Romania in Pictures

So I thought I'd add some pictures to the previous blog posts regarding Romania. Please note that I prefer pictures of people rather than things. Please also note that I really attempted to be a photographer this trip. That is I only used manual settings on the camera and because I'm still below amateur status many of the pictures are mediocre at best. But I had fun and that's what counts!

Getta and some of her cats:


Tataia and his alcohol apricots


Old and New


Mamaia watering the garden


Wagon at dusk


Cemetery at dusk


Swell and Granny at dusk


If we were rich we'd buy one of these kit houses for Swell's family for the country


Funniest picture ever! Swell and her great aunt (its just the perspective...)


Swell, Mamaia and Tataia


Swell, Getta and the illegally imported flowers


Swell and Tataia at his bloc.


Is it true?


The Negoita family on their porch (minus the sleeping Vlad)


Surprisa Surprisa


Good food grown in the Negoita garden


Vlad


Swell and Vlad


Looking at pictures


Swell and Alex


Old in the new (cliche picture but I like it)


Swell and Tataia's woman


Pupa-ma (Zumi and Getta with Swell yelling NOOOO!)


The Good One and Getta


I can't believe they came


Playing dice with Mamaia and Getta




Tataia and Swell


On the porch in Danesti


Swell with her great relatives


The whole group


The girls at Peles


A first for me


Walking up to the citadel (they were laying the paving stones by hand while we were there!) Get an education kids to avoid back breaking work like that.


Old lady


The four of us


On a train


Hildy, Swell and the newly returned Sheepie Jr.


The Good One and Hildy in Cluj


Hildy, Swell, Zumi and the Good One resting from a big climb in Cluj


More pictures can be found here: (click on Getta - then click on pictures to enlarge.)

Romania 2008

All are labeled. Zumi and The Good One we have many, many more. I'll work on getting the best together so you can choose any if you want them.

Dagnabit

I went to work today.

It was fun

Patient "You need a haircut."

Me outoud "uh huh."

Me not-outloud Dagnabit. I freaking got a haircut YESTERDAY and thought it looked pretty good. I hate people. Muchly.

Sauna

We're back at home.

I don't have the energy to say much other than the flights were fine. We are home safely. It is beyond unbearably hot here. One step out the door and it feels like you're in a sauna. Hot and humid.

All in all a fun trip but now its time to get some work done.

More later.

Praha

We're here in Praha (Prague) and will be until August 6 (?). I'm sitting in KFC (only WiFi restaurant I could find) and listening to a bunch of Japanese tourists singing Happy Birfday and being completely obnoxious.

Yippee.

I don't have much to write as we haven't done much and I'm sure the other three folks are wondering what happened to me (it took a LONG time to find this internet connection).

It is brutally hot.

We are in a nice apartment without AC or doors. Well there are three doors but none between the rooms. Zumi is sleeping in the living room on half a bed. The Good One is up in a loft that is really an attic. It comes complete with those attic ladder stairs every house has. Not really meant for going up and down a whole bunch.

"Should we cross the street now or go up a block?"

"Let's go up a block so that we can walk past the sex shop. See it has [reading from a sign] movies, DVDs, magazines, adult toys and ...

... a pharmacy!?"

Laughter ensues.

Title

I’m struck with the notion that I have to write something. I have to update. It’s not necessarily a want at this point but a have to. Writing these things – as poor as they are – requires me to be in a certain frame of mind.

The topic, the way in which I write it often percolates in my mind for days before it reaches you, the reader, in my little corner of the internet. A lot has been percolating for the past few days but very little of it interesting. Much of it depressing.

Sure we’re having a good time. Its been nice to be on vacation but at some point vacation becomes too much. Swell and I have been away from home for four weeks now. Before that we were away for nine. So out of the last 13.5 weeks we’ve been home for less than three days.

The first 9 weeks of being away from home didn’t bother me a whole bunch as we were doing something. We were working. We were being constructive members of society. The first two and a half weeks of our vacation were also ok as we were accomplishing something – visiting friends and family. The past week has been more difficult as we’re just spending money without giving anything back.

But I have to update.

We are, after all, staying in a hostel that is right upstairs from a coffee shop that has WiFi.

WiFi that works only when you’re in the coffee shop (or standing on the sidewalk nearby to the coffee shop but that would be stealing and I would NEVER do that).

So I have to update because we’re close to an internet source for now. We’re actually leaving tomorrow morning for Prague and I’m not sure what the internet situation will be like there so it would be best to update sooner rather than later.

Sometimes when I update I like to come up with a clever title for the update. A title that will express the majority of the post in just a few words. This allows the ADD among us to get the gist of the post without actually having to focus for more than a few seconds.

As I pondered this update I was struck with a great number of titles. All of which would work just dandily.

You call that a milkshake?
Budapest will be open during construction
Sure it looks old but how old is it really?
Hungry in Hungary
If this is a vacation why is everyone crying?
Stairway to Heaven
Three Strikes and You’re Out… But I Don’t Want to be Out!


Each title corresponds to a little bit of our time in Budapest. I decided why not use each title and tell each part of our vacation here separately.

You call that a milkshake?

Part of many vacations is the indulgence of frou-frou drinks. Zumi and the Good One tried to do this in Romania. I should mention that their frou-frou drinks were non-alcoholic because that’s the type of crazy people they are.

Gilda took us to a restaurant in Cluj that she remembered had very good tea. Now both Zumi and The Good One like tea.

They decided against the tea in favour of some weird non-alcoholic concoctions. Zumi’s was ok.

The Good One’s? After one sip she stated it was sour – like it had bad grapefruit juice in it. Zumi tried it and concurred. A few minutes later the drink began to separate with many, many odd and disgusting layers forming.

Swell complained. The waitress stated, “That’s the way the drink is supposed to be.”

Of course it is.

In Budapest I decided I was in the mood for a milkshake. I ordered one.

The waiter brought it out.

It was warm milk. Not steamed milk, just room temperature milk with a little froth on top. I sipped it. Was disgusted.

The waitress came by as we were discussing this weird drink and said; “My colleague is not doing a good job today. That has no strawberry in it at all!”

She took my warm milk milkshake away from me.

And brought out a warm milk milkshake with a little red tinge to it and said; “Here you go. That should be better.”

It wasn’t. It was still disgusting. But unlike the Good One I drank it.

Swell doesn’t learn from past mistakes. She didn’t take from our experiences, rather she completely ignored them AND my pleas for her to “remember the milkshake!”

She was in the mood for a smoothie type beverage. The café below our hostel has very good coffee (or so I’m told).

While Swell was drinking one of these very good coffees she saw one of the wait staff make a smoothie looking concoction.

Somewhere deep down her soul said “We must have one of those.”

She was expecting a Jamba Juice type smoothie full of ice and yogurt and berries and goodness. Not only did she waltz up to the table the next day but she sat down with aplomb and had the audacity to order not a regular smoothie but a super-duper LARGE smoothie.

What she got was a warm sludge of blackberry juice and seeds.

She hardly drank any.

I resisted the urge to say “I told you so” until I said “I told you so.”

Budapest will be open during construction

Apparently the three metro lines Budapest currently has are not enough. They are building a fourth. Furthermore, they are doing something or another with pipes. Every street that we walk on is torn up. Every sidewalk is closed at some place or another. There is construction everywhere.

Interestingly our Botel was in the middle of nowhere and quiet. Our hostel is in the middle of everywhere and here in the middle of everywhere construction starts at the crack of 7:30 am.

Jackhammers, front loaders, dump trucks, shouting, beeping, hammering, and so on.

Now 7:30 am is not all that early but when stuff doesn’t open until 10 am its nice to sleep past 7:30.

But alas.

Sure it looks old but how old is it really?

I’m embarrassed to say that my knowledge of Hungary and its history was severely lacking prior to our visit here.

When we were told by Zumi and the Good One that they wanted to cut short their long promised visit to Romania by going to Budapest and Prague we were like totally thinking “Why?”

Long story short – Hungary is old and has had a terrible history (as I’m sure most of you know).

Its modern history has been one of destruction with upwards of 80% of Budapest’s building being damaged in WW II.

Many of the historical sites suffered extensive damage during the war.

One of the main questions that needs to be answered at every tour or visit is “What was the extent of the damage to this building? Am I looking at something that has been repaired or something that was spared destruction?”

Hungry in Hungary

The food in Hungary…

Hit and miss.

A lot of misses unfortunately (see the drink fiasco).

What’s more is that the service, although kind, is S-L-O-W.

I know that’s a cultural thing but its annoying. We North Americans want to rush through our meals and get on our way. Getting the bill is a chore and requires an ever changing routine of hand signals, winks, head nods, and grunts.

When the bill comes it costs somewhere in the neighbourhood of 10,000 fts for the four of us.

With nary a calculator in sight we are able to calculate how much each of us owes and then convert it into dollars to see if we can afford the next meal.

Most of us cannot.

The food is often mediocre as we eat in touristy areas where the food doesn’t have to be stellar. They aren’t banking on return visits.

About 20% of the time we get something that we didn’t want or the description in the menu was not translated, how should we say… correctly.

We’ve been eating a lot of oil.

One positive meal story.

Swell and I have been to Budapest before.

But we were only here for about 10 hours. A couple of years ago we took the train from Romania (Brasov) to Italy (Venice). This required an overnight in Budapest.

We got off the Romania train and fell into the arms of a hostel dealer.

He whispers to all who pass, “Need a room?”

I said yes.

He took us to a room.

Across the street from said room was a restaurant.

We ate there and enjoyed it immensely. Expensive but traditional food with music and ambience.

We wanted to treat the girls to this experience so we all put on our Sunday finest (Ha!) and I deduced how to refind this restaurant with great success but no small amount of I-don’t-want-to-look-stupid-in-front-of-Ms. Directions are my game-the-Good-One stress. I looked on the map. The restaurant was far, far away. I knew it was far but this was FAR. I said maybe we shouldn’t, Swell said; “YES WE SHOULD” so we walked to the metro, took the metro and were soon at the restaurant.

And it was good.

Pictures when we get home but it was outstanding food and the music was there and the ambience was nice.

If this is a vacation why is everyone crying?

Remember I was ignorant of Hungary/Budapest history and why anyone would want to visit here.

So we let Zumi and The Good One plan our time here.

Little did we know.

We went to Europe’s largest Synagogue (2nd largest in the world in size but equal in capacity to the largest). Also attached to the Synagogue was a memorial garden and a museum regarding Jewish history in Hungary/Budapest.

Synagogue was great. Great tour guide. Dumb California chick asked her what the difference between Judaism and the predominant Hungarian religion was. She answered it deftly.

Then the memorial garden, which as it turns out, is home to 24 mass graves with a total of 3000 and some Jews in it.

During WW II Hungary was able to avoid German occupation (basically by doing as they were told) until 1944. The Jews in Hungary had many rights taken away but for the most part avoided the worst… until 1944. In less than a year a ghetto was created in Budapest into which thousands and thousands of Jews were forced to live. Within this ghetto was the synagogue that we were visiting.

From 1944 to the end of the war 600,000 of about 800,000 Hungarian Jews were killed. The mass graves were created because when the ghetto was walled off the Jewish cemeteries were on the wrong side of the wall. Of the thousands in the graves there were very few grave markers meaning most of the dead were unidentified.

The museum guide was also very good. He was a survivor of WW II being 5 when it ended. Told a lot of good stories about Jewish tradition as he showed us old artifacts, etc.

Eventually he led us to the last room of the museum, which was dedicated to the Holocaust.

Enough said.

