm for those that don’t know me Bossss took me aside to make sure that I wasn’t about to quit. Apparently office manager was upset with Bossss for not being on time. Bossss is habitually late and purposefully decided to come in late on Home Town Day due to his belief that homeless people will always show up late.

They didn’t.

He did.

I was mad at Bossss.

Office manager was mad at Bossss.

Bossss was mad at office manager as office manager let Bossss have it via multiple phone calls between 8:15 and 9:15. And a curt discussion in the office at 9:15.

I assured bossss that I wasn’t about to quit but I had in fact stated my displeasure to office manager. He was slightly taken aback but the three of us had a little sit-down and worked out our differences. Well until I'm forced to participate in the next Gift of Sight program that makes its way to our great office.

How can I be opposed to a program that gives free eye exams to needy people? This program is about getting as many people through the door as possible without impacting the day-to-day operations. That means they get 5 minute exams and a kick-in-the pants along with their Christmas cookies.

I don’t mind the weekly Gift of Sight patients as they get a regular exam slot. Home Town Day patients on the other hand…


So anyway I saw a bunch of needy folks and then the real patients started to come in at 10:30. With their arrival Bossss left for his day off. Within the onslaught of real patients a few Home Town Day stragglers also came in.

Due to Bossss’s lateness, and his early departure I ended up seeing more Home Town Day patients than he did.

All this despite my earlier declaration that I didn’t want to participate.

Oh well.

By the time 7 rolled around I had been working quite steadily since 9 that morning. I was tired and grumpy due to the circumstances surrounding the day and we still needed to go out for Swell’s birthday dinner.

Next year I’ll take the day off.

Upon the sight of Swell I cheered up and we were able to enjoy a nice dinner at Dante’s Down the Hatch (a cool divey-looking fondue place). I think her parents enjoyed it although her Dad was yelled at during the cheese-fondue appetizer. (He insisted on touching the pot despite being told not to by the girl in charge of keeping our flame lit. Boy could she light a flame! His touching the pot and breaking the rules caused great concern and the exclamation of Stop It! by the two ladies at our table. This in turn caused him to want to touch the pot some more… and the saga began.)

Following way too much food we drove to a local coffee/wine bar for birthday cake. Swell had the great idea of doing this rather than buying a cake because she knows I really don’t need to have left over cake in the house. We shared three pieces of cake between the four of us… well really two pieces between the three of us and an unnamed 50 something man had a piece mostly to himself. Which was the plan.

The evening ended with Swell receiving some birthday gifts. It was a nice birthday I think. She’s old now but still really cute.

Due to her birthday and our “Christmas celebration” our lists have been amended (we'll try to add more ideas if needed.)

Sheepie
Swell

Yippee!

Today is Swell's Birthday!

Happy Birthday Swell!

BND

So here it is, Buy Nothing Day, and I'm sitting in a mall.

A mall filled to the gills with shoppers straining under the weight of their purchases.

Loaded down (looking eerily like pack mules) looking to make their next purchase.

Looking to "save" more money!

It is Black Friday.

It is the busiest shopping day on the American consumer's calender. Credit cards are melting from the non-stop swiping. Consumer debt will continue to grow today as shoppers will find those things they must have.

They can't live without.

Their homes are already full but they will find more room for more stuff.

I just spent $3.

On Buy Nothing Day.

I'm mad.

But I showed up to work at the same time as another optometrist. He wasn't supposed to be there today but everybody forgot to tell him. So being the patsy I am I volunteered to come back in a few hours and we would split the day.

So I bought a cookie.

And a drink.

I had no where else to go.

And I sit in a mall on Buy Nothing Day and ponder all of the things I've purchased in my life.

All of the things I don't need.

Like this computer.

Although I use it I'm sure Swell and I don't each need one. Yet we both have computers and all of the associated computer paraphernalia that I needed.

Ipod? Check.
PSP? Check.
External hard drives? Check.

I shaved yesterday.

If you see pictures of me throughout my adulthood you'll see stark changes in my appearance.

The less I'm enjoying "life" the more homeless I let myself look. (I'll forgo telling the story of one of the proudest moments in my life. Most of you have heard the story of the concerned couple asking my sister if she knew me, and if she thought I needed a warm meal and a place to stay. Awesome!)

Its my pseudo-rebellion against the man. I may have to participate in Western society but I won't look the part.

After a few weeks of this I invariably realize how stupid I am and clean myself up a little (although I refuse to cut my hair more than twice a year. I HATE getting my hair cut).

Swell and I have both been unhappy with where we are. Money hates us.

More accurately knowing what to do with money is difficult for us.