The next day as a pick me up we decided to visit Terror House. A museum located in a large building on a very beautiful street in Budapest. It was at one time the headquarters of the Arrowcross (Hungary’s Nazi party during the latter part of the war) and then to the secret police during communism.

Within this building many horrible, horrible things occurred. Torture, killings, imprisonment, etc.

The museum was well done but throughout the exhibits they showed documentary films of interviews with survivors of both the holocaust and communism.

Enough said.

Stairway to Heaven

Hostel rooms on the fifth floor.

Elevator no work for three days.

Up.

Down.

Up.

Down.

All museums on many levels.

No elevator.

Up.

Down.

Castle HILL.

Up.

Down.

Subway is, well, sub ground.

Up.

Down.

We’ve walked more stairs this week than I could ever have imagined.

Anymore and we’ll all be dead.

Three Strikes and You’re Out… But I Don’t Want to be Out!

When you go to Budapest you have to see the Parliament building. Its fantastic.

So says everyone.

So says the guidebook.

First day.

Lets go for the 2 o’clock tour!

Arrive at 1:30 pm.

Why that’s quite a long line for the tour. Wait. No that’s a line to buy tickets! Nobody or book warned us of this.

Maybe there is still time.

Sweet we’re at the front of the line. We’ll walk over to the ticket window.

Four for the 2 o’clock tour in English please.

It’s sold out!? Oh well. We’ll buy tickets for the 9 am tour tomorrow.

You can’t sell tickets for the next day!?

We should just come back at 8!?

We’re here to buy tickets. Its 8:15… wait why is there a line for tickets again. Its early.

Look there. A little sign. What does it say?

There is a power outage!? The tours may or may not proceed today?

Forget it. Lets go do something else and try again tomorrow.

Its 8:30 am. No line for tickets. You have some available for 9am! With that really, really dreamy male tour guide? Awesome.

Its how much!?

Its how long!?

That much for that little?

Ok. We’ll take four.

Great tour. Great guide. Didn’t get his number. Shoots.

Well

Well?

Well! It’s about time.

Well, it’s not about time.

It’s about lights.

Of the low and high kind.

And it’s about trains.

Romanian trains.

Trains that are “trains” and train employees that make little girls cry.

And then it’s about Hungary and hotels that are boats or more accurately “Botels” that are hotels and Botels are hotels that make little girls cry.

The day came that Swell’s visit with her Bucharest/Pantelimon family came to an end.

The plan for this day was simple – catch a taxi to the train station take a train to Sinai where we had a hotel already booked.

Easy enough plan.

And the execution was surprisingly simple.

Swell spent a great number of days trying to find the perfect hotels in our different locations. A great number of annoying days but she did a great job.

The hotel in Sinai was perfectly situated. Very near Peles Castle and near enough to the Tele Gondola.

Peles Castle is really more mansion than castle and was the summer home of Romania’s monarchy (four kings in total with the fourth still alive today but not in Romania as he was exiled during communism).

We acted like big shots by buying the more expensive tour ticket that included the regular tour and a special pass to visit the bedrooms on the upper level. It was a really great tour and although rain threatened throughout the morning it didn’t hit until late afternoon.

And when the rain hit it hit hard.

We were sitting at the bottom of the mountains in the town of Sinai when a very heavy (VERY HEAVY) rain started. It continued for quite some time trapping us under the umbrella at the dessert shop we had stopped at.

There were some lightening bolts throughout the storm but one in particular created a thunderclap so loud that we all jumped out of our chairs. The lightening must have struck very nearby as the restaurant and the shop next to it lost power.

Very scary.

We ended up calling a taxi and we had to run through the heavy rain.

Narrowly avoiding being swept away by the river of water running down the street and sidewalks we headed back to the hotel.

I was a bit afeared during this cab ride as the front window of the taxi was so fogged over I couldn’t see out the front. The taxi driver must have been driving by memory rather than sight.

At our really nice hotel we sat around playing canasta before bed.

The next day included a very long hike up a mountain to a Gondola that we took up to 1400 m where it was freezing cold and windy and foggy.

We hiked back down and went to the train station to move further along our tour.

And here is where train stories must be told.

Trains for most people who grew up in the western part of North America evoke a romantic picture of people lounging in quaint sleeping and dining cars as the train chug-chugs through snow capped mountains and rushing rivers plunging down spectacular waterfalls.

In Romania trains are divided, much like society, into two classes. The haves and the havesalittlemores. The train company didn’t think much of those classes so they took up less descriptive, more bland names – 1st class and 2nd class.

The difference between the classes is less than you might think. About 33% more money will buy you two less seats in your compartment but an equal amount of filth and stink.

A steal!

So first class has 6 seats in each compartment and second class has 8 seats.

8 big enough seats or 6 roomy seats?

8 people trying to squish luggage of all kinds into one compartment or 6 people trying to squish luggage of all kinds into one compartment?

For the first train we chose 1st class.

For other trains we went back and forth. Basically 1st class for long trips. 2nd for short.

As a train pulls up in Romania the uninitiated often gasp.

“We’re going on that!?”

Swell and I?

“That’s about typical for Romania eh Swell?”

“Why yes it is dear – oh how was I so lucky as to marry you? – I’m sure glad it’s not the train we took in Egypt! That was horrible with a capital ORRIBLE.”

“Why I agree beautiful!”

Smooch. Smooch.

The trains are old. I assume they have been in use since communism and no one has bothered to replace them.

The paint is peeling off of them. Windows are dirty and scratched.

Inside is no better than the outside.

The seats have never been cleaned. They are in desperate need of reupholstering. The drapes – if they are still there – are frayed and a completely different colour than they began.

Ick on top of ick in the train.

But it’s cheaper and seems safer than riding in a car or bus.

But you run the risk of breaking down.

Which we did.

On the way from Sinia to Brasov.

We were to meet some of Swell’s family in Brasov – their home. This is her Dad’s side.

Some really nice folks who would treat us like royalty. Feed us mightily nightly and drive us around as if they were our private chauffeurs.

It was great.

Brasov is not a great distance from Sinia and it seemed to us that the schedule the train followed would take far more time than the distance would indicate.

As the train chugged we noted that it was moving slower than most trains. Ah ha! This is why it would take longer. It’s a slow train.

The train slowed more and more until it came to a stop.

Red light?

The train stopped moving and then the engine stopped engine-ing.

After 15 minutes the conductor came through saying that the engine broke down and that it would be 20 minutes to before we were up and running.

An hour later - minus a few people who jumped off the train to hitchhike the rest of the way – we were on our way again.

The really good train story doesn’t actually involve a train.

It involves a train schedule.

And Swell.

And Romanians.

We were going from Sighisoara to Sibiu. (We went to Sighisoara after 3 full and wonderful days in Brasov.)

Sighisoara is a small town with a lot to do but it is small.

And a little out of the way.

And our route was a little odd because we scheduled around the arrival of our friend Gilda who would be in Sibiu and Cluj toward the end of our Romania stay.

Upon arriving in Sighisoara we decided it would be prudent to buy our train tickets out for the next day.

Swell, being the only one who speaks Romanian, would do all the ticket purchases.

She, being the wise woman she is, went to the purchase tickets window. She asked the woman selling tickets how we could get from where we were to where we were going.

The response? A computer screen with teeny-tiny print on it listing all trains from here to there with connections and total trip times in different columns. Some rows were red. Some black.

The line behind Swell was not all that short. The ticket seller not all that patient so she makes the wise decision to ask “Can you print that screen so I can study it?”

“No.”

“How long does it take to get from here to there?”

“Go to the information counter!”

Because there was no direct train and the connections were a little funky Swell thought a bus might be a better option.

So she asked a dude on the street where the bus station was.

He looked her up and down and said “I suggest you take the train.”

And that was good enough for us. Train it was. Paging information counter lady!

The information counter lady was not a fount of information although I believe she had ants in her pants.

She couldn’t sit in her chair for more than a few minutes before she was up and scurrying to the back office for various lengths of time.

It didn’t matter if there was a line, a mob, or it was completely empty she would find her way away from her post as frequently as she could.

Which was a lot.

The info lady went over the options with Swell. Basically she was told we could choose from a very early train (6:30 am) and get there at 9 am with a 30 minute layover at another station. There was also a 9:00 am train that would layover in the same city and get us there at noon as well (BINGO!) the last train would be an evening train and we didn’t even consider it.

Swell thought that the Bingo train would be perfect. We would get to our destination at a good time and wouldn’t have to be up particularly early.

So with info in mind she returned to the purchase counter where she was told to “go back to info-lady and buy from her! She already knows what you want.”

Sigh.

One flaw in Swell’s plan. She was told that the noon train doesn’t run on Sundays. But she was confused and misunderstood what that meant and said “book the Bingo train!”

And she got her tickets and they would have us in to Sibiu at 2 pm. No good as we were arriving in Sibiu on a Sunday and everything touristy is closed on Mondays. We needed to be there in time to see some stuff.

You see, the Bingo train ran from Sighisoara at 9:00 am but its connection to get us there at noon didn’t run on Sundays. Swell thought that there was a Noon train from Sighisoara to the connection city that didn’t run on Sundays and, therefore, didn’t care as Bingo would get us there.

Swell hadn’t left the counter when she realized our arrival in was so late but Romanians being Romanians felt, heard, and sensed a pause in her dealings with the ticket lady and pounced. Elbows flying every which way forced Swell away from the counter and she was unable to rectify the problem.

She fought her way back to the Information lady but between others and the info lady’s frequent breaks it took a while.

Swell showed the woman the discrepancy but was yelled at and told that she was told that the noon train didn’t run on Sundays so tough luck.

“Can we change out tickets?”

“Go to the purchase counter!”

Purchase lady was busy working with some yellers from America and it looked like it would take a while so she went back to info to get yelled at.

Info lady ended up sending her back to purchase lady to get tickets stamped for change as info lady was adamant that tickets couldn’t be torn up and reissued.

Puchase lady ended up stamping the tickets which, apparently, is all that needs to be done to change train reservations in Romania and was asked; “when does the train leave exactly? when and where and how long is the connection?”

“Go back to info lady for that info”.

Info lady don’t much like giving out info. She was very mad exclaiming that she showed Swell this info many times and Swell should know it by now.

At this point both Swell and info lady were done with each other. There were raised voices on both sides and info lady was M-A-D that Swell had dared to bother her so many times.

Swell insisted on poking the bear by continuing to ask if she could get the new schedule printed off or written as our tickets still bore the old information and new tickets cannot be issued (apparently it’s a sin).

By this time I had the information memorized and I told Swell to forget it but yelling and screaming continued and the info lady used her vast knowledge to disparage Swell’s friends and family.

Tickets in hand we walked out to the cab that had been waiting patiently for 15 minutes or so and Swell hopped into the front seat to guide the cabbie and she started to cry.

Because she was dealing with Romanians.

And worse than that Romanian train people.

Who are lazy.

And can’t cancel tickets or write down schedules or be polite.

Or helpful.

And we did what people do in Sighisoara. And we got up early the next morning to take our train to Sibiu and did what people do in Sibiu and we waited for Gilda’s phone call.

And we hung out with Gilda while Zumi (JDL’s new nickname as coined by Swell) and the Good One walked around on their own looking for a McDonald’s and a movie theater so that they could escape the fact that they were still in Romania.

And Gilda was kind and nice even though she was dealing with some issues. (She leads a team that works in a camp for orphans/poor kids two weeks every summer. Some of her team came to Romania early to tour and there was a lost backpack incident that Gilda had to resolve – among other things.)

And Gilda took us by luxury motor coach to Cluj – her hometown. And she showed us around and found us free housing at her aunts and it was fun and we enjoyed her company and then we left.