Do we pay loans back more quickly?
Do we give more away?
Do we give money to distant poverty stricken relatives or spend money to send them stuff?
How much do we set aside to pay our taxes?
Are we going to go to jail because our tax situation is going to be a nightmare this year (thanks in no small part to our employers purposeful misuse of us as independent contractors)?

Furthermore, we have no strong desire to be optometrists. We have no passion for optometry, although we enjoy it. It isn't our lives. It doesn't give us a great deal of purpose in life although it is quickly consuming our entire lives.

Between Swell's hideous commute and our longish work days we've become the fabulous wake up-go to work-come home-eat-sleep duo.

No friends (me=Thank God, Swell=boo hoo).
No hobbies.
No family nearby.
No direction.

I think that's why this Nome opportunity is attractive to us. Its something different. It will break us out of our doldrum.

But it does nothing to further our lives.

It doesn't help us move forward.

We've done a lot of lateral movements in the five years we've been married. Hopping from thing to thing without any long term direction.

We're trying to gain that long-term direction by opening/buying our own practice but in our selfishness (that's not really the right word...) we don't want owning a practice to cramp our other opportunities. Its a catch 22. We can't continue to live here and work for others but we can't move anywhere else and work for others as we'll go broke.

So we'll devote our lives to owning a small business and this will make the pursuit of money (not necessarily in a bad way) become a central theme of our lives. We, after all, will have bills to pay, payroll to meet, etc.

This raises a whole bunch of other questions that is difficult for us to grapple with.

Do we open on Buy Nothing Day?
Will there be a market for an optometry practice dedicated to helping eradicate poverty, injustice, and inequity? (We plan on setting aside a certain percentage of income/profit? to give to yet to be determined NGOs. We will advertise (internally) this fact.)
Is it possible to find fair trade spectacle frames? Lenses?
Will we be able to pursue other interests outside of a small business without killing ourselves or the practice?

These and other questions weigh on our hearts and minds as we scrounge to survive a life we dislike. While we continue to work for money rather than enjoyment. While we continue to live lonely lives.

So in rebellion I became homely homeless looking.

What did that accomplish? Nothing. But it felt good to rebel.

We will continue our rebellion in our Christmas gift purchases.

We will continue our rebellion by refusing to participate in the busiest shopping day of the year (aside from my cookie and drink... I suck).

We will continue our rebellion by being small business owners who own a business that treats employees fairly and desires to leave lasting change in the world.

We will continue our rebellion by trying to forgo the trappings of wealth.

We will continue our rebellion by...?

Another Day

Happy American Thanksgiving

and don't freaking call it "Turkey Day" or I'll hunt you down and hurt you.

Why Not?

A portion of an email I found in my inbox a week ago is below:

Hello Fellow Optometrists:

Anyone interested in adventure and travel?

We have recently received a unique request for OD coverage in Nome, Alaska. Yes, that is way up North. The client is looking for someone to provide optometric coverage for a period of 11 days every 6 weeks through September 2008. They will pay airfare and provide housing. The housing is within walking distance of the facility.

My thought? Why not?

Will hear more later but it would be pretty cool to do this. We'll see if we can make it work or not.

Facts

To the tech who decided to walk into my office to tell me how to do my job:

Fact 1) It doesn't take me 30 minutes to realize that an 81 year old woman with complaints of decreased vision has cataracts.
Fact 2) I spent the majority of my time in the exam room explaining to the "little old lady" that she has cataracts and new glasses would do nothing but empty her wallet.
Fact 3) The "little old lady" did not want to listen to a word I said.
Fact 4) The "little old lady" wouldn't listen to reason. I know what I'm talking about. No matter what she says new glasses are not going to help. I don't care what she believes or thinks.
Fact 5) I am not going to make my next patient wait so that I can talk to the daughter of the "little old lady" without the "little old lady's" permission. Put them in a room and I'll get to them next.
Fact 6) Don't ever, ever tell me to explain things to people, especially "little old ladies", again. If you knew anything about me or my exam techniques you would know for a fact that I educate too much. I spend far too much time educating at the end of my exams. It puts me behind.
Fact 7) I couldn't care less if this "little old lady" wants to get a second opinion. More power to her. Don't throw that out like I did something wrong. She's a stubborn old mule masquerading as a "little old lady" who won't listen to reason. I am confident that her second opinion will cost her more money as she will pay for the exam and may wind up at some unscrupulous OD's office who will change her prescription and sell her useless glasses.
Fact 8) I know its hard to believe but in addition to my rugged good looks I have a brain and I know how to use it so you can rest assured I don't need you to tell me how to interact with patients or how to do my job.



Oh and I should add:

To the jackasses selling Christmas trees today.

Really? Are you serious?

Still doing little to nothing exciting in life.

It will soon be Swell's big 3-0.

Her folks are coming to help her celebrate. They will be here on the first.

On Swell's Birthday we'll probably go to a restaurant not far from where I work and then to a lounge downtown that spins and gives 360 degree views of Atlanta.

We'll also do our Xmas with her folks while they are here. We'll exchange gifts, have some sort of "Xmas meal", and play games. Unfortunately we only have a couple days off with them and we can't afford/are not able to take time off. It will be a jam packed visit but should be fun.

Looking into a unique part-time job opportunity. Will find out much more in the next few days but suffice it to say:

1) Employer pays airfare
2) Employer provides housing
3) Work 2 weeks every 2 months
4) Lasts until next September
5) Need warm clothes

I always jump at things that sound fun and exciting but this one would require a lot of things to fall into place to make it work.

We're looking forward to our time off at Christmas and our time in E'Town. It never seems like Christmas time around here. No snow. Warmish weather and nothing to excite us. Although this year, unlike last year, we'll be decorating our house for Christmas.

We didn't last year because we left the country shortly after Christmas. This year we'll decorate on Thanksgiving because we both work before and after.

I'm just sitting at one of my gigs doing nothing but feeling guilty as my "employer" is seeing patients and I'm doing nothing. Oh, well. Not my fault. If he wasn't busy enough to keep me busy he shouldn't have hired me.

I hope it gets busier so that I can keep this job at least.

The Internet is Pretty Cool

Not much going on in Atlanta these days. We're still working.

We're still breathing.

That's about all we're doing.

Although on Tuesday we were able to go to a hockey game for free. It was fun.

We saw the Atlanta Thrashers beat the Washington Capitols 2-1 in overtime. I'm not entirely sure how we got the tickets.

I know they were given to us by one of my employers. I know that he got them from a local Ophthalmologist. I don't know how the ophthalmologist got them.

Are they the practice's tickets that they give out to various optometrists as a thank-you for referrals?

Were they given to the ophthalmologist from a pharmaceutical company and then passed down the food chain?

Are they the ophthalmologists personal tickets and he just couldn't use them?

I don't know and I don't really care.

Swell and I were joined by the office manager and his friend as no-one else from the office could go. We were sitting directly across from one of the goal posts about 3 rows up from the glass. We had our own personal waiter although the food was not free.

Well it was but it wasn't.

As I reached for my wallet to pay for our hot dogs and drinks the office manager pulled out the company credit card and we ate for "free". Good times.

It made us want to go to more games because they're fun. We'll see if we actually pay for something though.

I don't like to pay for things.

I like free things.

Many of you will remember that before this incarnation of our "blog" we had a different one. We did not do a very good job at keeping that "blog" unidentifiable.

A few weeks ago a fellow Swell works with had the following exchange with her.

Swell: You're making me angry. Stop it. I'll figure it out.
Guy: If anyone should be angry it should be me! I read what you wrote on your blog.
Swell: What? What blog? We have three of them. What are you talking about?
Guy: You wrote it just before you left to go to Palestine.
Swell: Was what we wrote a lie? What are you talking about?
Guy: I could have said something about this when I first saw you but I bit my tongue...

aside. The funny thing is he may have bit his tongue then but he was waiting for a time to bring this up. It was eating at his very soul.

...I wouldn't say it was untrue but I would say that people have different opinions about things.

Swell: Well I don't know what you're talking about but I do know that I didn't write it. It was my husband.
Guy: I know it was your husband.
Swell: How did you get it.
Guy: Some one printed it off and gave it to me.

Someone PRINTED IT OFF AND GAVE IT TO HIM!

Swell: Who.
Guy: I'm not going to tell.

Now this is the funniest thing. Someone took the time to print off one of our posts and show it to him after we had departed Atlanta. His talking about this made us want to go back and read what we I wrote.

I stand by it, although it seems a little mean. When I apologized to Swell for getting her in trouble she didn't care. She stands by it as well. Hopefully, we have done a better job of keeping this one from being found by those we don't want to see it, although we continue to stand by whatever we've written here as well.

Here is a portion of what was written:

Person "1" is by far the most annoying. I'm thinking specifically of a guy named [his name was written here]... a co-worker of Swell's. Suffice it to say he is an ass. Not just about this but about everything he ever does. He's mean, arrogant, and cruel. The funny thing, to me, is that he has absolutely nothing to be arrogant about. He has a terrible job at which he does a terrible job. He has a miserable life - mostly thanks to himself - yet he treats everyone he meets with great contempt. He thought it necessary to scare Swell all day at work yesterday by saying BOOM . To get her "used to hearing the bombs". Luckily for Swell her work experience this year has been limited with this guy. She was very fortunate to be transferred out of his store. But by trying to scare Swell (in two ways at that) I nominate him for jack ass of the year. I am sure he will receive a plethora of votes. I think his saying that she should get used to hearing the bombs speaks loudly to his intelligence (read lack of).