Early in the morning.

On a train.

For Budapest.

Where Zumi had booked a hotel on a boat.

A “Botel”.

But it was further from the city center than she thought.

But it was quaint.

But quaint to me means dirty to Swell.

And far from the city center means less fun for us.

As Swell gets tired.

And Swell didn’t want to have to walk to the bus stop (not a short walk) every morning and walk back from the bus stop every night. (A very, very nice Budapest woman showed us the way to the bus stop the only time we did it. If she hadn’t we’d still be looking.)

And Swell didn’t want to take the bus (much longer than the advertised 10 minutes) to the start of the city center every day only to have to catch something else somewhere else because doing those things would tucker her out before we even started seeing stuff.

So Swell cried because the Botel wasn’t going to work for her but we didn’t want to disappoint Zumi or anyone else. But Zumi said it would be ok to leave the Botel if we could find something closer for not much more money.

So we took the long walk to the bus stop (thanks again nice Budapest woman).

And we took the long bus ride to the city center.

And we made the VERY long walk to the train station (oops – shoulda taken a bus) shortly after we arrived at the Botel.

And Swell went to the Hotel/Hostel/Tourist Info place and talked to a guy who gave her some options.

And she chose – cheap and in the center.

And it is cheaper and in the centerer than the Botel.

But it’s not a Botel it’s a hostel.

With a button.

With a bell printed on it.

With a Hungarian word above it.

In red.

With an exclamation point.

But we were told to “push the bell. The girl she’s coming”.

So I pushed it.

And we nearly died.

Of fright.

Because pushing the button with the bell on it with the Hungarian writing in red (with an exclamation point!) above it turns on five large industrial fans two floors above our heads causing excessive noise and a disconcerting rushing of wind up the winding stair case.

A veritable hurricane.

Probably the wrong button because it didn’t make the girl come.

But it made me pee my pants.

Because, and I don’t know how to express this through the written word, it was scary.

Very, very scary.

Hitting a moose in a red and white 1970 VW bus scary.

But the girl she did eventually come and we got our hostel.

With cold water.

But no hot.

And it wasn’t the ripoff we expected.

A surprise because the guy who owns it is the same guy who was manning the Hotel/Hostel/Tourist info booth when Swell went in to find a new place.

And he’s Romanian.

You just can’t get away from it.

No matter how hard you try.

Edited

The previous post has now been edited with an additional few days. I put it at the end of that post so that those who haven't read the previous one wouldn't be reading out of order. Just scroll down to the break if you've already read the first part.

Thanks

Perfectly Pleasant

Today was the tagger alongers first full day in Romania. It started at the hotel by the airport. We slept in a little bit allowing the girls to catch up on their sleep. Waking up was followed by the short jaunt down the stairs to have an early lunch in the hotel restaurant.

This would be their first introduction to Romanian restaurant food.

Romanian restaurant food is among the least imaginative in the world. If you were to walk on a street with 10 restaurants on it and pick one randomly you would have seen them all. Schnitzel (chicken and pork), maize with sour cream, soup, odd salads and pizza seems to cover restaurant offerings. Most of the time if you order a meat dish you are left to order a side separately.

Service for the most part is fair to poor with the servers having a “why did you come disturb me” attitude.

This restaurant was nice looking. Clean. On the small side.

The food was good. Swell is often excited at Romanian restaurants because they have some traditional Romanian foods. She is often left disappointed by the food as it is not as good as her Mother or Grandmother make.

After lunch we caught a cab and headed to Pantelimon. The plan for this day was to take it really easy to allow the girls to acclimatize and get over any jet lag they might be experiencing.

We would introduce them to Swell’s Grandma and Getta.

With plenty of warning about Getta’s incessant desire to kiss anything that walks through her door the girls wound up in Pantelmion amidst the mud and the stink and the garbage.

Greetings were had and Getta was much calmer than either Swell or I had ever imagined she would be (that wouldn’t last long).

Eventually Getta began to jump around and squeal with excitement that Juuuudy and Sooon-eeeee-jaaa were here. She was sure to kiss them on each cheek and I believe even kissed The Good One’s arm a few times.

In keeping with the lets get acquainted theme of the day we decided to take the maxi-taxi to Cora to get some supplies and introduce the girls to the worst that Romania has to offer.

We walked with them, Getta and Grandma in tow, through the dust and the dirt and the mud and the garbage and the dogs and the stink to the maxi-taxi stop.

I was BITTERLY disappointed to see the larger version of the maxi-taxi making its way down the lane.

It was actually a relatively comfortable ride although as the taxi made its way down its route it became fuller and fuller.

One of the goals at Cora was to use the bank machine to obtain some money for the girls.

First bank machine: “Out of service”
Second bank machine: “Out of service”

As their frustration grew my giddiness grew.

“Its not just me! Things don’t work for others in Romania as well!”

The third bank machine was functioning and they were both Lei-d.

Browsing and shopping were done and we were soon back on the road to Panty Lemons.

It was with absolute giddiness that I saw the maxi-taxi approach.

Small.

Very full.

These girls were going to suffer for coming to Romania and I was going to enjoy saying “I told you so” every chance I could get.

We squeezed our way on.

I hit my head.

We stood in the heat and the body odor with little to no air flow in the maxi-taxi.

The look of fear in the girls eyes was apparent although they would not admit that this ride was anything but “fine”.

Fine. Sure.

Say that now.

What will you say in a few days?

The rest of the day was spent having some type of dinner and reading and watching TV. The girls went to bed early and were rather shocked by the Pantelimon choir.

Me = Giddy!

My giddiness would only grow the next day.

The next day was the start of our touring.

We would stop being family visitors and become tourists with the arrival of this day.

Grandma and Getta joined us on our adventure.

We walked amidst the dirt and the mud and the dust and the dogs and the garbage to the far maxi-taxi stop where JDL and the Good One got a feel for the so-called patience held by Romanians.

It had been over a minute and the maxi-taxi wasn’t here yet! What to do?

How about wait longer?

So we waited and it arrived and it was full and I was giddy.

And we got on the maxi-taxi.

I hit my head.

And we stood among the heat and the body odor as we made our way to the Titan metro station.

We would be taking the metro to the People’s Palace where Grandma, Getta, JDL, the Good One, and I would see it for the first time.

It opened for tours at 10:00 am. We strolled in at 10:15 am to a small group waiting in the lobby.

We soon learned that this group wasn’t just standing around rather they were waiting to buy tickets.

The ticket seller was not yet there; however there were about 6 other workers standing around doing nothing. Apparently they have not been cross trained to do the very difficult job of selling tickets.

At 10:30 am we began to grow frustrated. It was an odd feeling for me. As my frustration grew a competing giddiness also grew. This is Romania! Swell had to go to the washroom but found out that the only washroom available was on the other side of security and one couldn’t access that side of security without a ticket and, of course, the ticket seller was not available.

10:45 am and still no ticket seller. A fellow who arranges tours for a living was beginning to grow frustrated. As he asked when the ticket seller was going to be there and was told, apparently not for the first time, in 10 – 15 minutes.

Swell about to burst and the rest of us bored decided to venture out into the world and return later. As Swell asked a worker where we could go for water and a bathroom she was told “in the park” (which was NOT true) and given a ticket to return for an English language tour at Noon.

We walked and walked and walked.

In the heat and the dust of Bucharest eventually coming across a place to buy water. (After following signs for a place that was actually closed down). Swell asked for a bathroom but was told “No bathrooms”. She begged for a bathroom indicating that we were going to buy 6 waters and a different worker relented and allowed her to use the staff bathroom.

Relieved – we headed back to the Palace.

As we entered the palace we saw the same group of people standing around as when we left.

The good news, though, was that the ticket seller was there!

Swell purchased our tickets for noon and we sat around. The career tour leader was enraged and yelling about having been there for over an hour and a half and his clients had still not gotten a tour. He was told they could go on the noon tour. He was livid and yelled and screamed his clients onto the 11:45 am tour.

I was ecstatic. About to burst when the best possible thing happened as we sat waiting for our tour time to arrive the ticket seller closed her door and left leaving all the new arrivals without a way to buy tickets.

When they asked when the could get tickets they were told 10-15 minutes.

Arguably THE most important tourist attraction in Bucharest run as if it were in Romania… I was giddy, and angry, and frustrated, and tired. But mostly giddy. These girls were already growing weary of this God-forsaken place. I could see it in their eyes, although they would only admit to this all being “fine” but something that wouldn’t happen elsewhere.

The tour was very good although our guide was very quiet.

Really neat place and we learned some stuff.

Grandma seemed angry that after the revolution the new government didn’t rush to finish the project. It was about 70% done when the revolution happened and is now only 90% done. This seemed to tick her off to no end. I believe she claimed that government wasn’t doing anything. It didn’t seem to dawn on her that it was an unnecessary expense and that if they were to finish this opulent building the money would have to come from somewhere.

After the tour it was time for lunch. Swell and I had a place in mind and walked and walked toward it. Upon arrival I was beyond giddy to realize that it was closed down for renovations.

We crossed the street saw a sign for an air conditioned restaurant and entered.

NOT air conditioned but we stayed anyway.

And the food was expensive and it was what one would expect in a Romanian restaurant.

And it was slow service and it was hot and it was just ok and I was giddy.

After lunch it was time to wander around looking for the Nut on a Stick or more commonly known as the monument for the hero’s of the revolution.

We walked and we walked and we walked and we eventually came across it and it looked like a nut on a stick.

We then walked and walked and walked and walked in the heat and the heat to the metro station and we took the metro station to the maxi-taxi stop where we had desserts and drinks and then caught the maxi-taxi.

It was small and I was giddy.

It was empty and I was disappointed.

But as it got closer and closer to Pantelimon in got more and more full eventually being beyond full and I was giddy again.

And we got to the mud and the dust and the dirt and the dogs and the stench of Pantelimon and we pushed our way off the maxi-taxi and I hit my head as I pushed by the front of the bus standers.

And we walked the km to the house and enjoyed the heat and the dust and the stench and the dogs.

And the day was over.

And the girls said the day was “Perfectly pleasant”.

But I knew.

And then the choir started and I was giddy.


******************************ADDED*************************

Title: Why isn't 2.5 hours long enough?

I forgot to mention that on the previous day we also happened across a site that Swell really wanted to see – a very famous amphitheater. It was at this amphitheater that Swell got her just deserts.

We paid our fee.

We entered a beautiful lobby area where the tour was to begin.

The tour was in Romanian. Swell was told that she should translate for the non-Romanian speakers.

The guide was a know-it-all who spoke very quickly and didn’t enunciate. Swell did a good job of translating as far as we could tell but every so often she’d give the guide a blank look simultaneously expressing huh? and say what?

This drove the guide to a bitterness reserved only for people like me.

He proclaimed that Swell, being Romanian, should know the history of this site inside and out.

Aghast Swell stated 1) I left here as a child and 2) I came here to learn the history.

He was unmoved.

I applaud her translation and her beauty. It was fun and even Grandma said she couldn’t understand the guy.

The next day, Saturday, we were left to our own devices as Grandma and Getta were worn out by the previous days events.

This was to be a museum day.

The first stop (after the dirt, the dogs, the mud, the garbage, the stench, the maxi-taxi and the metro) was the peasant museum.

JDL being, well JDL, had to rent one of those guided tour machines. So we said to her “tell us the interesting things that that doohickey tells you”. Not surprisingly, what with us being both in a peasant museum and in a peasant museum in Romania, she remained relatively silent and would later proclaim the doohickey not so great.

The peasant museum presented us with a lot of religious artifacts, costumes, daily living items, etc. It also included signs proclaiming that it mattered less what these items were intended for and what their history was and more how they reflected the religion of the peasants. The signs (and the doohickey) continued by telling us that the museum was intended to bring us into awe of how religion and God influenced the daily lives of these Romanian peasants.
I could have done with fewer icons and more history of how the peasants survived but all in all it was a fun museum.

Following those good times we tried to go to the restaurant attached to the museum. It turned out to be a bar (this is a trend that will haunt us throughout the trip) with very little food. The food that they did serve was not fit for non-Romanian consumption. I have no problem with people eating strange things but I prefer not to eat them myself.

They served mostly cold cuts (of which brain is a component of some). We didn’t feel that this would be an appropriate lunch so we decided to catch a cab to our next destination and get something to eat around there.

After a lengthy walk we caught a taxi whose driver said they knew of a good restaurant in the very large park that housed our next museum (a peasant village museum).

He drove us to a restaurant that as we drove by I thought looked quite deserted.

As the taxi drove off we realized that the reason I thought the restaurant looked deserted was because it was.

It was closed for a private function.

We were stuck in a park with no roads and no idea where the museum was.

Swell took off and tried to catch up to the cab that just dropped us off.

Luckily he had parked just outside the park entrance and we were able to have him drive us closer to the museum.

We found a place to eat and were promptly disappointed with the very expensive food.

C’est la vie? Non?

At the entrance to the museum JDL was saddened, and the rest of us relieved, to find out that although they have doohickey guides there were none available at that time/location.

The museum itself was quite interesting, although it was a scorcher of a day.

It was a large museum of churches and homes from various regions of Romania and various centuries.

We found it interesting that the outsides of the homes were very different from each other but the inside layout of each home was basically the same. And is still the same in rural Romania to this day.

A couple of living/sleeping areas, a central area and a kitchen outside of the house.

We have plenty of pictures and will post them later (we have a poor internet connection and it would not be prudent to upload pictures). One of my favourite pictures is JDL standing in front of a house made specifically for her. It looks very much like a hobbit house and if you know JDL you know she is very hobbit like.

I could see that The Good One was starting to fade fast toward the later part of the day as it was, as I said, a scorcher. She doesn’t handle the heat real well but being the trooper she is she hung in there.

Following our few hours at the museum we were going to pop into the Hard Rock Café right next door to the museum for dessert and water.

It was, of course, closed for a private event so we headed elsewhere.

It was a long and tiring day but we were able to do some things that Swell has wanted to do for some time without being able to.

We joked that the peasant journey would continue the next day as we were heading to La Tara (the country) to visit with Grandpa and expose the girls to life in Rural Romania.

Before heading to Pantelimon we stopped in on Grandpa and his Lady in downtown Bucharest. I ran up the 10 flights of stairs because the elevators are not built for more than three people. Grandpa and his lady were happy to see us and Swell was happy to visit them one more time.

The difficulty with going to the country is transportation.

Being young and slightly insane people we had no qualms with taking the bus. Grandma wanted us to get up super early and take a maxi-taxi to the first stop on the bus route to ensure we got a seat.

We declined and said we’d take our chances at the stop closest to the house.

We walked (of course through the dust and the dirt and the mud and the dogs and the stench) a few kilometers to the main road where the bus would show up. We carried our food and our clothes for a one night stay. It was stay one night or stay a couple of hours as the bus only comes through twice a day (5 am and 2:30 pm).

On the way to the bus stop we stopped at the local convenience store for an on the road snack. This on the road snack would also be lunch.

Being North Americans we chose chips and pop.

One of the very nice Pantelimon woman decided that it was her place to mention that we shouldn’t be buying chips as they are “bad for us” and we aren’t the thinnest people in the world.

Swell responded that this was a snack for the bus and travels well, besides we didn’t really love Romanian food that much.

The store worker (owner?) chimed in with “Don’t like Romanian food? Why it’s the best food in the world!”

Now I’m not the brightest nail in the tool shed but this whole exchange raises various questions.

1) Should one who is most likely at the store purchasing beer and cigarettes be allowed to chide people for “unhealthy” snacks?
2) Romanian food is the best food in the world? Says who? I have never seen a Romanian restaurant outside of Romania. Some Romanian food is very good but as a whole it is rather simple fare.
3) Do Romanians have a filter between their brain and their mouths? If not why not? Is it due to communism or does it go back further than that?
4) Why do I keep hearing commercials on TV and the radio encouraging people to eat less sugar, fat and salt but not telling them to stop smoking and drinking?

We arrived at the bus stop quite early as Grandma walks fast and always wants to be at the stop early.

We were surprised to learn that the bus did not, in fact, stop at the bus shelter with the benches and the shade and the sickly looking dogs. Rather it stopped further up the road where there was completely no indication that a bus would stop there.

Makes perfect sense to me.

Getta could barely contain herself as she was excited to see her cats and she loves the country.

So after waiting 45 minutes or so the bus arrives mostly empty. Yippee! Seats for all.

In fact we had seats to spare. So our luggage had seats as well.

We arrived in the country said Hi to Grandpa and looked around the area. I soon heard JDL muttering “and 2.5 hours here isn’t long enough because?”

And I laughed and thought “wait to you have to go to sleep with the flies”.

We hung out, we took pictures, we walked around, we ate, we read, we survived. Swell visited.

Bed time.

Three beds needed for the visitors. Three beds available.

Two in one room. One in another.

Makes most sense to put the girls in the room with two beds.

Bed 1 – The Good one. This is the bed that Swell and I usually sleep in. Pretty comfortable. Not too bad although this is the bed that through my back out earlier in this trip. She slept well. Except for being scared half to death by a cat jumping at the window but that’s her story.

Bed 2 – JDL. I took a tonne of stuff sent from America off of this bed to prepare it for her. I wiped the dirt off of it. I was even kind enough to take the bag of Raid (moth balls?) off of it for her. Do I get any thanks? No. Instead she claims she couldn’t sleep because the mattress has a soft spot in it where her butt was. She claims that the bed stunk and that her butt was touching the wooden slats because of the soft spot. She, as already stated, slept poorly.

Bed 3 – Swell and me. Well. Ummmm. Bed 3 is made out of hay. I “slept” in a hay bed. Hay. Bed. What is it 1837? Hay. Covered with something to make a mattress. HAY!

The night ended. Time passed. We said goodbye to Getta and Grandpa and caught the bus home.

It was a small bus. We had seats. Others? Stood for two hours until Bucharest. There was sweat. Body odor. Alcohol smells. Yelling. Speeding. Bumps. Discussion of curent (which will kill you). Swell was sucked into a never ending conversation with two people STANDING next to her for over an hour. It was miserable. We will never speak of it again.

But we were back in Pantelimon!

With the dogs and the dirt and the mud and the stench.

But sadness came too as Swell was leaving her family the next day.

The next day we called a taxi and he took us to the train station. Grandma cried. Swell cried. We were happy to be leaving but sad that we had to leave people behind.

I think JDL and the Good One were happy to be leaving Bucharest/Pantelimon behind.

I’ve since heard the rumblings of “miserable” replacing “perfectly pleasant”.

It’s sad that Romania (or is it just Bucharest?) evokes such distaste in those who visit. I truly hope that as the era of communism is left further and further behind that things change. That the people change. That Bucharest becomes what it once was.

Here’s hoping.

Flashback - Break for Doldrums of Romania

In speaking with JDL and The Good One it became apparent that I forgot to post something here many, many moons ago. I wrote this for a message board and it soon got shot all to hell because some people take vacation reports far too seriously so I'm not going to include a link, rather I'll copy verbatim what I wrote there.

WARNING: THIS IS LONG. DON'T READ IT!!!

This is a trip report.

A trip to Universal studios.

A trip that was to be one thing but soon spiraled into something completely different.

“The Cast” (as they say):

Swell and Sheepie live in Atlanta, GA but are desperate to leave (wanna buy a nice condo in downtown Decatur?). To that end they spent three weeks in late February and early March working in Nome, Alaska and surrounding villages.

It was cold. Although not as cold as Swell feared. Sheepie is Canadian. The cold in Nome, Alaska is no worse than the cold in Edmonton, Alberta. The cold in Wales, Alaska on the other hand…



Their job in Nome was a temporary job. They were there three weeks and then anticipated having six weeks off followed by another few weeks of work.

What should they do with six weeks off?

No really, I’m asking. What should they do with six weeks off?

Because they are irresponsible adult-children they decided to go and visit some good friends in…

…Maui.

You thought they should go to Universal Studios didn’t you? It’s ok, they will. This is just the long version of the story. If you want the short version you’re plum plumb simply out of luck.

Maui was fun. They had a cheap place to stay. (A friend was between roommates so they just took over the second bedroom). Sadness was found in Maui. A very dear friend’s father, K, –who had also become close to Swell when she lived with the family for a summer a number of years ago – was feeling ill when Swell and Sheepie met with the family for dinner. Jokes were made about not being long for the world. Two days later he was diagnosed with leukemia and is currently bravely battling for his life in Honolulu.

K is a pastor of a church in Maui. His last sermon before leaving for treatment was on Good Friday. It was moving and many tears were shed.

Swell and Sheepie’s pleasant, restful vacation became emotionally and spiritually draining.

What should they do with their last four weeks of their break from Nome?

Don’t answer. This isn’t a choose your own adventure “novel”. What’s done is done. They went home.

To Atlanta *blech*.

To find more temporary work (they aren’t getting paid to sit around you know) and have their nephew visit from Edmonton.

And to clean their condo up (i.e. put junk in storage) so that it would look more purdy when the real estate agent starts showing it.

They were going to list their condo for sale… but that has become another problem that would be better told on a you-think-our-place-is-worth-what?-then-why-is-the-identical-floor-plan-listed-at-nearly-thirty percent-more?-the-building-is-over-priced?-are-you-delusional?-you-call-those-comps?
-they’re-not-even-in-the-same-city-now-we’re-out-of-state-and-have-to-find-a-new-realtor-on-the-internet? board.
Or a sub-forum on a board that just barely tolerates the topic.

Why, dear God, is this so long you may ask?

Well the author is literally stuck in the middle of nowhere and has run out of DVDs.

And is bored.

So bored.

Curse you Little Diomede, Alaska and your prevailing Northern winds! Let me go Nome!

Anyway to move along and get to the point/the gist/the climax/the food/the glorious food if the six weeks off turned to eight (a long story that need not ever be told) and an advertised three weeks of local work for Sheepie turned out to really be four days over three weeks what should they do?

Swell: “Thank you Sheepie for getting me those passes for Universal Studios for my Birthday so many months ago.”
Sheepie: “You’re very welcome. That’s just the kind of guy I am. I got you something that was really for me and gave it to you along with those other gifts – how is that broom working by the way?”
Swell: “We should use them before we move and to add to our emotionally and spiritually draining Maui vacation. Do you think we can go this week?”
Sheepie: “Well that is a very good idea. I think we should go soon. It turns out that I don’t work at all next week. Lets go and call it our Anniversary trip as we’ll be in Nome for our Anniversary and Nome is kinda boring.”

The preceding conversation took place on a Friday.

Swell and Sheepie hopped in their car on the next Tuesday with a two night reservation at the RPR and a four night reservation at the PBH (a split stay was required due to a combination of rates and availability).

Happiness was in the air.

Oh! Wait. This is still the “the cast” part of the story.

There is still one person you haven’t met.

Sheepie’s Mother-in-Law.