Oops.

But Ha, Ha!

When reading this post over Swell and I began to wonder how we could go about saving all those posts for posterity's sake. I was searching the internet and found a program someone devised that would take every post we made and convert it to a PDF file along with all the comments people left.

He made the program to be used for free, although I did donate some money for his troubles. So we have saved all our posts but I'm currently trying to do it again because none of the pictures came through. If the pictures never come through I'm still really stoked that someone took the time to make this program for donations only. It's really cool and we're happy to have those 18 months saved.

So to the internet gurus out there I salute you.

My computer may not be long for this world as the monitor is having intermittent seizures. It will get all dark and then the monitor will begin to flash at a relatively rapid pace.

Maybe I'll get a free replacement?

Christmas list redux

Ok.

This is a post for family only. Why don't I email them? Because I don't have any family email addresses or regular addresses or phone numbers for that matter.

Presents from us will be limited for a variety of reasons including our my growing disdain for consumerism (so feel free to ignore my list altogether), our desire to move (and consequently strained budget), our inability to travel with 100 pounds of gifts (and the Canadian Government's desire to tax us on gifts we bring in).

Please budget your gift buying accordingly.

If you are even considering going into debt to buy us a gift we would, yet again, prefer to buy you a coffee and doughnut from Tim Horton's while we're there.

When looking at our lists please be advised that there are comments about the gift on some of our items. They will explain some of the reasoning behind our request.

Again. Nothing is often better than something. You are going to get closer to nothing than something from us and we expect (nay demand) tit for tat.

While we're on a "family only" post I'd like to wish my parents an enjoyable seeing animals being tortured week. We know you enjoy the rodeo every year and hope that this year the animals win at least some of the battles.

I'm just kidding about the animal torture. I really couldn't care less about what happens to those poor fuzzy little bulls/horses/sheep/goats/chickens/dogs/whatever

Works in progress...

We HATE doing this.

Hate with a passion.

Dislike.

It causes us great pain to do this.

But here they are. They will be updated when the mood strikes us.

We expect nothing. We hope for less.

Swell's
Sheepie's

Remember, remember the fifth of November

"Good evening, London.

Allow me first to apologize for this interruption. I do, like many of you, appreciate the comforts of every day routine- the security of the familiar, the tranquility of repetition. I enjoy them as much as any bloke. But in the spirit of commemoration, thereby those important events of the past usually associated with someone's death or the end of some awful bloody struggle, a celebration of a nice holiday, I thought we could mark this November the 5th, a day that is sadly no longer remembered, by taking some time out of our daily lives to sit down and have a little chat.

There are of course those who do not want us to speak. I suspect even now, orders are being shouted into telephones, and men with guns will soon be on their way. Why? Because while the truncheon may be used in lieu of conversation, words will always retain their power. Words offer the means to meaning, and for those who will listen, the enunciation of truth. And the truth is, there is something terribly wrong with this country, isn't there? Cruelty and injustice, intolerance and oppression. And where once you had the freedom to object, to think and speak as you saw fit, you now have censors and systems of surveillance coercing your conformity and soliciting your submission.

How did this happen? Who's to blame? Well certainly there are those more responsible than others, and they will be held accountable, but again truth be told, if you're looking for the guilty, you need only look into a mirror. I know why you did it. I know you were afraid. Who wouldn't be? War, terror, disease. There were a myriad of problems which conspired to corrupt your reason and rob you of your common sense...

...More than four hundred years ago a great citizen wished to embed the fifth of November forever in our memory. His hope was to remind the world that fairness, justice, and freedom are more than words, they are perspectives. So if you've seen nothing, if the crimes of this government remain unknown to you then I would suggest you allow the fifth of November to pass unmarked. But if you see what I see, if you feel as I feel, and if you would seek as I seek, then I ask you to stand beside me one year from tonight, outside the gates of Parliament, and together we shall give them a fifth of November that shall never, ever be forgot." - V (V for Vendetta)

Send money and new jobs*

Leave
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Depart: 7:24am Atlanta, GA
Arrive: 12:33pm Edmonton, Canada

Return
Friday, December 28, 2007
Depart: 12:25am Edmonton, Canada
Arrive: 9:40am Atlanta, GA

*Kidding about the money. Not so much about the jobs

Halloween for Cheapies

We live in a condo building.

140 units.

We are cheap.

We did wander the halls of all 6 floors tonight.

We did collect candy.



Yummy, yummy candy.