Saturday

Swell: “I told my Mum that she could come and visit me in Atlanta before we went back to Nome. She has five days off next week so she said she wants to come then.”
Sheepie: “But our trip.”
Swell: “Oh. Ummm…I’ll ask if she wants to go to Orlando with us instead.”
Sheepie to self: “But our trip…”
Swell: “Yep. My dad can get her a positive space ticket so she’ll be coming on Thursday and staying until Monday.”

So Mother-in-Law was on board. She lives in Washougal, Washington. She is a Romanian immigrant having fled communism over twenty years ago. Has never been to a theme park. Struggles that her only child didn’t move back home after 7 years of college. Struggles that her only child moved across the country and doesn’t write, call, or visit enough. Doesn’t listen to child when said child does write, call, or visit. Master at (un?)intentionally making child feel guilty.

The Trip

Swell and Sheepie woke up at 5:30 on Tuesday morning hoping to beat the Atlanta traffic. The car was gassed up and they were well on their way by 6:30. Pam-Pam (their trustworthy albeit temperamental GPS) was zeroed in on City Walk (the only Universal Orlando destination contained within Pam-Pam’s undersized database).

When they arrived at the RPR by 2 pm they were confused. They were also confused as to why Pam-Pam had told them to drive down a toll road this year. Last year she had done no such thing and the trip took an eternity.

They parked the car and entered the luscious and surprisingly un-busy lobby of the RPR. With Loews Gold Card in hand they approached the desk. As a heartfelt Aloha greeted them they realized that their vacation had started.

Check-in went very smoothly although their room was not yet ready.

That was fine. It was lunch time.

A short walk to city walk led them to Bubba Gumps. They had just eaten at the Maui Bubba Gumps and wanted to do a scientific comparison of the two.

Nah. They just really like Bubba Gumps.

Lunch was Fish and Chips for Sheepie and a Fish Sandwich and a Lotsa Lava for Swell (Sorry no pictures from today – camera was left in our luggage).

Lunch was, of course, great despite being seated at a dirty table. (When the waitress came and asked what we wanted to start with I simply said a clean table.)

After lunch we walked over to IOA to change our Costco tickets into real tickets. No problems with that so we decide to enter IOA. We made a beeline for Spiderman walking right on without having to break stride despite a 40 minute standby line.

After a very enjoyable ride we left.

That’s right we left.

One ride. And gone.

We were on vacation and were just going where the winds led us and at this time the winds led us to Publix to buy some water and fruit. While at Publix we received word that our room was ready.

We walked into our basic room and were surprised that our welcome gift of milk and cookies (remember we’re adult children) waiting for us. Delicious, delicious cookies.



We looked around the hotel after checking out our room as we had never been to the RPR. We were duly impressed.





Our plan was to head back to City Walk to have dinner but it was freezing out so we just headed back to the room. I don’t remember what we ate for dinner so it must not be important.

That was the end of day one. Day two would be our last day without MIL and was spent at US. I’ll write about it soon.

DAY 2

If this tale were a tale of fibs I would write “On the second day of their vacation Swell and Sheepie woke up at the crack of dawn to a beautiful sunrise. It was evident that today would be a beautiful warm Orlando day.”

Because this tale is not a tale of fibs I’ll have to write “On the second day of their vacation Swell and Sheepie woke up at the crack of 9 am to a cool blustery day. It was evident that today would be a not so beautiful Orlando day.”

Disappointment was evident in both Swell and Sheepie because of the cool weather but they would not be disheartened. They grabbed an apple and a bottle of water each and began their walk to US.

They choose to walk to the parks or City Walk more often than take the water taxi because:
1) It is usually faster than waiting for the water taxi
B) Sheepie is fat and needs the exercise
iii) It is a very pleasant walk

So they walked bundled up in sweatshirts eating their apples and drinking their water. It was a cold day.

So it was a Universal Studios day. No water rides. No windy outdoor roller coasters. Just a lot of fun indoor type things.

Being adult-children the first ride they wanted to ride was ET.

They arrived at the gates around 10:00 am for the first of many problems with entering the parks. You see Swell’s finger scan thingy never, ever works. One gate attendant hypothesized that her fingers were too narrow and light was escaping on the sides rendering the scan non-functional.

Whatever the cause may be it sure was annoying. On top of that the gate attendants would later in the week inform Swell and Sheepie that their Costco tickets were locking down the scanners.

Oops. Sorry for anyone that was behind them.

If you know anything about Universal Studios you’ve already figured out the flaw in their plan.

ET doesn’t open until 11 am.

They thought that they were being oh so bright in taking shortcuts to get to ET lickety split.

They got there quick as bunnies only to find the area roped off. Bummer.
What to do?

Well why not MIB?



Jack Nicholson is apparently a ride attendant on MIB now. Times must be tough for him. Or he just likes helping tourists out.

Watch for him when you ride MIB. He doesn’t talk much but he’s there.

In the flesh.

We won’t talk about Swell or Sheepie’s score on this, their first ride of the trip. We will say that the lines were short, the ride was fun and that tourists are stupid. How many times must they be told to put their things in the lockers and to use only one of the three lines available? Sheesh.

In order to get to MIB from ET Swell and Sheepie walked by the Simpsons ride. They were sad that it was yet to open but took some pictures to tide them over until they get to ride it some other time.





After MIB (they only did it once this time around as they wanted to keep moving. Did I mention it was cold? So cold.) they headed over to a new treat for them. Disaster.

Without giving it away it away they thought it was a hoot. A lot of fun. The second part of the pre-show (after they pick volunteers) was quite amazing. Very well done.

The wait for Disaster wasn’t too long either. It was still early and they were using their Manna from Heaven (FOTL passes).

After Disaster it was still too early for ET (you can get a lot done with FOTL in a short time) so they went onward to Mummy.

Now Swell does enjoy this ride but it takes her a little while to gather her courage. This is the unfortunate part of FOTL. She has no time in line to gather her courage. For others this is the good part of FOTL they don’t have time to lose their courage.

Well they walked all the way down the FOTL line up the stairs and with barely a pause were told to sit in Row 1.

Swell froze. And an almost primitive sound came from her lips. It sounded like a wounded animal gasping its last breath.

“Nooo…ugh..ooo”

Translation – “under no circumstance am I going to sit in the front row on this, my first ride of the trip.”
So they were ushered to Row 2. (Like that 2 feet really makes a difference).

Last year they had been disappointed in the Mummy as they had remembered it being a darker ride. This year? No disappointments. It seems that they turned out the lights once again.

Fantastic ride and the only thing that kept them from riding it again were:
1) Swell’s knocking knees and
2) The fact that it was 11:00 o’clock!

Time for ET!

They skipped hand in hand down to the wonderful area of Universal Studios that holds that fantastic treat of a ride known as ET.

They were among the first to ride that day. Sheepie was first in line to give his name and said “Hi my name is Ronald.”
Swell then gave her name “Hi my name is Reagan.”

Truth be told it took them hours to come up with such a stupid plan.

In the queue it was beautiful. The trees were still there. The spacemen were still there. Everything was as grand as they remembered.

They gave the worker their interplanetary passports (interesting note the family in front of them were disappointed that they didn’t get to keep them – the ride attendant ended up scanning them and handing them back. So if you want yours just ask.) and were soon on their bicycles.

Front row with a prime view of ET.

What a cute little guy they thought.

When they were finished saving the green planet (you’re welcome) they listened intently for their names… Reagan, Ronald…

Dagnabit they scanned the passports in reverse order.

Oh well. They still had fun.

After ET?

LUNCH TIME!!!

They love them some lunch.

Where to go when in US? Well Finnegans of course.

It’s a tradition.

They were among the only ones in the restaurant as it was an early lunch (around 11:30 am) but were still given a kinda crappy table. Oh well. The food was bound to make up for the non-prime seating.

And it did.

Remember that Swell is Romanian. She lived there until she was almost 10. When growing up in a Romanian family bread becomes an important staple of any meal.


If a Romanian is eating anywhere near you, you better hope that there is bread around. Or watch out.

Going out to restaurants is often a hoot with Swell and her parents. No matter what type of food is being served the cry of “Where’s the bread will be heard?”.

Asian? Where’s the bread?
Italian? Where’s the bread?
Middle Eastern? Yippee they eat a lot of bread here!
Mexican? This isn’t bread.

And so on.

And so forth.

Finnegans serves bread. Really very good warm bread with apple butter. A meal in itself. Yummy.

Swell had Homemade Misty Isle Potato and Leek Soup which she loved. Sheepie devoured the delicious New Castle Chicken (described on the menu as Grilled chicken breast topped with our homemade garlic mashed potatoes, root cellar vegetables and topped with peppercorn butter).





No desert. Remember Sheepie is fat. He’s not allowed desert.

After lunch both Swell and Sheepie were feeling on the full side.

ALL SHE HAD WAS SOUP AND BREAD HOW CAN THAT BE FILLING?

I really have no idea.

But feeling full they were so it was off to T2 for a post meal rest. Sheepie likes T2. Swell thinks it’s too loud.

Sheepie likes it because he can actually see the 3D part of the show. Due to some minor eye issues (Convergence excess for those that care) he can’t fuse fast moving 3D movies. His eyes just don’t relax quickly enough so he gets a nice little headache and two movies for the price of one (i.e. double vision).

T2’s 3D parts are not all that rapid moving and Sheepie is able to appreciate the full effect.

And for that he is happy.

They just missed a seating and were forced to stand in the waiting area for some time. Wait they did as they didn’t really want to be anywhere else.

They were excited to see their favourite PR/media control woman as the host.

Not being facetious. They really like this one in particular (the actress if you want to be crude).

The show was enjoyable as usual and upon exiting the theater it was still super cold outside.

And overcast.

And blah.

After T2 it was back to MIB.



Scores improved but were still pretty bad compared to many. It was after this ride that they started to question how they could do better. The answer to that question would be hotly debated for the rest of the week.

After MIB it was back to the Mummy and the back row. It was at about this time that they started to notice that the express lines were a tad longer than they’d ever seen them before. This would be a trend that would be hotly debated for the rest of the week as well.

They love the Mummy especially in the back row. The best row on the ride if truth be told. Funny faces were made at the camera. Sheepie on purpose. Swell because she was still a touch scared.

A big baby she is.

At this time Swell breaks the news: “All I had for lunch was a bowl of soup and some bread. I’m still hungry.”

So they got her a stale Churro (disappointing and expensive a great combination!) and a Starbucks.

Sheepie doesn’t do coffee as it is the most disgusting beverage known to man. If you want to drink garbage water go ahead but don’t expect him to join you. For that matter don’t expect him to drink any warm beverage with you. Yuckity yuck!

After spending a good long time with the stale Churro and the coffee and the people watching they returned to MIB. Scores still improving. By this time Sheepie was getting in the low 300 thousands and Swell was getting in the high 100s low 200s. This was better than anyone else in their car but not up to their high standards. They would keep practicing.

The lines were longer than they wanted to deal with – even in express – so they left the park after running into these two.



And wandered and looked in stores and shopped without spending money and looked at what movies were playing at the theater. And took pictures.





They eventually ended up at Margaritaville and shared the largest plate of Nachos either of them had ever seen.



And had some drinks.



But not those kind of drinks.

They don’t drink those kind of drinks.

Why not?

They just don’t.

Well Sheepie doesn’t. Swell does on very limited occasion. Like after hearing a sad sermon on Good Friday.

That’s right she went to the store bought a tiny little alcohol after church ON GOOD FRIDAY to drown her sorrows (well really it was for her ice cream but still!?).

Heathen

Day 3 soon.


DAY 3

If Swell and Sheepie were to label the days of their vacation today would be simply “Thursday”.

Not a day that turned into anything special although there was hope at the beginning of the day that it would be special.

Today was the day that Swell’s Ma was arriving.

So the day started early. Ma was arriving at 6:45 am and Swell and Sheepie were to pick her up from the airport and take her to RPR for a short rest before checkout time came around. Then they would transfer all there stuff to the PBH for the rest of the vacation.

Sheepie entered Airport as the destination into Pam-Pam and they were on their way.

Sheepie: “I think we’re on a toll road. Do you have any money?”
Swell: “Yep”

Toll was paid.

Sheepie: “What the heck? Another toll! Do you still have money?”
Swell: “Yep”

Toll was sadly paid.

Sheepie: “For goodness sakes. Did you see that sign?”
Swell: “What sign?”
Sheepie: “The one that said Airport ¾ of a mile and Toll plaza ½ a mile.”

Toll was very grudgingly paid.

A toll ¼ of a mile from what is seemingly an important and oft sought exit further cemented the idea that some people have no souls in the minds of Swell and Sheepie.

But despite paying the requisite tolls they were happy to be at the airport. It’s always fun to introduce someone to the wonderful world of Universal Studios. While it’s fun to re-experience Universal Studios it is a different kind of fun to see someone experience it for the first time.

Ma’s flight was on time and despite her across country red-eye flight she was rather chipper.

She was, after all, in the same city as her daughter.

The drive back to the RPR was uneventful.

Traffic was light and the sun was shining – but the wind was blowing. Another disappointingly chilly Orlando day.

Ma was fascinated by the RPR. She loves Hawaii and spent a number of weeks in Maui when Swell was doing an internship there many moons ago. Ma felt that the RPR was able to capture the feeling of the Pacific Islands. She was particularly fascinated with the frog sculptures along the walkway to the lobby. It took many, many minutes to walk those few feet.

Ma insisted – foolishly – that she was not tired and did not, in fact, need the last couple of hours before checkout to sleep/rest.

So they checked out.

Sheepie is fascinated by TV check out. But has never, ever been able to get it to work right. He’ll go through the entire process and then the TV will say something about processing the checkout.

It will process.

And process.

And then process some more.

Just when he think that a TV couldn’t process anymore than this TV is processing it comes up with the wonderful message that the checkout could not be processed and they should report to the front desk.

As if.

He’ll never report to the front desk.

They’ll ask if he had a car.

Then he’d have to pay for parking.

He’ll never pay for parking.

Ever.

So he did the “quick” checkout of dropping the little piece of paper in the bin in the lobby.

He thinks the checkout bin is simply a pretty garbage can.

They were checked out and on their way.

Parking was not paid for then nor was it put on their credit card bill.

Score.

The car was loaded up with their suitcases and they made the long drive to the PBH.

Not surprisingly their room was not yet ready. An upgrade was requested. They are after all GOLD Loew’s members. The front desk person smirked a little as they said they would try.

You see there was a European McDonald’s restaurants convention somewhere in Orlando and the hotels were packed to the rafters with seemingly wealthy McDonald’s franchise holders.

Have you ever eaten at a McDonald’s overseas? Its like heaven. Swell and Sheepie NEVER eat at McDonald’s in the US but overseas? Sometimes you just get tired of eating what the locals eat.

They walked for miles looking for a McDonald’s in Cairo. They found one and it was good. For goodness sake they had a Chicken Big Mac there. No word of a lie Sheepie ate a Big Mac made with Chicken instead of beef.

They made the silly mistake of asking for a cheeseburger at the airport in Jerusalem. Apparently Cheeseburgers aren’t kosher. Who knew?

Any way the folks who sell these treats in European McDonalds’ were at the PBH in full force.

After receiving their Manna from Heaven (FOTL passes) it was brunch time and Swell was hungry. And only Swell was hungry.

First stop before brunch was




Swell wanted to treat her Ma to a Mani/Pedi. Sheepie was invited to join them but refused because he knew if anyone in his family found out he would be ridiculed for decades. That and he hadn’t painted his nails in years…


An appointment was made for both Ma and Swell for a few hours later. Now setting up this appointment was not all that easy. It took FOREVER. Sheepie found the staff to be lacking. The services offered at this spa are rather expensive and one would assume that the staff would act accordingly. They didn’t. Very aloof. Didn’t look at you when they spoke to you. It was like being in Atlanta. Not a great first impression.

The staff told Ma and Swell that they should arrive 30 minutes before their noon appointment.

So the trio hopped on the water taxi. They took the water taxi only because it was there. Calling to them as they walked past the dock.




Ma’s park ticket had been purchased online with the Pick up at the park option. So they went to get her ticket. They had the confirmation number available.

And it was long.

So long.

My goodness that was the longest confirmation number ever.

They had time to kill before the mani/pedi appointment and no one was hungry (but Swell and who really cares if she’s hungry?) so they entered US.

AGAIN!!! you might shout.

Again they would answer.

It was cold out and they were only going to do one thing.

Shrek.

They took out their key cards. Entered the Express line excited to show Ma how they rolled.

Front of the Line.

Royalty among peasants.

After standing at the merge point of the lines for a bit the line attendant kindly re-routed the line as it was getting too long.

This wonderful re-routing started by telling Swell, Sheepie and Ma to turn and walk down this way and that way. It soon dawned on them.

They were being re-routed to the back of the stand by line AFTER group after group had entered the stand by line.

They would have been further ahead in the line had they entered the standby line rather than the express line.

Irritating.

Because they are above standing in such long lines.

But it was Shrek and half of the city of Orlando can be seated in that theater.

So they Shreked. And Ma screamed and dug her undone nails into Swell’s arm throughout the show.

And her introduction to fun began.

Swell’s parents don’t do fun.

They do work and they do home and they do travel to Bucharest, Romania but they don't do fun.

As everyone knows Bucharest is the armpit of Romania and worse than that is Pantelimon which is a small community located on the outskirts of Bucharest.

If Bucharest is the armpit of Romania, Pantelimon (where Ma’s family lives) is the infected sweat gland of the armpit of Romania.

Yuck and blech. Bucharest/Pantelimon is as far from fun as one can get.

Dang communists took away all the fun and it has yet to return.

But Shrek was fun and Swell was hungry.

And they had to leave fun for pampering.

And that would be fun.

And Swell was hungry. And a hungry Swell is not fun.

It was too early for a big meal so they walked back to the PBH enjoying the wildlife along the way.





Now the PBH is a great hotel. Great to look at.



Nice rooms. But they do lack affordable food. So Swell got a very, very expensive bagel (Point of information – if you are staying at PBH BYOB (bring your own bagels)) and ate it.

And liked it.

But hated that it was so expensive.

But it solved the hunger problem.

They sat and watched the sights. The rich McDonald’s kids throwing balls around.

The rich McDonald’s kids chasing birds.

The rich McDonald’s Dad ensuring that all those around him knew that he was on the phone with someone and they were going to do a multi-million dollar McDonald’s deal.

You go European McDonald’s dude. You go.

Well it was nearly 11:30 and as luck would have it Sheepie was getting hungry.

Well let’s not lie. He was always hungry. He just wasn’t saying anything because he had a plan.

His plan was to gorge himself on bad food while the women were being more beautified.

So they headed over to the Spa and while the women were checking in for their appointment Sheepie was ordering food from that place by the pool.

Hamburger please.

Of course I’ll take fries with that.

Oh and a coke thank you very much.

His sneakiness didn’t work though.

Because just as he ordered his food and picked up his coke Swell and Ma appeared.

Swell: “Well we went in to check in for our appointment and they said ‘Well you’re early so you’ll just have to sit and wait.’”
Sheepie: “But they told you to come early.”
Swell: “I know. You know. Apparently they forgot.”

So they sat some more. Sheepie hoping they were gone before his food arrived.

They weren’t.

Ma and Swell didn’t say anything.

But they were thinking it.

Noon rolled around.

Ma and Swell went to the Spa. Sheepie went to the poolside and found a nice lounge chair under an umbrella.



Very important that someone with Sheepie’s pigmentation (read lack thereof) get an umbrealla.

And he sat.

And sat.

And sat some more.

While he sat he waited.

And waited.

And waited.

He heard a pool staff member get yelled at for being late to work the previous day. (Ummm… recommendation. Manager of the pool people go to the office to ream your staff out. Vacationers don’t want to hear your staffing issues.)

He also saw a young girl of 7 or 8 who he is sure was a McDonald’s daughter running around topless.

He was pleasantly surprised that the pool staff tracked the parents down and told them she needed to put a top on.

Well they didn’t tell them. They pantomimed it as it seems that the family did not speak English.

The five minutes of pantomiming was quite entertaining as Sheepie waited. And waited.

How long can a mani/pedi take?

Apparently two hours.

And the women weren’t even that impressed.

True they had fun but hey found the service to still be lacking.





And Swell got poked with some instrument of torture. A little blood was drawn but luckily an infection never followed. They weren’t offered more than flavored water to drink. Basically it wasn’t worth the money. Swell thought her Pedicure in Maui was far superior even though it was done in a strip mall for ¼ of the price.

So if you’re going to Universal Studios don’t feel bad about skipping the spa for more time eating and playing.

Coming up: Back to US. Again? Again. And the now infamous PBH room debacle.

The pampering being finished and the room not being finished the trio head back toward the parks.

It was still a chilly day in Orlando and Ma was quickly tiring out having just traveled the red-eye across the country. It was decided that they rest of the day (or at least until the room was ready) would be spent at Universal Studios.

First stop after finally getting through the finger print/card scanning nightmare – eventually they were let though sans fingerprinting as the machines just would not register both ticket and fingerprint – was of course ET.

As Steven Spielberg and ET gave us the intrepid trio their instructions they were further treated to a different kind of pre show. A very young teenage couple found the ET line to be the ideal place to perfect their make out skills.

It was an intense display.

And nothing more should ever be said about it.

Ma yelped a yelp of glee when the bike she was riding was lifted off the ground by ET and she flew over the city.

After ET it was time for MIB. Swell and Sheepie did much better while Ma, this being her first time on MIB, just closed her eyes.

They also visited the Horror Make Up show which was great as usual. Swell and Sheepie had never seen an English speaking volunteer before this visit and found it interesting to be able to understand the volunteers objections and exclamations. Always a great show. Ma even liked it and humour is sometimes lost on her (probably due to language issues).

Jaws was, of course a hit, although Sheepie found it awkward sitting in the middle of the front row with a female boat captain.

“Don’t look straight ahead was his refrain”.

So he didn’t.

And she did a good job.

Many of the boat captains are very good at what they do. They should be applauded more than they are. They can make or break this ride. On this occasion she did a very good job and the ride was enjoyed by all. Ma was, admittedly a little frightened, but was excited to experience such a thing.

Then came The Mummy.

Now Swell said over and over to her Ma that this was a fast ride. Very fast. Dark too. Are you sure you want to try this? Ma insisted that she would and that it would be fine.

Throughout the ride all the car they were in could hear was Ma screaming.

After the ride Sheepie heard a gentle whimpering coming from Ma who was two seats over.

With the whimpering came tears.

With the tears came the phrase “You’re so stupid” over and over.

And over.

Ma wasn’t a fan of the ride.

Or at this point of Swell.

Swell reminder her that she warned her. Many times.

Many, many times.

But if you recall Ma sometimes has a listening problem.

And because of this listening problem she rode the Mummy.

And cried.

Ma soon regained her compsure but will be scarred for life.

The Mummy ended their time at Universal Studios – what with a life scarring and all.

The women wanted to get back to the hotel as with any Spa service you have access to the whirlpool for the day you had your spa services done.

While on the way out of the park the trio, finally, received word that the room was ready.

No, there was no upgrade available but the booked deluxe room was ready.

The walk back to the hotel was pleasant and the trio recounted their day of fun. And Swell and Sheepie laughed at Ma.

Not a mean laugh.

You know that teasing laugh you give a family member when they deserve it.

Upon arrival at the front desk they turned in their current key cards and received new ones for their deluxe room in the West Wing.

They ran down to the car and grabbed their luggage and then headed over to the room.

Immediately upon opening the door Sheepie knew that they would not be staying in this room.

Swell is very particular about hotel rooms.

If there is the faintest smell of smoke in the room they would not be staying in the room. If no other room is available in the hotel they would have to find a new hotel. No matter the time or the place.

Now this room didn’t have the faintest smell of smoke.

It had the overwhelming stench of smoke.

So they called the front desk.

Another room was located.

Sheepie left Ma and Swell in the hallway and made the very, very long walk back to the front desk where he was given another set of keys.

The front desk people were very kind.

And apologetic.

The keys gathered it was off to the new room.

Which turned out to be two doors down from the first.

And smelled worse.

So they called the front desk.

Another room was located.

Sheepie left Ma and Swell in the hallway and made the very, very long walk back to the front desk where he was given another set of keys.

The front desk people were very kind.

And apologetic.

The keys gathered it was off to the new room.

The new room was on a different floor but was also in the West Wing.

The first two rooms were on the ground floor and it was hypothesized that smokers had left the patio doors open while smoking on the patio.

Nice rooms but just not appropriate for Swell and Sheepie.

The third room smelled great. Sheepie = happy.

Swell not so much.

She was the one who had booked the rooms. She is very particular when booking hotels or booking flights. She will compare prices for days on end finding the best deal and the best room/flight available.

For this trip the best room available with an acceptable/good price was a deluxe room.

She insisted that this third room was not a deluxe room.

So back they headed back to the front desk.

The front desk people were very kind.

The young man at the front desk insisted that this was in fact a deluxe room. Sheepie said “see Swell you’re confused.”

And then he got that look.

THE look.

And he shuddered.

And he decided he shouldn’t have anymore to do with this discussion.

The Front Desk Man said that all rooms on this floor were deluxe.

Swell said but our room doesn’t have a sitting area or a separate shower, or a window cut out.

The Front Desk Man, who was very kind and considerate, replied “Yes all deluxe rooms have sitting areas, separate showers and window cut outs”.

Swell said but ours doesn’t.

The Front Desk Man said but you’re in a deluxe room.

And Swell said, “Well we’re supposed to be.”

Sheepie just stood there with a headache because he had no idea what a deluxe room was nor couldn’t follow the conversation if his life depended on it.

The gist of the conversation seemed to be that the Front Desk Man insisted that the room given to the trio was a deluxe because it was in a “deluxe area” of the hotel and Swell insisted that it wasn’t because it didn’t look like it was describe to her when she made the reservations.

Eventually the very kind and considerate Front Desk Man went back to talk to the manager.

He came back.

Still kind.

Still considerate.

And said “You’re not in a deluxe room. You’re in a handicap accessible room. I didn’t know that these rooms were different. We’ll get you a different room that I’ll walk you to in order to ensure that it is acceptable.”

So he walked them to the new room. Which was a long walk from the front desk. A very long walk.

He was apologetic as it was now two hours from when the first keys were handed to the trio and they had yet to get their room.

As they walked they talked about the hotel and the area. The young man telling them all that their keys were good for, FOTL, priority restaurant seating, getting into their room, etc.

He offered them a bottle of wine for their troubles.

“Thank you but we don’t drink wine” was the response.

“How about some Tuxedo strawberries then?”

“Sure, thanks. What about our welcome gift?”

“I’ll make sure it is sent to your room immediately.”

The room was great.

Apparently deluxe and smoke free.

As they were preparing to go to the spa to use the whirlpool a knock on the door revealed a hotel employee with their milk and cookies on top of the cookies were three halve strawberries.

Was this to be their “make up gift” a few small strawberries on top of their cookies? As the employee put the cookies on the counter they internally pondered this question and then heard another knock on the door.

It was another hotel employee, from the way he was dressed he was seemingly a management type, carrying another plate of cookies and more milk.

Apparently the first employee had transferred the welcome gift from the first room the trio was given and the second was bringing the recently requested cookies.

It is important to note that the strawberries were on the first plate of cookies.

The trio did not note this at the time of the cookie delivery.

Two sets of cookies!

Two sets of milk.

Heavenly.

Although to be honest Swell and Sheepie though that the cookies and milk were better at the RPR. There the milk was in a carafe and at the PBH it was two little containers of milk.

But a cookie is a cookies and all cookies are good.

Eventually the trio left and went to the Spa’s whirlpool.

Sheepie left before the other two as they were going to try out the Sauna. Eventually the all met back in the room before heading out to get dinner.

Dinner was simply a pizza in the Piazza.

It had turned into a pleasant evening and they enjoyed eating outside under the twinkling stars.

Ma was exhausted so the night finished with some TV in the room and an early lights out.

Next: IOA (finally) and some Mythos first timers.

DAY 4

Day 4, also known as Friday, started the same way the previous three days started – sleeping until whenever.

Breakfast was skipped with an early lunch in mind.

The trio arrived well rested and excited as this day was much warmer than the previous days. It was, in fact, a beautiful Orlando day. What they were all hoping for.

Today would be their first day in IOA.

They were very excited that there was no fingerprinting going on at the front gate. They were just scanning tickets with a handheld ticket scanner. Swell and Sheepie hadn’t been having much luck with the whole fingerprinting/ticket scanning thing.

As they entered IOA Ma was very impressed with the look of the park. Ooohing and aaahing the whole way.

As the crowed turned left toward the Hulk and Spiderman the trio turned right and headed into the beautifully themed Suess Landing.



Destination?

Why Cat in the Hat of course.



The standby line was not all that long, the express line even shorter.

An enjoyable ride even though it is for children and none of the trio is really a child. Very well themed although the spinning is a little violent for Sheepie. Ma really enjoyed looking at all the things but neither she nor Swell had ever heard the story of the Cat in Hat before (Swell immigrating to the US at age nearly 10).

As they walked through Suess Landing they couldn’t help but notice that the colours seemed to have faded somewhat. They remembered it being brighter in the past. It is still a great area and very neat to walk though but not as whimsical as it was with brighter paint on the buildings.

After Cat in the Hat it was off to the High in the Sky Trolley. This express line was quite long but they were willing to wait.

A surprise for Swell and Sheepie when the train started and they went in a direction they had never gone in before. They were on a different track than they had ever been on before. This track didn’t go through the cafeteria. The story being told was also different than they had heard before. It was a pleasant surprise.

Ma enjoyed the ride until the train went over the lagoon. She was quite scared over the water and closed her eyes.

She was scared enough that she decided she didn’t much feel like doing that ride ever again.

The trio strolled about taking pictures, watching the children enjoy their day with their families. Eventually leaving Seuss Landing and ending up outside Poseidon.



They decided why not. We’re here we might as well do it. Swell and Sheepie had only done it one time before and had enjoyed it quite a bit.

It was again a lot of fun with a great tour leader.

Walking out of the “ride” they were greeted by a very pleasant day. One forgets what the day is like when they are in Poseidon as it is dark and chilly while inside.

The sun was bright and it was a very warm day.

After Poseidon?

Well remember Ma has a listening problem.

Swell said “Let’s go on Dueling Dragons. Ma, you probably don’t want to go on this. It goes upside down.”
Ma “No, I’ll do it”
Swell “Maybe we should look at it first and then you can decide.”
Ma “No I don’t want to look at it I’ll just do it.”

All the way down the queue Swell kept insisting that they stop and look at the ride. She tried her hardest to convince Ma not to go on it.

Ma has a listening problem.

They chose Fire Dragon as their first dragon.

Ma was chiding her daughter up the climb saying that this wasn’t that bad.

Then they crested the hill and all that could be heard in IOA was Ma screaming and Swell yelling “Ha, Ha I told you so.”

Swell and Sheepie weren’t too concerned as Ma had just had her annual medical physical a few weeks prior.

Heart? Good.
Blood Pressure? Good.
Death on a ride? Highly unlikely.
Speaking to her daughter again? Perhaps.
At the end of the ride with a quiver in her voice Ma indicated that she survived but would NOT do that again. She then slapped her daughter’s arm and asked “Why didn’t you warn me? Why did you let me do this?”

Swell just rolled her eyes, laughed and exclaimed: “I did”

Because of this near death experience and the lack of breakfast they decided to go for lunch. On past trips to IOA they either left the park for City Walk or went to the Enchanted Oak for something quick.

Knowing that Ma needed sometime for her heart to descend from her throat and knowing that this was to be a relaxing-go-with-the-flow trip they decided to try the world famous Mythos.

They were told that there would be a 20 minute wait (it was around 11:30 and the restaurant was only open from 11:00 to 3:00).

While they waited (much less than 20 minutes) they looked over the menu. It was reasonably priced for real food geared for a captive audience.

The chairs in Mythos are the heaviest chairs in the world.

The themeing is great.

The view – they were sitting by big windows overlooking the lagoon with Hulk in the distance – great.

The pasta of the day was a surprising Chicken Pad Thai. Surprising because none of the trio would have considered that a pasta dish although they guessed it truly was.

The Risotto of the day was beef tenderloin.

The order was placed:
For all – Shrimp sushi appetizer which was good. Not great but far from bad. Good and enjoyable.

Sheepie – Chicken Pad Thai – which was amazing. Sweet, tangy, filling. Amazing.

The women shared the Risotto which they really enjoyed but both agreed that they couldn’t have eaten it by themselves both due to portion size and saltiness.

It was a pleasant lunch and they agreed that it was very nice to not feel rushed or overly crowded.

Upon exiting the restaurant they decided to do a round of water rides before leaving the park.
First stop was Ripsaw Falls.

The lap bar?

Sheepie hated it.

Swell loved it.

Swell loved it because she was always frightened by the final drop. She always felt like she was going to go flying out. This made her feel much more secure.

Sheepie hated it solely because it dug into the side of his legs. The way the bar juts out just banged the side of his legs the whole ride.

Nonetheless it was as usual a great ride and even Ma enjoyed it.

They also enjoyed Jurassic Park after ensuring Ma watched the final drop.


She decided it would be ok.

And it was.

Although it took her a while to recover.

They didn’t feel like getting completely soaked so they bypassed Bluto’s.

But decided to go on Spiderman on the way out of the park.

Ma wasn’t told anything about Spiderman except that it wasn’t scary and she would have fun.

The express line moved quickly and they were soon in their vehicle. The ride progressed and they were all enjoying it.

As the ride approached the big lift sequence the car started to shudder. Eventually stopping.

After a brief few seconds the car started moving again but was not in tune with the “picture” part of the ride.

As the car approached the top of its ride the pictures disappeared completely and thus the ride lost all of its “ride”.

The whole car groaned at this misfortune.

It was decided that Sheepie would ask the ride attendant if everyone could just go through again but that question was unnecessary.

The ride attendants simply told the entire car to go through the baby swap line and get on again.

This time the ride was flawless and all enjoyed it.

Well Ma tolerated it.

But was fascinated by it.

And was scared of it.

They left the park so the women could do the pool and Sheepie who doesn’t “do” pools could watch some TV.

When the entered the room to prepare for their respective events they were met with a very pleasant and delicious surpise!



Their strawberries! The three half strawberries from the day before were simply decoys. The real ones were here now... but not for long!



After the pool a great debate occurred. Swell and Sheepie were going to go see a movie. Ma was invited along. First she said she would go. Then she said no. Then yes. Then no.

She finally decided she wouldn’t go but would rather spend some more time in the hot tub/pool.

Swell and Sheepie walked back to City Walk and saw Forgetting Sarah Marshall and were very, very grateful that Ma decided not to join them.

Full frontal male nudity and one’s mother don’t mix.

Overall the movie was crude and funny. It was a very enjoyable night which ended with a fruitless search for food.

But that was ok.

Because they were at Universal Studios and most importantly they were together.

DAY 5

This, the second last day of the trip, started – not surprisingly – like the previous days. They woke up when they felt like it.

The plan for the day was simple.

Go back to US with Ma to finish the things she had yet to do and repeat a few favorites then over to IOA to pass some time before returning BACK to US for the Mardi Gras parade and perhaps listen to the band.

The trio walked to US from the PBH and again enjoyed the scenery.



Walking was quicker than taking the water taxi and it was a pleasant, warm day.

Upon arriving at US the trio could see that it was a busy day. It was, after all, Saturday. Not wanting to stand in a long frustrating line at the front gates they took the Blue Man group shortcut and were very quickly in the park.

Being the adult children they are they headed straight for ET. Just as they arrived they were treated to this:



What a show!

Well it was a show.

And they watched 2 minutes of it.

As they entered the ET line they noted that the express line was quite busy but didn’t think much of it. Arriving at the head of the line they were once again treated to a front row bike.

After ET they took quite a long time to explore the ball room.

Sheepie went up top to try to shoot Ma and Swell with the balls but accidentally hit some poor woman in the face instead.

Oops. Sorry.



The woman who was supervising the area was very nice and after throwing a few balls at Swell she took the time to explain to Swell how to use the guns. Swell then lobbed a few balls at the upper level hitting a few poor kids. They in turn sent a volley in her direction.

The trio left the ball area surprised by how fun it was. They were further surprised that a large percentage of the people in the ball room were above the age of 16.

Following the long ball break they walked quite aimlessly eventually finding themselves in front of the Mummy.

Swell and Sheepie decided to ride again. Ma was asked if she wanted to ride. She said “yes”. Swell took a long time to explain to her that this was, in fact, the ride which caused tears just a couple of days earlier. Ma then changed her mind and decided to just sit and people watch.

They approached the line and found a large group of people just standing about trying to figure out which of the three lines they should enter.

As the attendant helped the group Swell and Sheepie were astonished that the vast majority of the group entered the express line.

And the vast majority of the vast majority had the purchased express passes. As they walked down the queue they soon hit the end of the line. They hoped that Ma had found a comfortable place to sit as it was going to be a long wait.

As they were waiting in line they struck up a conversation with the family in front of them.

This family had spent the preceding number of days at Disney and were now exploring Universal. It sounded like they had a full day of both parks ahead of them but they had FOTL passes as they were staying on site.

The young man was anxious to learn about the ride. Swell stated that it was fun. It was dark. It was fast.

Swell continued by indicating that she was very scared of the ride when she first did it but now it was one of her favourite rides out of both Disney and US.

She then took it a step too far.

“We rode with my Mum the other day. She was so scared that she started to cry.”

The family laughed and the boy said; “I don’t think that I’ll be scared like that. It’ll be fun.”

A few moments later Swell felt a tug on her pants.

Turning around she was soon looking down into the doe eyes of a young girl.

“Lady, is this scary?” she asks with a very concerned look in her eyes.

Swell, not being a parent answers “Yes.”

As soon as the word yes passed her lips two things happened simultaneously:

1) Swell realized that she probably should have worded her answer differently
2) The young girl’s doe eyes went from a look of concern to a look of fear.

Swell tried to make up for her blunder by saying “Its just fast. Its fun. You’ll like it. Have you ever been on Space Mountain? I think that Space Mountain is scarier! My Mum was scared but she did ok.”

It soon became apparent that the young girl had been listening to the conversation that had taken place between the duo and the family in front of them. She was not going to be convinced that this ride was not the worst thing on the face of the planet.

When the front of the line was finally reached Swell and Sheepie looked over their shoulder and saw the young girl and her family continue past the ride and out the chicken exit.

Swell was greatly upset that she accidentally talked this young girl out of riding.

C’est la vie.

And sorry to that family.

After the Mummy the met back up with Ma and headed over to MIB which they rode three or four times Swell and Sheepie continuing to improve but not being able to exceed 300,000 and 400,000 respectively.

The fifth time entering the queue they hit a wall of people just as the line entered the building.

Being too privileged to stand in such a long line they walked back outside and decided it was time to eat.

The plan for the afternoon was to go to IOA so they left US and headed to City Walk for lunch.

They decided to go back to Bubba Gumps and fine food and drink were had.



While eating an enjoyable lunch the decision was made to forgo IOA and head back to US rather than having to keep an eye on the clock to ensure they made it back to the parade.

Sheepie went along with the plan although he wasn’t terribly pleased with having to spend so much of his vacation at US.

They went to Twister which neither Ma nor Swell enjoyed. Not that the Twister was too scary they simply found the rain to be far too cold. Both wished they had brought a jacket.

Sheepie likes Twister. Being old enough to remember Edmonton’s Black Friday Tornado well he finds that it brings back interesting memories he also enjoys watching the mechanics behind the effects.

After Twister they went back The Mummy with Ma deciding to join the duo for this ride. Swell, once again, ensured that Ma understood that this was the ride that caused her palpitations earlier in the week. Ma was insistent that she would be willing to go on it again. She survived but said that she would not be doing that again.

The final rides of the day were all done on MIB. On one of their many rides they ended up in a car where the two fellows riding in front of them scored 600,000 and 700,000 without using the “Red Button”.

At the end of the ride Sheepie asked them for any advice they could give. They were not fountains of information but they did suggest aiming only for high targets and then they said “Follow us.”

Thinking that they were going to go on a re-ride with the fellows and be granted a grand tutorial they followed them.

Followed them right through the baby swap line and back into line.

Swell and Sheepie were immediately struck with an overwhelming sense of guilt as the two guys gleefully said “Now you know a Universal secret.”

“Can’t you get in trouble?”

“Who cares.”

They rode through again this time both Swell and Sheepie doing a little bit better by ensuring that they aimed at higher targets.

As they exited the ride they saw the guys go back through baby swap as Swell and Sheepie went through the normal exit and back into the end of the line.

This would be their last MIB ride of the day and they met back up with Ma who had decided not to ride – The Mummy having finished her off.

They headed over to Starbucks where Swell and Ma bought some coffees and the trio sat passing the time before the parade started.

The coffees done. The trio started to look for a good place to sit.

Passing by Shrek they decided that they had time to go in before the start of the parade.

As the line weaved in and out Sheepie was very confused. It seemed that the line was heading away from the entrance.

And they did. They entered some sort of magic backdoor and entered the theater on the opposite side as usual. Sheepie remains confused to this day. Was it a second theater? Or just a different entrance? And why did they go in that way?

Shrek was fun and after the show was over the trio found a spot to sit across from Shrek to wait for the start of the parade.

They sat and waited and waited and were soon told that upon the start of the parade they would not be permitted to have their feet on the “road”.

As they waited Swell and Sheepie soon realized that they were exhausted.



As the parade made its way past the trio Sheepie became confused.

Why were all of these people going so crazy over cheap plastic beads?

Why was Ma going crazy? Screaming until she was hoarse. Jumping up and down squealing like a child. This was a side of her he had never seen before.

Why was he the only one raising his shirt?





After being hit in the head a few times by both people and beads Sheepie was glad to see the end of the parade.

The trio decided they were too tired to stay for any of the music and left via the Blue Man Group exit. Much quicker than following the large mass of humanity heading for the regular exit.

It was dinner time and the trio decided on going to the Latin Quarter.







Dinner was great and the day ended quietly.

DAY 6

Ma was getting tired of the whole theme park thing but was willing to do it for one more day.

One more day.

Fully devoted to IOA.

As had become routine the trio walked to the parks and enjoyed the beautiful weather and scenery.

Their previous time at IOA the trio went right instead of left but this time they followed the crowds and headed past the Hulk to Dr. Doom’s Freefall.



After a very short wait they were loaded in and on their way. It was much more enjoyable than Swell and Sheepie had remembered. It was only their second time on the ride ever as they had made a point of avoiding it in the past – claiming it not all that fun. It was definitely worth doing and they’ll ride it again in the future.

As they continued their way around the park they came to Spiderman and of course wanted to ride it. As they approached the door there was a large group of people trying to figure out where they were and what they were doing. Again, surprisingly, the vast majority of the group entered the express line. It was the longest Spiderman express line they had ever encountered. Still – it was an enjoyable ride after the wait.

The group walked through Toon Lagoon promising each other that they would return to it before the end of the day.


They happened across the Sinbad show just as it was about to start.

They figured: “Why not?”

It is an enjoyable show and they sat much closer than they had ever sat before getting a better look at the actors.

A fun way to spend some time.

After Sinbad is was lunch time.

Back to Mythos for this group!

It was a short wait but they were seated relatively quickly even without reservations. They were given the exact same table as they had previously. The specials ended up being the same as their previous visit. This caused a little concern for Sheepie. His concern concerned the waitress as she explained that when the parks are slower they run the specials for a few days using up all the ingredients.

Sheepie was quick to correct her concern, “Oh no! I’m fine with it being the same special I just need to figure out whether I want to eat the same thing again now.”

Sheepie is very predictable when it comes to food at restaurants. He’ll very often get the same thing at the same restaurant every time they go.

“Why try something else when you know you like something already?”

He was convinced by the women to try something different so he did.

He chose steak.

It was yummy.

Very, very yummy.

The woman each had a soup and shared a salad. They also found their lunches to be yummy.

They ensured to save room for dessert.

They each had a dessert shot.



One Tiramisu, one Cheese Cake, and one Chocolate Mousse cake. All three were thoroughly enjoyable and just the right size.

After Mythos it was Jurassic Park for the last time and then Swell and Sheepie went on both sides of Dueling Dragons while Ma waited patiently.

They ended their day by going on water rides a number of times. They went on Bluto’s three times in a row with varying waits – none of which were all that long. They find it enjoyable to go on Bluto’s with other families and watch their enjoyment.

They often feel bad that these other people will have to walk around in wet sneakers, and denim for the rest of the day.

Swell and Sheepie ensure that they wear quick dry clothes when they go to IOA and then they enjoy getting soaked.

And soaked they got.

After a few times on Bluto’s they headed to Ripsaw Falls which had been down for a large portion of the day. They were excited to find it back open but even the express line was packed. They didn’t deter them and they went on Ripsaw Falls twice.



With those two rides they were spent and ready to go back to the hotel.

Following a leisurely walk back to the resort and a few hours of rest they headed back to City Walk with the hope that they could eat at Margaritaville. When they heard that it was at least a 90 minute wait and wouldn’t be much quicker even with their room key Priority Seating they took a pager but tried to find a quicker way to eat.

A quicker way to eat was found at the Porch of Indecision. They were seated immediately the host returned their pager for them and large portions of good food were soon had!



Following dinner the trio just wandered around city walk for awhile doing touristy things like this picture:



That's right. They're that cool.

Their last night was had and they were up very early the next morning to drive Ma to the airport.

The tolls were paid there and back again.

Swell and Sheepie returned to PBH to checkout and upon loading the car they headed to US to do MIB a few more times.

And then they were done.

And they left.

And drove home.

And didn’t have to pay for parking.

By some miracle from above and not by crook.